1/11/2025
Penn fell to Ivy League foe Columbia 74-59 including a second half collapse where the Quakers were outscored 46-30. The Penn PR department pointed out that "Lizzy Groetsch had a season-high four points with two rebounds, providing a spark off the bench in the loss.” They further noted that “despite the lopsided loss, Penn’s uniforms were nicely pressed throughout."
12/30/2029
Penn teammates Georgia Heine and Katie Collins played on the same high school team in Manasquan, N.J., the same town where Jack Nicholson went to high school. Happily, the Penn duo does not resemble the two creepy girls from "The Shining."
12/22/2024
The Quakers took care of the Delaware State Hornets, 72-45. It’s the most brutal elimination of insects by Quakers since Ben Franklin first zapped 300 mosquitoes in 1782.
12/9/2024
Senior guard Stina Almqvist led the Quakers to a rousing 74-63 win over LaSalle. Almqvist hails from Sweden, so in celebration, Philly-area food trucks replaced cheesesteaks with Swedish meatballs. No word on whether anyone noticed.
12/2/2024
The Quakers handed Immaculata its first loss of the season by trouncing the Div. 3 Mighty Macs, 117-39. The lopsided score represented a new program scoring record for Penn. This reporter looks at how soundly Penn thrashed the Catholic school and can only say “Holy $#@!”
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