College Hoops Updates - in Jokes - by Dave Barend

10/16/2026

People think it's wrong that a player on KU will be entering his 7th year of college. What’s

wrong is that his nickname isn’t Bluto. 

10/13/2026

The NCAA is considering a televised “summer league” for college basketball. But how 

can it compete with baseball, said nobody

10/9/2026

Tom Izzo says the way things are done at Michigan State isn’t “old school," it's "right school." While the folks at Michigan call it "safety school."

10/6/2026

After forcing 6 more conference winners into the Tourney’s first round, the NCAA cut the NIT to just 24 teams. Its next move: forbidding mid-majors from playing any games after February.

10/2/2026

The Senate passed a bill providing an antitrust exemption to the NCAA. 

Seems unneeded. The NCAA has been operating for decades with nobody trusting it.

9/29/2026

Duke Coach Jon Scheyer says he’s there for the "long haul.” While his players are there

for the big haul. 

9/25/2026

After becoming Creighton’s highest-ranked recruit ever, Micah Gordon credited the school’s beautiful campus and amazing arena. Yeah, I'm guessing those were reasons two and three.

9/22/2026

Nike will be giving U of Miami $200 million and free apparel to all of their players. So if you just shelled out $150 for one pair of Nikes, try not to think about that. 

9/18/2026

USC’s Chad Baker-Mazara is filing a lawsuit. Apparently, he didn’t want to be the only D1 player not to.

9/15/2026

Yet another player received a restraining order to play an extra year. The NCAA is upset. Apparently they miss the old days - when players received a different type of restraining order.

9/11/2026

UNC Charlotte’s Jizzle James, is battling substance abuse. His father says he needs to be shown love. Maybe his father should have thought of that before naming his son Jizzle

9/8/2026

UCLA fired its AD due to a financial deficit - and will now have to pay him $6.5 million. 

9/4/2026

Duke’s Coach K Court will now include Edward Jones. If you arewondering who Edward Jones is, then you’re probably not a parent paying for a kid to go to Duke.

9/1/2026

Florida’s Todd Golden just got an extension. It really needed to happen. At least according to

all the women he stalked.

8/30/2026

The SEC announced a rule forbidding former NBA players because it’s the right thing to do. 

Which now makes me think it’s the wrong thing to do.

8/27/2026

After a plethora of court decisions, college hoops players who graduated last year now finally know they either have one more year of eligibility, or they don’t.

8/24/2026

Gonzaga's Mark Few is now in the Hall of Fame. Impressive. But also confusing. I mean, I swear I just saw him in Spokane

8/20/2023

The SEC commissioner reminded his members to follow the NCAA rules. The members response: “Why start now?”

8/17/2026

The NCAA and FBI are teaming up to combat hackers who steal sex videos made by athletes. 

If only there were a way to not make those videos.

8/13/2026

The Senate’s decision to postpone voting on the Protect College Sports Act completely shocked everyone wholly unfamiliar with the Senate.

8/10/2026

Dick Vitale is on his way to beating cancer for the 5th time. That’ll be two more wins than Miss.Valley St had all last season. To be fair, Dickie V never had to battle Alcorn State.

8/6/2026

The Big East hired a MLB exec as its new commish. Apparently the Big East wanted a guy who knows how to keep a league from being covered by ESPN.

8/3/2026

Big East hired a MLB exec as its new commish. Apparently the Big East wanted a guy who knows how to keep a league from being covered by ESPN.

7/30/2026

Notre Dame’s players will be wearing a SoFi patch in exchange for $20 million. ND considered going with a cross. But Jesus wouldn’t match the offer.

7/27/2026

Alabama’s NIL director was arrested after paying a prostitute $100. But he wasn't fired. Makes sense. Why get rid of someone who can negotiate such a great deal? 

7/23/2026

ESPN has agreed to air the next 5 SWAC tournament championship games. So now the SWAC will know that, at least on those 5 days, it will be getting no less exposure than cornhole. 

7/20/2026

11 athletes are suing the NCAA just to play another year. Because that’s all college athletes want these days - just to play.

7/16/2026

A former Kansas player was charged with attempted murder. So I believe that just leaves poaching and mutiny. You know, as the only 2 crimes a Kansas player hasn’t committed.

7/13/2026

Mike Boynton Jr. was just named Michigan’s interim coach in June. And now he’s being promoted to head coach. Hard to explain. Though he did go undefeated. 

7/9/2026

Brandon McCoy Jr is sticking with Michigan despite the coach’s departure. I guess he really wants Michigan's education. Or Michigan’s money.

7/6/2026

James Nnaji was drafted by Detroit in 2023. He then played for Baylor. This season he’s 

heading to George Mason. And next year: high school.

7/2/2026

Butler’s Hinckle Fieldhouse will be the site of this year’s NBA Cup.Makes sense. You know, the setting of a fictional movie becoming the setting of fictional championship.

6/29/2026

Narcisse Ngoy has inexplicably opted to play for Auburn despite being drafted. Though I probably should mention it was the Clippers who drafted him. 

6/25/2026

Many of the freshmen taken in the Draft claimed they had worked so hard for that moment. Apparently it takes more than 1 year of college to learn the definition of work.

6/22/2026

Univ. Green Bay gave its coach a contract extension despite a 22-43 record over the past 2 years. There can only be one explanation: the AD must be dyslexic.

6/18/2026

The PAC12’s commissioner just got a five year extension. Got to wonder why. Has to be based on her flawless performance these past 2 years - when there was no PAC12.

6/15/2026

Tom Izzo said he’s disgusted by the turmoil at Michigan State. Which explains why he’s going to do nothing. 

6/11/2026

The commissioner of the SEC said he doesn’t want to start a super conference. Why would he? He already runs one.

6/8/2026

Virginia Tech just received a massive $75 million donation. That should be enough for a new basketball team. And almost enough for a quarterback.

6/4/2026

Alabama’s Aden Holloway told a judge he had no intent to distribute the 2.1 lbs of pot found

in his apartment. But clearly this kid has a problem: he needs to learn to share.

6/2/2026

A bill has been submitted to set a salary cap for college players. This could really help the mid-major schools. You know, assuming the cap is set at zero.

5/29/2026

The NCAA announced a potential “age based eligibility” model. The Big10 isn’t sure what’s meant by “age-based”. Whereas the SEC isn’t sure what’s meant by eligibility.

5/25/2026

Georgia’s basketball team just received a donation of $10 million. Wow. Now all Georgia 

has to do is get donations for its other 4 starters.

5/22/2026

LSU just signed a player who is not eligible. And if you are wondering how that is possible, then you are forgetting that the school is LSU.

5/18/2026

Airion Simmons got caught fixing games after playing 4 seasons at Abilene Christian. The NCAA decided to permanently ban him. So let that serve as a warning to any player thinking of fixing games who has no eligibility left.

5/15/2026

University of Detroit extended their coach’s contract for another 5 years. The bad news is he’s going to have to spend another 5 years in Detroit.

5/11/2026

Duke is forming a partnership with Amazon. So I guess the answer is yes. You know, to the question: Can Duke possibly become less likable?

5/8/2026

The BIG10’s members made $1.37 billion last year. Imagine all the things you can buy with 

$1.37 billion. Like championships. 

5/4/2026

Arkansas just signed a 7 footer from Finland who is said to have excellent mobility. That’ll help. Especially when he goes from Finland to Arkansas.

5/1/2026

The NCAA said its expanding the number of teams in Tournament to 76. That sounds a lot better than saying it's expanding the number of teams who will not really feel like they got in to 12.

4/27/2026

People always think I just come with "old man game." They soon learn they’re wrong. I just come with old man.

4/24/2026

UCLA will not be appearing in the inaugural Billl Walton Classic. Stunning. Though more stunning would be if Bill Walton appeared.

4/21/2026

UConn’s Braylon Mullins, a projected first round draft pick, has decided to stay in school. He clearly knows the value of a college education. Or maybe just the value of college.

4/17/2026

Vermont is now the first school to have a couple coaching their men’s and women’s basketball teams. And no, their names are not Ben & Jerry.

4/14/2026

People say that the transfer portal makes it hard to remember who is on which team. But I say the transfer portal gives me an excuse other than my age.

4/10/2026

ESPN reported that the Big10 pocketed $69 million from the Tournament. And combined, the 

mid-major conferences pocketed lint.

4/7/2026

Well, what the hell are we supposed to do now?

4/3/2026

There’s only one thing that would have made UConn’s incredible  win over Duke even better: If Danny Hurley was the coach of Duke.

3/31/2026

Illinois has so many “Vich-es” you’d think my wife would be on the team.

3/27/2026

After Will Wade took LSU's coaching job, NC State’s AD said he felt lied to. Well, of course he was lied to. Did he not realize he was talking to Will Wade? 

3/24/2026

Gotta love the first round upsets. Well, gotta love the first round upset. 

3/20/2026

My daughters claim that my brackets are just like Taylor Swift: lots and lots of Xs.

3/17/2026

Wife: How many more hours are you going to spend on those damn brackets?

Me: Depends. How many more hours till tip off?

3/13/2026

Let's get one thing straight: Sunday should never be referred to as Oscars Night. Happy Selection Sunday to all, and to all a good Tournament.

3/9/2026

Furman has made the NCAA Tournament. Yet all you hear about is Batman, Superman 

and Spiderman.

3/6/2026

Cal State Bakersfield suspended an assistant coach for “moonlighting as a pimp.” I’m guessing the fact that he was “moonlighting” wasn’t the main problem.

3/2/2026

Tony Bennett left Virginia and is now with LA. But we all know that’s not where his heart is. 

2/28/2026

Headline: "No More Tinkle at Oregon State.” Well, they might want to get their prostates checked.

2/24/2026

Just in case you are one of the few who have yet to find something to complain about college hoops, I give you this: Duke is ranked #1.

2/21/2026

UCLA’s coach shocked everyone by ejecting his own player from a game. Though I’m guessing it would have been an even bigger shock if he ejected a player from the opposing team.

2/17/2026

Quinnipiac has a player whose last name is Wewe. He pronounces it “way-way.” But I 

bet his friends don’t. 

2/13/2026

For its tournament, the BIG12 will have an LED floor. No word yet if the Big10 will be going

with plasma.

2/10/2026

The SEC just made a distribution of over $1 billion to its universities. And if all goes according to plan, the the mid-major conferences will also be able to make a distribution - of Ramen Noodles.

2/6/2026

"Bidunga!” said a KU fan.

“No. It’s Bazinga!” said Sheldon Cooper.

2/3/2026

Michigan’s Dusty May, said there’s no reason to call his team dirty. Though there seems to be clear reason to call him that.

1/30/2026

St. John’s played a video of Pitino’s career to celebrate his 900th win. I wish it had more from  his time at Louisville. Not because I’m a big fan of the Cards. But because I'm a big fan of strippers.

1/27/2026

The G-League is worried it will lose its fans if players keep leaving for college. A

valid concern, should the  G-League ever get fans.

1/23/2026

The Feds released a surprisingly lengthy list of schools involved in a big betting scandal, Most surprising was Boston College - for its absence. 

1/20/2026

Arizona is now the unanimous #1. That’ll happen when you are 18-0. Well, unless you are 

Nebraska. Or Miami-Ohio.

1/16/2026

Chicago State was up by 2 with the ball, with 0.1 seconds left and lost.  So how am I 

supposed to come up with something funnier than that? 

1/13/2026

Houston just won 16 games in a row for the first time. And those of you who are now wondering how many times they have won 17 in a row, well, maybe keep that to yourselves. 

1/9/2026

A former Michigan State player was removed from the stands for verbally abusing the refs. He then apologized for distracting from Coach Izzo’s verbal abuse of the refs.

1/5/2026

With little time left and up by 3, Notre Dame stupidly fouled a 3-point shooter and lost. Seems 

like they should plummet in the rankings. Not the AP, but the ones by US News.

1/2/2026

Fans are furious that the story about a former NBA Draft pick playing for Baylor dominated the college hoops news last week. They are wrong. The story was the only college hoops news last week.

12/30/2025

After Marquette’s Zaide Lowery left the team, the coach issued a statement thanking him for his contributions. I’m guessing the coach issued a different statement before Lowery left the team.

12/26/2025

Georgetown’s coach hit a kid when he threw a plastic water bottle in the stands. Which in DC is much better than throwing it in the garbage.

12/23/2025

My annual Christmas wish: I would like UConn to get a player named Cornelius. And then he could be called UConn Cornelius

12/19/2025

Tom Izzo just became the highest paid coach in the Big10. Maybe he can now

afford clothes that don't say Michigan State.

12/16/2025

According to ESPN, Michigan has launched a query into its athletic department. Step 1:

Ponder what constitutes a query.

12/13/2025

Univ of Utah said it formed a partnership with a private equity firm because it would’ve been

bad marketing to say it formed a partnership with the devil.

12/9/2025

On Sunday, Gonzaga’s Mark Few became the second fastest coach with 750 wins. Though I don’t think his additional training will help him become the first fastest.

12/5/2025

Charles Barkley and Dickie V are calling the 12/13 IU v UK game. I’m guessing it will be both turrible and awesome, baby.

11/30/2025

Working on a song for Purdue. Here's what I have so far: “My center has a first name. It’s O-S-C-A-R. My guard has a second name. It’s M-A-Y-E-R."

11/27/2025

ESPN Headline: Houston Lands Diane. Yet the article had no comment from Sam Malone.

11/25/2025

A BYU player was arrested for possession of pot. He has not been told if he’s going to play in 

the next game. But he’s has been told that he’s going to hell.

11/23/2025

Michigan and USC voted against taking a $2.4 billion investment to fix the B1G’s financial issues. They claimed it would just provide a Band-Aid. Well, there’s some strong proof that we still have inflation.

11/18/2025

Notre Dame players are less than thrilled with “The Bend” emblazoned on the front of their jerseys. I guess they should be happy it’s not on the front of their shorts.

11/14/2025

Two players on last year’s 3-28 Miss.Valley St team have been arrested for throwing games. 

But they have a solid defense: We didn’t throw games; we simply suck.

11/11/2025

TCU’s Malick Diallo announced he’s going to be out for the season. He was then informed

that’s not how it works, by the LBGTQ community.

11/7/2025

Villanova didn’t expect to face a crowd filled with BYU alum at their match-up in Las Vegas.

They must have forgotten that Vegas is a great place to get married again. And again.

11/3/2025

Loyola-Chicago will be wearing a patch to honor Sister Jean. Very nice. Though I kind of think

the players are going to need the use of both eyes.

10/31/2025

Despite the NCAA's ruling, Tyon Grant-Foster can play for Gonzaga after a judge slapped an injunction on them so fast it made "their heads spin.” The judge then added, “You better get rid of those gophers.”

10/28/2025

The season starts in less than a week and Purdue is #1. They must have the best 0-0 record.

10/24/2025

Two G-League players just got called up - to college.

10/21/2025

The NCAA believes that recent gambling issues were the workof some crime syndicate. I have to admit I’m hoping it was the Legion of Doom. 

10/17/2025

John Calipari just announced that he will not be a “transactional” coach. I guess he must have forgotten about a prior transaction. You know, the one where he agreed to coach Arkansas for $7.5 million per year.

10/14/2025

The NCAA may allow corporate sponsors on uniforms. Their main hesitation is that all of the players will go with WeTransfer.

10/10/2025

The BIG10 is considering accepting a $2 billion investment. And the mid-major conferences are considering accepting food stamps.

10/7/2025

Duke will have two Boozers this season - because nobody wants to drink alone.

10/3/2025

The PAC-12 is suing the Mountain West for $55 million. To most  that’s a lot of money. To the BIG 10 that’s a back up point guard.

9/30/2025

Loyola-Chicago’s 106 year old Sister Jean is retiring. And yet people claim there are no job

openings. 

9/27/2025

Hakeen Olajuwon’s son is heading to Stanford. Not sure how that’s possible, I‘ve been told nobody gets into Stanford.

9/24/2025

Virginia Tech proposed adding $229 million to its athletics budget. Apparently “athletics budget” is a synonym for football team. 

9/21/2025

Univ of Kentucky will now be offering degrees in artificial intelligence. Which differs from

its other degrees how? 

9/17/2025

Fresno State has expelled a player accused of gambling on his games. Well, now we can rest assured that nothing like this will happen again.

9/14/2025

The brand new College Sports Commission just made an error of $44 million, but says it will improve. And there you have a Master Class on how to set the bar low.

9/10/2025

2K Games is creating a college basketball video game featuring 100 teams. Wow - said none of 265 teams not included.

9/7/2025

Tennessee’s Rick Barnes signed a lifetime contract. Good for him. Though if that was me I’d try to get an extension.

9/3/2025

The Pac12’s new deal with the CW Network surprised many. That’s because many didn’t

realize there’s still a Pac12 and a CW Network.

8/30/2025

The NCAA is partnering with Venmo to protect athletes from gambling dangers. The NCAA 

will then partner with foxes to protect the hen house. 

8/27/2025

The BIG12 is requiring teams provide opponents with player availability reports. Teams used to know nothing about an opposing player’s status. That will all change as now they’ll know he’s “a game time decision." 

8/23/2025

KU hired Tony Bland as an assistant coach. I’m guessing not because of his personality.

8/20/2025

Kansas calls a $300 million gift it received a “game changer.” Whereas the SEC calls it chump change.

8/16/2025

A judge issued a 44 page decision denying the 1983 NC State team’s request for NIL payment because it was untimely. I don’t get it. Why fill 44 pages with the word untimely?

8/13/2025

According to a new NCAA voting rule if the 4 “power" conferences agree on something it will take place. Ok. But how is that new?

8/9/2025

The NCAA determined it will not be possible to expand the Tournament to 76 this year. Of course not. There aren’t enough SEC teams left.

8/6/2025

Florida’s 7’ 9” Olivier Rioux went out for the school's football team hoping to play center for them as well. But every time he tired to bend over and hike he got called for delay of game.

8/2/2025

The College Sports Commission clarified that NIL collectives can pay athletes only in exchange for a “valid business purpose.” Boosters say they were just really confused before the addition the word “valid”.

7/29/2025

KU’s Bill Self received two stents for him to stop feeling so bad. I didn’t realize stents can help with guilt.

7/25/2025

The AAC will now be going by the AC. That works. Well, assuming the goal was to actually increase confusion with the ACC.

7/22/2025

The Secretary of Labor may be asked to determine whether college athletes are employees. That seems about as necessary as asking Neil deGrasse Tyson to determine if the sky is blue.

7/18/2025

Some colleges are receiving backlash for charging students a "talent fee" to pay athletes. You know, as opposed to most schools which only charge students “tuition.”

7/15/2025

The WAC has just recently lost a whopping 4 teams. It has since changed its name to the United Conference- because nobody would ever try to leave something called United.

7/11/2025

Congrats to the Big East on its new partnership with ESPN. Wait, that’s incorrect. I meant:  Sympathies to the Big East on its new partnership with ESPN+.

7/8/2025

Texas State has joined the Pac-12. And next they’ll join MySpace.

7/4/2025

In case you’ve forgotten, let me remind you what the 4th of July means: Just four months till college hoops!! 

7/1/2025

Duke will be featured in ESPN’s new “Dick Vitale Invitational.” And apparently Dick Vitale is the one sending the invitations.

6/27/2025

Coach K’s last player still on Duke is transferring to UTSA, Apparently nobody has the heart to tell him that he will not find Coach K there either.

6/24/2025

Women are appealing the NCAA’s settlement with players contending it’s sexist as they are not getting enough. The NCAA claims there’s no sexism, it’s just that nothing is ever enough  for women.

6/20/2025

Sacramento State is joining the Big West. Shocking. Especially to those who did not know there is a conference called the Big West. Or a school called Sacramento State.

6/17/2025

A federal judge denied a Tennessee player’s request to play a fifth season in 5 years.You can read the judge's very lengthy decision, or my 3 word summary: “Get a job."

6/13/2025

Just like the NBA, college coaches will get to challenge calls. And just like the NBA, the games will last forever.

6/10/2025

A judge has ruled that colleges can start paying athletes on July 1. I think that’s wrong. The judge must have meant continue.

6/6/2025

The NCAA may double the teams in the First 4 so that 8 more can feel the Tournament experience. I’m not sure their math is correct. Currently zero teams feel like they are in the Tournament while playing in the First 4.

6/3/2025

The SEC will now impose a $500K fine for rushing the court. That seems unfair as the only people who could afford that will already be on the court.

5/30/2025

Big ESPN headline: “Duke Not Playing Miami Next Season.” The only way that deserves such attention is if North Carolina has moved to Miami.

5/27/2025

U of Green Bay, 4-28 last season, asked for NCAA permission to play in the $1 million winner take all “The Basketball Tournament”. They have lots of support. Especially from the other competitors.

5/23/2025

Tennessee’s Zakai Zeigler wants to be allowed to play a 5th season in 5 years just to cash in on some NIL dough. This isn't sitting well with many. I mean, who goes to college with the intent of making money?

5/20/2025

Florida’s coach, Todd Golden just got an additional 6 years. To be clear, that was a contract extension. Not a jail sentence.

5/16/2025

The NCAA says it's open to a Trump led commission on college athletics. Apparently the NCAA is unfamiliar with Trump’s obsession with eliminating inefficient organizations.

5/13/2025

I don’t understand why the NCAA wants to shorten basketball games. I mean the sooner the game is over the sooner my wife puts on the Hallmark Channel.

5/9/2025

UCLA, with 11 NCAA titles, is being replaced by St. John’s, with zero NCAA titles, in the CBS Sports Classic. I guess “Classic” must be referring to the age of the coach.

5/6/2025

Clemson’s football team is taking Ian Schiefflelin from its basketball team. Seems like the basketball team should get something in return. Well, other than the realization that they are just the basketball team.

5/2/2025

Shaq is the new GM of Sacramento State. Good chance he helps the team improve. Even better chance he ruins a second row seat.

4/292025

Kentucky has decided to turn its athletic department into an LLC. And the changes it will need to make in order to operate as a business are exactly none.

4/25/2025

5 top transfers chose St. John’s because they heard of the great things Pitino can do for them. But it seems like there’s something they haven't heard of: R.J. Luis Jr.

4/22/2025

The NCAA announced its intent to eliminate 153 rules. Great first step. Next step: eliminate

itself.

4/18/2025

The mayor of Gainesville gave Florida’s coach Todd Golden a key to the city. Unfortunately for Golden, the key does not also work on jail cells.

4/15/2025

High Point's Allan Huss has become Creighton’s head coach “in-waiting.” And apparently Creighton’s head coach, Greg McDermott, has become queen.

4/11/2025

College hoops fans must wait 7 months for next season. Sad, because it’s not enough time to

learn where everyone transferred.

4/7/2025

The Dow is collapsing so bad that people are now calling it the Duke.

4/3/2025

3 teams in the Final 4 have coaches with checkered pasts. Yup, still not enough to root for Duke.

4/1/2025

The 4 best teams making the semi-finals should make any fan wildly excited. Well, any fan

but a college hoops fan.

3/28/2025

One Shining Moment. Literally. I mean if you try to count the “Shining Moments” in the 

Tournament and you get to two, you’ve gone too far.

3/25/2025

Millions of people across the country are passionately rooting for their schools to prevail. So

clearly the perfect time time to dismantle the Dept of Education.

3/21/2025

Well, at least my Women's bracket is still perfect. Yeah, that might be because the Women's Tournament hasn't started yet.

3/18/2025

Gonzaga is heading to their 26th straight Tournament, But I really don’t think that means they are homophobic.

3/14/2025

Shocking news: $3.1 billion expected to be bet on March Madness. Then again, what 

should people do with their money? Put it in the stock market?

3/11/2025

SIUE is headed to the Tournament. And I guess so are a whole bunch of pigs.

3/7/2025

The ACC settled its lawsuits by agreeing to distribute revenue based on viewership. But it has a new problem. Every team now wants all of its games to be against Duke.

3/4/2025

After his game winning half-court shot, a Michigan St player received countless congratulatory texts. And one that simply read, “We’re not paying” from UMass.

2/28/2025

During the Arizona-BYU game, Arizona students chanted, “F- the Mormons.” Yikes. But the BYU fans retorted, “Well ok, but we’d have to get married first.”

2/25/2025

A-Rod made a half-court shot to win a Bucknell student $10K, and to prove his doubters wrong. He can in fact take a shot without a syringe.

2/21/2025

Notre Dame’s coach declared, “If you hate me, great. If you think I stink. If you think I can’t coach, good for you.” Wonder if he considered “you" could be his athletic director.

2/18/2025

It appears the NCAA Tournament might have to change its name - to the SEC Tournament.

2/14/2025

I just watched a game on ESPN+. I swear I’ve seen better broadcasts produced by Wayne and Garth.

2/11/2025

Despite having the best record in college hoops, Drake did not make the AP Top 25. I guess all of the voters are Kendrick Lamar fans.

2/7/2025

MVST, currently 3-19, has been accused of colluding with gamblers and throwing games. They do have a pretty strong defense: We just suck.

2/4/2025

St. Louis and VCU fans brawled during their game. Tensions do run high when two teams  play while on the bubble for the NIT.

1/31/2025

U of Florida found no evidence of photos sent by head coach Todd Golden to women depicting his genitalia. Well, maybe they should have squinted.

1/28/2025

Harvard decided it will not pay its players. And why should they? Goldman Sachs will.

1/24/2025

Dick Vitale was hospitalized after falling. Doctors say he’s “making great strides.” Seems like there's evidence to the contrary.

1/21/2025

Duke’s game at BC was sold out. And reports have confirmed that at least some of those fans might not have been related to Cooper Flagg.

1/17/2025

During a recent Michigan home game, 27 vehicles were vandalized. Sadly there were no witnesses. But multiple people reported annoyingly loud car alarms.

1/14/2025

The ACC’s website says it has 18 teams. Really? According to ESPN all they have is Duke.

1/10/2025

After noting "how bizarre" it was to watch Duke’s win on TV while home sick, Coach Scheyer credited his staff. Seems like there’s another group he should've credited: one-hit-wonder OMC.

1/7/2025

Dartmouth players have decided not to unionize. It took a while, but they finally realized that

unions are not for the rich.

1/3/2025

Thanks to a pilot's quick maneuvering, Gonzaga’s plane avoided colliding with another on the LAX runway. And the team will now be referred to as the Zig-Zags.

12/31/2024

The big story in college hoops this week is, once again, college football.

12/27/2024

I keep hearing about a school called Nobody U that other teams should fear playing. Whereas I fear that Nobody U will use me as their mascot.

12/24/2024

’Twas the night before Xmas and all through the house

screams could be heard from the mouth of my spouse.

You see, I turned on college hoops naturally -  

instead of that piece of crap movie, “Love Actually."

12/20/2024

The NCAA wants Congress to put an end to betting on college games. Some think they will. So, who wants to bet?

12/17/2024

I was shocked to hear Dick Vitale announce he beat cancer again. Though that’s because I thought he was already dead.

12/13/2024

After losing its 5 best teams, Mountain West’s commissioner is focused on “Further strengthening the conference’s trajectory.” Good plan. Except for the fact that the trajectory is going down.

12/10/2024

In every Kentucky bar, when UK trailed Gonzaga by 18, you heard, “Maybe we should have kept Calipari." Until UK came back and won, then you heard ,“We would've lost if we still 

had Calipari." 

12/6/2024

To honor Lou Carnesecca, St. John’s players will wear special patches on their jerseys. And 

here’s hoping those jerseys are, instead, ugly sweaters.  

12/2/2024

After winning The Battle for Atlantis, Oklahoma left Atlantis. I guess it wasn’t worth it.

11/29/2024

After losing 3 games in a row, UConn had Thanksgiving dinner. Anyone have video of that? I really just want to see the part when someone asked Coach Hurley, “So, what are you thankful for today?"

11/26/2024

Welcome to Feast Week, when most people finally realize that college hoops has started - and still don’t care.

11/22/2024

UMKC beat Calvary U by 100. Yes, 100. I’m guessing this will put a damper on the school’s fear evoking motto of “Calvary’s coming!”

11/19/2024

A top recruit said he signed with Alabama because they have Oats. What happens

when he finds out they really only have grits?

11/15/2024

Duke is having major issues with cramping. Give me a break - said everyone on the women’s team.

11/12/2024

Auburn's plane turned around and headed home when two players wouldn’t stop fighting. 

So apparently the pilots were their parents. 

11/8/2024

After beating Texas A&M, UCF fans stormed the court. Later they received some sad news: It was only the first game

11/5/2024

College hoops season started yesterday. And yet nobody seems to be talking about it today. Wonder why.

11/1/2024

Duke’s Cooper Flagg says he always likes to be "where my feet are". Whereas his coach would like him to, at least occasionally, jump.

10/29/2024

The announcement that Tony Bennett is retiring has confused everyone in Virginia. And Liza  Minelli.

10/25/2024

UCLA will honor Bill Walton by playing while wearing tie-dyed jerseys. This idea somehow  received more votes than playing while high.

10/22/2024

The SEC and Big12 both claimed they have the best teams in college basketball. And at this point you should be laughing. And by you I mean UConn.

10/18/2024

Cal tapped NASA for advice on travel in the ACC. And there you have definitive proof that people in California are from another planet.

10/15/2024

The NCAA is eliminating national letters of intent. Makes sense. You know, because nobody under 18 has ever written a letter.

10/11/2024

The NCAA is shortening the transfer window. Finally an advantage for basketball players who are not tall.

10/8/2024

Mich St’s Tom Izzo said it’s fair to say that the BIG10 hasn’t won a championship in 25 years. So I guess he’s saying facts are fair. And so I guess he’s also saying he’ll never run for office.

10/5/2024

Mountain West fans were elated to learn that Texas State might join the conference. Then they learned there’s a difference between Texas State and Texas. 

10/1/2024

Tulane and Memphis turned down an offer to join the Pac12. When asked why they said because they didn’t want to join the Mountain West.

9/27/2024

Headline: "Air Force Likely Headed to AAC." Well I’m embarrassed to admit I don’t even know what countries border AAC.

9/24/2024

People can’t understand why Woj left ESPN’s millions for St. Bonaventure. That’s because those people have never been to Heaven on Earth. Go Bonnies!

9/20/2024

Despite the elimination of pretty much all of its teams, the PAC12 hopes to keep getting new fans. How’s that going to work? That’d be like a donut chain hoping to keep getting more customers after pretty much eliminating donuts.

9/17/2024

College of Alameda said its new coach, Gary Payton, is a perfect fit. Feels like there’s something the school could've compared GP's fit to. A  mitten? Maybe a hand sock?

9/13/2024

The Big12 announced it’s pausing talks of adding UConn. It didn't mention UConn’s football team’s 50-7 loss to Maryland. It didn't have to.

9/10/2024

It was just announced that the NCAA Tournament will be in Atlanta in 2031. That’s nice for 

Atlanta. Well, assuming there’s an NCAA in 2031.

9/6/2024

New Balance has given Cooper Flagg a huge deal. So people are. now asking,”Who’s Cooper Flagg?” I think this is good for the company. At least people aren’t now asking, 

“What’s New Balance?”

9/2/2024

UConn wants to join the Big12. But the Big12 is requiring UConn to have a legit football program first. Seems unfair as UConn isn’t requiring the Big12 to have a legit football conference first. 

8/29/2024

A bullhorn and a sword were stolen from Rick Pitino’s office. Question: Why would he even have a sword and a bullhorn in his office? Obvious Answer: To round-up and control hookers.

8/26/2024

Kentucky fans were relieved to learn that Calipari makes his return on the eve of Groundhog Day. For if it was actually on Ground Hog Day, he might never leave.

8/22/2024

Florida has signed a kid who is a whopping 7’ 9”. And now every NBA scout is asking, “But can he shoot the 3?”

8/19/2024

After Frank Selvy sadly passed away, Furman’s AD declared him the school’s best athlete. Hard to dispute Selvy’s greatness. But also hard to believe that  not one of Furman’s athletes is better than a corpse. 

8/15/2024

Plaintiffs’ attorneys want a judge to reject a $2.78 billion settlement with the NCAA because it’s too small. They continued to make this demand despite being asked many times, “Do you realize that's billion with a b?”

8/12/2024

Howard U’s coach is worried that the new college basketball system will prevent his team from competing for a national championship. And the difference now for Howard U will be

what?

8/9/2024

Kentucky announced its holding an open try-out. This prompted middle-aged guys across America to say, “I know I’d make it, but . . .”

8/5/2024

Calipari wants his Razorbacks to start thinking like kings. That shouldn’t be too hard. From what I’ve seen, most college players already think they should be treated like royalty.

8/2/2024 

The anti-trust settlement with the NCAA has former men’s basketball players receiving $135,000 and former women’s players receiving $35,000. So clearly, the attorney representing the women forgot his reading glasses.

7/30/2024

The BIG10’s commissioner says they aren’t going to expand, for now. So the ACC’s commissioner can breathe easy. For now.

7/26/2024

The college hoops season may commence with the women starting first. Makes sense given that men have been known to finish first.

7/23/2024

The Dept of Ed. stated that revenue must be equitably shared with female athletes But it could not explain how to accomplish that. So I guess nobody in the Dept of Ed. knows how to do division. 

7/19/2024

A US Court of Appeals ruled that college athletes may be considered employees, unless they play for fun. And there’s a wonderful lesson for the kids: If you want to make money, expect to be miserable. 

7/16/2024

Connecticut’s Danny Hurley signed a $50 million contract. Now he’ll be able

to afford pretty much anything he wants. Except a house in Connecticut.

7/12/2024

Former KU star, Mario Chalmers, sued the NCAA for using the image of his famous last second shot. The NCAA may have to replace Mario’s image. My suggestion: use Super Mario.

7/9/2024

The Big East signed a deal with NBC, FOX & TNT. And now the Big East can rest assured that its games will never appear on SportsCenter.

7/5/2024

George Mason’s coach just got a one year extension. That has to be huge for him. Though I thought those things were measured in inches.

7/1/2024

Marquette has stopped the search for its athletic director. Apparently, he’s just too good at hide and seek.

6/29/2024

The NCAA announced it may add 8 teams to the Tournament. Hmm. It feels like they are leaving something out. You know, like the words “power conference” before the word “teams”.

6/26/2024

Oswin Erhunmwunse, Providence’s top 2025 recruit, has decided to arrive a year early. Geesh. He must be tough to invite to New Year’s Eve parties.

6/22/2024

The Big12 may sell the 12 in its name to a corporate sponsor. There’d be a lot of support if  they go with the company “Five Below”. You know, because everyone loves the number 7.

6/19/2024

Meleek Thomas is skipping college and joined “Overtime Elite” for name  recognition. Really? I’m not sure I could  name anyone on those teams. Then again, these days I’m not sure I could name anyone on any college team.

6/16/2024

UConn’s Dan Hurley passed on $70 million from the Lakers. Wow. Yeah, I know you have to figure in the cost of living in LA. But from what I’ve seen, you can live in that city without a home.

6/12/2024

Creighton just named its basketball facility after Coach McDermott. This has led to much positive feedback. As well as to inquires asking when Coach McDermott died.

6/8/2024

The SEC’s commissioner says D1 can operate together. By together he means the SEC with everyone else, separate.

6/5/2024

Arkansas’ John Calipari said he's altering his "winning formula.” This has led every UK fan to ask, “Now?!”

6/1/2024

The Power 5 has agreed to start paying its players. And if you are looking for the humor, it’s with the word “start”.

5/29/2024

Question 1: How is Chris Jans making $4.2 million next year? Question 2: Who the hell is Chris Jans?

5/25/2024

The NCAA said non-Power 5 conferences will have to pay $1.7 billion over 10 years as part of its settlement with players. Some say that's kind. But wouldn’t a quick kill be kinder?

5/22/2024

UW-Green Bay shocked ESPN by hiring CBS talk show host Doug Gottlieb as its new coach. ESPN couldn’t believe that yet another coaching position did not go to Bill Belichick.

5/19/2024 

Calipari thinks going with just 8 players next season might give him an advantage. I agree.

Most teams go with just 5.

5/16/2024

The only relevant and humorous news about college hoops in mid-May might just be that I’m

trying to find something relevant and humorous about college hoops in mid-May.

5/12/2024

Nebraska’s Rienk Mast hopes surgery “will get my knee healthy for the rest of my playing career.” So what if surgery ends his playing career? Apparently: Mission Accomplished.

5/9/2024

Athletes are suing the NCAA for $4billion. My initial reaction was that might be too much. Then again, I initially thought that was $4billion per athlete.

5/5/2024

A top 10 recruit just committed to UConn. Though with all of the transferring, “committed” seems too strong. Maybe they should go with “married.”

5/2/2024

Iowa athletes now claim an illegal search of their cell phones was the only reason they were caught gambling. They hope this restores their reputations. Because there is nothing America loves more than a sore loser. 

4/29/2024

SEC’s commissioner denied plans to create a massive, super league. Makes sense. He already runs a massive super league.

4/26/2024

Good News for Duke Haters: Only 2 players are returning. Bad News for Duke Haters:

They are the preseason #1.

4/22/2024

ESPN Headline: "Auburn’s Johni Broome Returning.” And there you have it. It’s now news when someone doesn’t transfer.

4/18/2024

Calipari is leaving Kentucky for Arkansas. Really? Arkansas? That’s like the Pope leaving the  Vatican for, well, Arkansas.

4/12/2024

The AAC may hire the president of famed prep school IMG. That works. You know, because the AAC is essentially a prep school for the Power5. 

4/8/2024

The completion of the NCAA Tournament leaves us with a question: Who can honestly say 

they really missed Greg Gumbel?

4/4/2024

Two weeks ago I loved my bracket. Now it looks like my face after a really bad shave.

4/1/2024

Andy Enfield would not have agreed to coach SMU if the school hadn’t left the AAC for the ACC. Makes sense. Why lose to Rice and Tulsa when you can lose to Duke and UNC? 

3/29/2024

NC State made the Final4 for the first time in 41 years. Great, but they need to try to stay in the present. I mean, say you have sex for the first time in 41 years. Great, but it’s going to be hard not to get depressed thinking about the next 41 years.

3/25/2024

Minnesota State’s Women’s team won the D2 title on Friday. Then their men’s team won it on Saturday. ESPN would have given this significant coverage if either team had Caitlin Clark.

3/22/2024

Iowa’s Caitlin Clark is struggling over $76K to play in the WNBA, or $5Milion to play in The BIG3 League. For Iowa’s sake, here’s hoping Caitlin isn’t an Economics major.

3/18/2024

ESPN is clearly not covering the men’s and women’s tournaments equally. And yet they’ve received no complaints from women.

3/15/2024

Me: “TruTV!”

Voice Remote: MTV

Me: “No! TruTV!!”

Voice Remote: No Country For Old Men

Me: "Go to TruTv!”

Voice Remote: Go Away

3/11/2024

My wife got me a t-shirt that says “Bracketologist.” - because she couldn’t find one that says, “Super Mega Dork.”

3/7/2024

People can’t understand why McNeese State, with a mere 3 losses isn’t getting more respect. Well, maybe it’s not the losses but their wins - like the one on 12/5 over Mississippi University for Women.

3/4/2024

The NCAA Tournament will have Morehead and Longwood. So I guess it just needs a copier repair man, and a promiscuous secretary.

2/27/2024

Dartmouth’s men’s team has decided to join a local union. The only negative they could 

foresee is a need to associate with locals.

2/24/2024

The PAC-12’s new commissioner said she is considering all options. Like - Oregon St could play at Washington St. And - Washington St. could play at Oregon St.  And - that’s pretty much it. 

2/20/2024

Texas players became irate when Texas Tech fans threw water bottles at them. Understandable. They’d much rather have beer.

2/17/2024

LSU got fined $100K for allowing fans to storm the court after beating Kentucky. Well, let’s hope they learn their lesson not to ever storm the court, unless you beat a good team.

2/13/2024

ESPN reported, “At the Texas A&M Commerce and Incarnate Word game,  a brawl broke out." Yet nobody knows about it. That’s probably because people lost interest after reading, "At the Texas A&M Commerce and Incarnate Word game.”

2/9/2024

Despite having the best record, Grand Canyon is not even close to being ranked #1. Wow. I guess everyone now agrees that Bryce Canyon is better.

2/6/2024

Trump has a new line of basketball sneakers. Though they really aren’t for playing hoops. They’re really for attorneys fees.

2/2/2024

FDU’s team got stuck in an elevator. Yes, the whole team. They then got a text from Ringling Bros. clowns stating  “Boy do we have a car for you.”

1/30/2024//

Ohio State's recently fired coach will get $12.8 million to do nothing. Awesome. I mean, he now has an answer when his wife asks, “How can you just sit around doing nothing?”

1/26/2024

On Saturday Purdue’s 7’ 4” Tyus Edney defied expectations and swished a 3 point shot. Great. Now maybe he’ll actually meet expectations and slam a 3 point shot.

1/23/2024

Baylor’s AD received a $25K fine for calling refs an “embarrassment.”  While a drunk fan received a round of applause for yelling, “Bend over and look at it with your good eye.”

1/19/2024

The BIG10 and SEC formed an advisory board to assess the problems with college sports. Did they really need an advisory board? Or just a mirror?

1/16/2024

Old Dominion’s Vasean Allette has been dismissed from the team for “conduct unbecoming of a Monarch.” Good for him, said Prince Harry.

1/12/2024

The SEC announced the fine for storming the court will go up to $250,000. Friggin inflation.

1/9/2024

People say Texas’s coach overreacted by telling UCF players not to jump around with “horns down.” Well I guess it’s all fun and games to those people, until someone gores himself.

1/5/2024

After making 2 late game free throws, an NC State player gave the foul line the middle

finger. Though her later apologized, he never divulged. what the foul line said to him.

1/2/2024

Rick Pitino has COVID. And this has been a public service announcement for all NYC

hookers.

12/30/2023

ESPN headline: "UConn #1  For 1st Time Since 2009.” Though I kind of remember a  championship in 2011. And  2014. And 2023.

12/27/2023

When I saw that #1 Purdue and #2 Houston both lost on Tuesday I thought, "No way. That’s not even possible.” Then I realized they weren’t playing each other.

12/23/2023

The NCAA just signed an 8-year, $920 million contact with ESPN. In wholly unrelated news, 

the NCAA will be paying its student-athletes nothing.

12/20/2023

The NCAA just signed an 8-year, $920 million contact with ESPN. In wholly unrelated news, 

the NCAA will be paying its student-athletes nothing.

12/16/2023

Baylor made headlines for spending $212 million on a new basketball arena. Yet

no news about any spending on a new library.

12/13/2023

Officials at Illinois said they were surprised that its star player had been charged with 

rape. I guess that’s good. I mean, imagine if they weren’t.

12/9/2023

Louisville has assured Kenny Payne that he "will serve as head coach as

we move into the new year.” This has to be comforting for Coach Payne. Well, until after the new year.

12/6/2023

Florida State is suing the ACC because they believe the exit fee is too high. Apparently

they are unfamiliar with attorneys fees.

12/2/2023

Wash St and Oregon St temporarily joined the WCC as they continue to wait for the return of the PAC12. They also continue to wait for the return of the Great Pumpkin and Santa Claus.

11/30/2023

Clingan led UConn past Gonzaga. But it should be noted that the Zags were without Captain Kirk and Spock.

11/26/2023

Dear Dad - Congrats on all those MVPs and championships. But let me know when you hit the court a mere 5 months after having a heart attack. - Bronny.

11/23/2023

Last week a player on Purdue-Fort Wayne blocked a shot while holding his shoe. Unclear if credit goes to the shoe’s size or to its odor.

11/19/2023

A replay showed TCU made its last second shot to beat Georgetown while out of bounds. But a ludicrous rule forbids refs from using replay in that situation. Unfortunately there’s no replay of when that rule was created.

11/17/2023

Delaware has joined Conference-USA. Well, now I can no longer say that I can’t name one team in Conference-USA.

11/15/2023

John Wooden will be on a new stamp. Unfortunately, this means nothing to those under 18. Someone really needs to teach them what a stamp is.

11/13/2023

La Salle’s coach, Fran Dunphy just tallied his 600th win. He thinks that number should be higher. But unfortunately he’s never had any wins vacated.

11/11/2023

I was stunned when I heard late Monday night that Michigan St. lost to James Madison. Wow. Tom Izzo’s screams are really loud.

11/7/2023

LSU’s coach has refused to play Angel Reese in the last 2 games. Well, at least Angel hasn’t had to pretend that people can’t see her.

11/5/2023

College basketball season started last night. And in related news, a tree fell in the woods and nobody heard it.

11/2/2023

A judge ruled that Oregon St and Washington St deserve control of the Pac12. No word on who deserves responsibility. 

10/31/2023

Marquette’s Tyler Kolek is receiving much care after stepping on another player’s foot Friday night. This contrasts sharply with the reaction I receive every time I step on my wife’s feet.

10/27/2023

Arizona now fears its athletic department will lose money with its move to the BIG12. I guess 

someone finally figured out the cost of flights from Tucson to W.V. 

10/24/2023

K-State’s Nae'Qwan Tomlin has been suspended for fighting at Tubby’s Sports Bar. I guess 

someone must have mistaken him for the owner.

10/20/2023

The NIT has made big changes which have left most college hoops fans wondering the same thing: Who cares? 

10/17/2023

KU’s coach explained how his reputation was hurt by the NCAA’s investigation. He opted not to explain how his reputation was hurt by his actions.

10/13/2023

Houston's coach referred to the Big 12 as “a tough dog park - no Chihuahuas.” Everyone seems to agree, except Taco Bell. 

10/10/2023

Kentucky just had its pro day on Wednesday. But they may need to do so more often if they want to have enough players to scrimmage.

10/6/2023

KU signed top prospect Rakease Passmore, but I foresee problems. Like what happens when he’s told to pass more? “Pass more!” “What?” “Pass more!” What?!”

10/3/2023

Kansas will not receive a post-season ban for its violations. The NCAA found that it could not justify such a sanction, financially.

9/30/2023

Dartmouth argues that their players are not employees. Seems like they’d be better off arguing that their players are not players.

9/27/2023

The NCAA shrunk the window for athletes to enter the portal. And now the NCAA better brace for allegations of body shaming.

9/23/2023

Apparently the NCAA doesn’t think that U of Nevada playing its games in a casino would be a bad look. Huh. Wonder what it thinks about half time performances by strippers.

9/19/2023

More Iowa athletes than expected have pled guilty to gambling. That’s disappointing. You know, because I had the under.

9/16/2023

Duke just just signed its 3rd player ranked in the top 50. And this has been a public service announcement for those in need of another reason to hate Duke.

9/12/2023

Dartmouth players are seeking to unionize then possibly strike. That would cause a massive impact on college basketball if it was 1944. 

9/9/2023

KU suspended Arterio Morris for alleged sexual assault. Fans are elated. Why? The team now only needs to suspend 2 more to meet its annual quota. 

9/5/2023

Sasa Ciani of Slovenia has signed with Xavier. He’ll eventually learn that the school goes by X. And not Twitter.

9/2/2023

Oregon St and Wash St filed suit to take control of the Pac-12’s future. The Pac-12 filed a response of: “Wait, we have a future?”

8/30/2023

The ACC considered adding Washington St. But I guess the Catholic schools had a problem being associated with the Wazzu.

8/27/2023

I’m hoping Washington St and Oregon St. keep the Pac 12 together. Why? It would be great to see the entire season, as well as the conference championship, take place on one day.

8/24/2023

UK’s John Calipari says the transfer portal in college is just like “one and done” to the NBA. And I’m sure all of his players who had to transfer to low mid-majors would agree. 

8/20/2023

The woman who wrongly accused Georgia Tech’s coach of having sex with her received a 1-year sentence. Maybe she’s just confused as to what sex is. Well, that will change in prison.

8/17/2023

Loyola-Chicago’s Sister Jean just turned 104. I’d love to see the team score 104 points in a game for her. Then Sister Jean could definitely assert that hell has frozen over.

8/14/2023

KU and Illinois are getting permission from the NCAA and securing the State Farm 

Center for an exhibition game with proceeds going to Maui. They apparently found this  easier than learning how to use Venmo.

8/10/2023

The Big12 has rejected college hoops powerhouse Gonzaga, and current NCAA Tourney champ UConn. In other news, the NCAA has changed its college basketball logo to a second fiddle. 

8/7/2023

Flory Bidunga has signed with Kansas as a top-ranked center. But something tells me that 

Bidunga stinks in the middle.

8/3/2023

Cal and Stanford may join the Atlantic Coast Conference. This should ally all fears of coastal  erosion.

7/30/2023

So there’s a new a conference. It’s called the Pac-12 Divided By 3.

7/27/2023

While at Iowa, Ahron Ulis allegedly placed 1,850 wagers with FanDuel. Big mistake. Should have used a bookie.

7/25/2023

ACC’s commissioner labeled the conference “strong”. And yeah, I double checked. He

was actually talking about the ACC, and not the SEC.

7/23/2023

Last week, the PAC-12 said its teams were committed. Yesterday Colorado left. And yet

we wonder why the younger generation doesn’t understand the meaning of commitment.

7/20/2023

After a year long debate, the Colonial Athletic Association decided to change Colonial to Costal. And the reviews are in: Nobody cares.

7/18/2023

ACC: Hey CW Network, would you like to televise our games?

CW: Are you kidding? We televise LIV Golf. We’ll take anyone.

7/16/2023

The PAC-12 is desperately seeking a network to air its games. So I guess not even the PAC-12 realizes there is a PAC-12 Network.

7/14/2023

Tom Izzo just labeled a possible expanded NCAA tournament “watered down.” He might be right. I mean, have you ever heard someone refer to the NIT as “neat”?

7/11/2023

WV's coach  claims that after his drunk driving arrest he never resigned. He instead asserts it was his wife who submitted the resignation notice. Seems like he’s confusing resign with divorce.

July 7, 2023

New Mexico St. paid $8 million to settle a hazing lawsuit. Damn. If only I had let the big kids shove me in that locker.

July 4, 2023

San Diego St. has decided not to join the PAC-12. A decision made slightly easier by the fact that they were never invited.

June 30, 2023

The NCAA said it may cut the portal in half. That may prove problematic for Dr. Who.

June 27, 2023

A top prospect is going to play in Australia instead of for Gonzaga. Good to know. Now I 

can cross Australia off my list of possible places Gonzaga might  be located.

June 23, 2023

In last night’s NBA Draft, no team picked a senior until #18. Well, that fits with the NCAA’s motto: “Stay in school, suckers."

June 20, 2023

WV fans were stunned that Bob Huggins was arrested with .21% blood alcohol content. They figured his blood would be 100% sausage.

June 15, 2023

3 Arkansas State players were charged with shoplifting. Their attorneys have a clever strategy. But I don’t think any of them could even win the Primary.

June 13. 2023

The NCAA has finally simplified the block/charge rule for refs. It’s now a mere 2 words: just guess.

June 9, 2023

The PAC12 thinks its getting a big TV contract. But who's going to tune in? They must be hoping that the band will be on the field again.

Jun 6, 2023

The Big12 commissioner said he's satisfied with the current members, and he has a plan for expansion. Well, at least he's honest about his lie.

June 2, 2023

Purdue's 7' 4" Zach Edey has withdrawn from the NBA Draft. The hope is that next year he'll finally have that growth spurt.

May 30, 2023

The ACC has decided that teams with success in the NCAA Tournament will get more money. So in other words, the ACC has decided that Boston College will never get a dime.

May 26, 2023

GW wanted a new and more "unifying" nickname. So it's going with Revolutionaries. Because nothing say unity like a violent overthrow of the government.

May 23, 2023

Two new stories (1) PAC12 reported record revenue, (2) PACE claimed in a lawsuit that it can't pay its players. Apparently I'm the only one who read both stories.

May 19, 2023

ESPN Headline: "Roach to Remain at Duke." And yet 40,000 high school students will apply there.

May 16, 2023

Jordan Dingle just transferred to St. John's. And yes, I did immediately check their roster to unfortunately learn they don't have a guy named Berry.

May 12, 2023

LeBron James' son is going to USC. This makes not sense to many college coaches. And Lori Laughlin.

May 9, 2023

The NCAA's men's basketball "Academic Progress Report" dropped 2 points. The NCAA plans to fix that be eliminating the word "Progress."

May 5, 2023

I don't understand Facebook. I posted that I'm ok with all of the transfers. And now I see nothing but ads for Bud Light.

May 2, 2023

New B1G commissioner, Tony Petitti was accused of sexual harassment. But turns out he was just explaining how to pronounce his last name.

April 28, 2023

Alabama has refused to sign a player after an arrest for marijuana. Wow. Imagine what that school would do to a player who was an accessory to murder.

April 25, 2023

With players accused of homicide and sexual assault, New Mexico St.'s AD received a 5 year sentence. Wait, I meant a 5 year extension. Sorry, I must've been thinking logically.

April 21, 2023

Next year the NBA is making its draft combine mandatory - until somebody good says no.

April 18, 2023

People were surprised that a Memphis recruit has been changed with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. I guess they figured he'd be an Alabama recruit.

April 14, 2023

ESPN Headline: "Duke's Fillipowski Stays." Geesh, I didn't know staying is news. Wait till dogs find out.

April 11, 2023

Experts already have their Final 4 picks for next season. Though after this season they should be open to some revisions, like calling themselves experts.

April 7, 2023

I'd very much like to clarify one thing: The Masters is "a" tournament. It is not "The Tournament."

April 4, 2023

Mot people say they don't want the Tournament to expand, though most people aren't asked this the day after the Tournament ends.

March 31, 2023

The gambling industry has a new code: Never should a sportsbook partner with colleges. I knid of liked th old code: Never count your money while your sitting at the table. There'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done.

March 28, 2023

New Mexico State just had a pep rally to introduce its new coach, Jason Hooten, But many of the male students were disappointed that Coach Hooten wasn't accompanied by waitresses.

March 24, 2023

Georgetown's new coach says he's going to try to move the program forward. So he's taking the easy path. I mean, wouldn't it be so much harder to move that program backward?

March 21, 2023

Princeton's in the Sweet 16. Wow. Imagine what that will do for the school's name recognition.

March 17, 2023

Net year my bracket name will be Stupid Criminal. Why? Because they are quickly busted.

March 14. 2023

St. John's fans are excited that Rick Pitino might be coming. Almost as excited as NYC hookers.

March 10, 2023

I think we can all agree on one thing: Sunday should never be referred to as Oscars Night. Merry Selection Sunday to all. And to all a good Tournament.

Mary 7, 2023

ESPN Headline: "SEMO in the Tournament." Great. But /i'd rather see Larry or Curly.

March 3,2023

The folks who run the Holiday Bowl are currently promoting their new Thanksgiving college hoops tournament. But I kind of think people might now be focused on another tournament.

February 28, 2023

Down by 10 with 40 seconds left, Iowa somehow beat Michigan State. And somehow Tom Izzo's head did not explode.

February 24, 2023

Alabama's Brandon Miller provided a gun in a fatal shooting. The Tuscaloosa Police can't think of anything he did wrong. Which makes that sentence 5 words too long.

February 21, 2023

UCLA's coach found the NCAA's recent Top 16 "comical" and actually had to try not to laugh. Geesh. All this time I thought the way to go was jokes.

February 17, 2023

Strangulation charges against former Texas coach Chris Beard were dropped due ot lack of evidence. The victim had no comment. Seems like that would be evidence.

February 14, 2023

Refs made a bad call against Duke at the end of their game against UVA. In their defense, there's a first time for everything.

February 10, 2023

After being heckled, EIU's Kinyon Hodges took a shot at a fan and missed. People where shocked. Not sure why. He hits less than 50% of his shots.

February 7, 2023

Duke and FSU's women's teams played with a man's ball last week. No word on what they did with the other one.

February 3, 2023

Iowa cancelled the purchase of 200 tickets by Illinois fans for Saturday's game. Crafty. Though if the strategy is to cancel something, why not go with Illinois' flight?

January 31, 2023

During a game, Duquesne because furious when an Uber Eats guy walked on the court. But I'm pretty sure he coudl have been called for traveling.

January 27, 2023

There's a great article on ESPN entitled "Slef Skid" about Bill Self's Jayhawks. And not a word about Bill Self's underwear.

January 24, 2023

After being upset by Temple, Houston's coach said they "had a bad day." No word on whether their blue sky's faded to gray or their passion's gone away.

January 20, 2023

Nebraska's Juan Gary went straight to the locker room when he got injured. His coach said he was playing his best basketball when he got hurt. Geesh. How bas was he before that.

January 17, 2003

An Alabama player has been arrested for murder. How can that happen? - asked everyone except Baylor.

January 13, 2023

A UK fan held a sign intended for Coach Cal that read, "Please go to Texas." The sign could have read, "Please go to Hell." Bu tthe Coach cal would just end up back at UK.

January 10, 2023

5 players on Chicago's Concordia U were hospitalized after a brutla practice. The city now has a new marketing campaign: "Come walk our streets, they are even safer than our gyms."

January 6, 2023

Texas A&M showed up to thier game without their jerseys on. They can't understand why the got charged with a technical. Whereas I can't understand why they weren't charged with indecent exposure.

January 3, 2023

NC State suspended its radio broadcaster. This has led students across campus to ask, "What'a a radio?"

December 30, 2022

UTEP's coach and 3 Pitt football players got stranded at the Dallas airport. So the opted to go 600 miles in a rental car together. Unclear if they were accompanied by Dell Griffith.

December 27, 2022

I was making fun of the teams at the Diamond Head Classic and their meager crowds. But then I realized they were in Hawaii. And I was in a blizzard.

December 23, 2022

I always wanted UConn to get a player named Cornelius - the call him UConn Cornelius. And after slamming over someone he'd look dowan and say, "That's a humble Bumble."

December 20, 2022

The NCAA has decided not to sanction Sean Miller for infractions at Arizona. Phew - said Bill Self.

December 16, 2022

USC might have to consider basketball and football players employees. As for other athletes, USC will still be able to consider them irrelevant.

December 13, 2022

On advice of counsel, Texas coach Chris Beard has denied that he bit a woman. Though he may need better counsel than Marv Albert.

December 9, 2022

ESPN reported that outgoing NCAA president, Mark Emmert, had advice for his replacement: "Have patience." I believe the full quote was, "Have patience with those who inexplicably expect fairness."

December 6, 2022

Nebraska knocked off #7 Creighton Sunday. Seems like a big deal. Yet ESPN found something bigger:announcing the participants in the Cheez-It Bowl.

December 2, 2022

After an 0-7 start, Louisville's coach asked his players if they had given up. They said no. He then asked the fans. They could not be found.

November 29, 2022

Alabama beat UNC in an amazing 4 overtimes. Equally amazing" I convinced my wife 4 separate times that the game was almost over.

November 25, 2022

This Thanksgiving my family did not call me Un-American for wanting to watch basketball instead of football. Lucky for me, someone tried to watch the World Cup.

November 22, 2022

A former UAlbany player is suing the coach for saying negative things about him. This has led to panic amongst all of my former coaches.

November 18, 2022

Hoping the NCAA will "share" revenue, players are writing an S on their hands. Isn't S also the first letter of suckers?

November 15, 2022

After beating Villanova, Temple fans stormed the court two times. The PA announcer prevent a third by explaining that they were only getting one win.

November 11, 2022

Georgetown celebrated the end of its 21 game losing streak. Good for them. Because 22 losses in a row would have been embarrassing.

November 8, 2022

College basketball season began last night. Which means in about 3 weeks, everyone will be asking, "When does college basketball season begin?"

November 4, 2022

"Gonzaga moving to the Big East makes a lot sense," said only Creighton.

November 1, 2022

Jim Nantz will be calling his last Final Four this year. He'll be sorely missed by all those who need to know when The Masters is.

October 28, 2022

PAC12's Commish says fans of USC and UCLA aren't hppy to be going to the Big10. Wonder how they'll feel in a couple years. You know, when the PAC12 is gone.

October 25, 2022

Many coaches think they'd have less pressure if the NCAA tournament expanded to 128 teams. Well, imagine the pressure on a coach who doesn't make a 128 team NCAA tournament.

October 21, 2022

A lot of people are disputing UNC's #1 ranking going into the season, but I'm ok with it. I mean, they are undefeated.

October 18, 2022

The AP just came out with its preseason poll. Seems like there's something that could make that preseason poll more accurate. You know, like a preseason.

October 14, 2022

After last year's altercation with Wisconsin's coach, Michigan's Juan Howard said he's ready to "move forward." He did not say whether he'd do so with a left or a right uppercut.

October 11, 2022

Players are getting hundreds of thousands of dollars in name, image and likeness compensation. Yet why do I keep reading they are getting NIL?

October 7, 2022

A USC player says he "feels great" after having a heart attack. In related news men who hope to feel great are now eating more bacon.

October 4, 2022

Teams in the IVY League may have to start offering scholarships. Well, there goes their excuse for sucking.

September 30, 2022

The NCAA placed Memphis on 3 years probation. Why? Because the NCAA didn't think they deserved the severity of a slap on the wrist.

September 27, 2022

ESPN headline: "Eastern Michigan's Emoni Bates arrested on gun charges." This has led sports fans across the nation to ask: Why do we care about Eastern Michigan's Emoni Bates?

September 23, 2022

PAC12 says its remaining teams have decided to stick together. A decision made slightly easier by the fact that no other conference wants those teams.

September 20, 2022

People think that Bronny James is destined for basketball greatness. Wheras I thnk he's missing his calling as a spokesman for paper towels.

September 16, 2022

Duke Signed TJ Power, its first non-5 star player this year. Recruiting services consider him a 4-star. So Duke fans consider him a scrub.

September 13, 2022

The BIG12 announced it's eyeing schools "out West." This led to optimism at Memphis by all those without a map.

September 9, 2022

A strange woman was arrested outside of John Calipari's home. Apparently she didn't realize that Kentucky's coach is no longer Rick Pitino.

September 6, 2022

The NCAA is continuing to speed up its findings of rules violations. That's fine with KU and LSU. You know, as long as those findings of rules violations continue to not be enforced.

September 2, 2022

The NCAA's new head official will make "call accuracy" the focus. Which begs the question: How could there possibly be any other focus?

August 30, 2022

Chicago has just named a train stop after Sister Jean. The city apparently is still waiting for sufficient accomplishments to bestow the honor on Michale Jordan.

August 26, 2022

ABC will air the NCAA Women's Finals this season. It's touting that as a major advancement in respect for women. It will also air the 19th season of the Bachelorette.

August 23, 2022

I think Coach Cal's statement that UK is not a football school is being misinterpreted. I means someone should probably tell Oklahoma St. that there isn't an opening in the SEC.

August 19, 2022

The PAC12 announced it will pay refs of men's and women's games equally in 2023. I beleive them. I also believe the PAC12 will not exist in 2023.

August 16, 2022

This season the NIT is moving from NYC to Vegas, then to Indy next season. It will cease moving once it finds a city matching its level of relevance.

August 12, 2022

The Big10 just completely cut ESPN from its TV deal And just what just got completely cut from SportsCenter.

August 9, 2022

ESPN just reported on its college basketball page that the TBT champs got $1 million. Why is the considered college hoops news? $1 million is now nothing for a college player.

August 5, 2022

The NCAA is considering allowing players unlimited transfers. So clearly the NCAA;s main goal is to kill Dick Vitale.

August 2, 2022

After snagging part of the Big10's billion dollar TV deal, UCLA got $67.5 million from Under Armour. Much of this may go to new dorms. In other LA news, 70,000 people can't afford a box to live in.

July 29, 2022

The Big10 said it might expand beyond USC and UCLA. This begs the question: Does the Big10 know that beyond USC and UCLA is the ocean?

July 26, 2022

The NCAA has proudly announced that it addressed 9 of its 23 gender disparity issues. And in other news, students who score 9 out of 23 on ther exams lose their NCAA eligibility.

July 22, 2022

California's governor demanded UCLA explain why it left the PAC12. UCLA is drafting a response. But so far it hasn't gotten past the first word: Money.

July 19, 2022

After decommitting from UNC, G.G. Jackson thanked God for giving him his talents. It seems as though God has yet to give him the definition of commitment.

July 15, 2022

Despite numerous fiascos, ESPN is again trying to pull off a game on an aircraft carrier. It's scheduled for November 7th. No word yet on when it will be rescheduled.

July 12, 2022

Last night my wife actually said she'd like to see more realignment. You know, now that I put that in context, I'm less sure she was referring to conferences.

July 8, 2022

EMU is quite excited after signing a former # prospect. Unclear how Doug feels.

July 5, 2022

The PAC12 is now looking to add 2 more teams. Well, I'd say there are a couple teams that seem like perfect fits: USC and UCLA.

July 1, 2022

The Big 12 stunningly hired Jay-Z's COO. Though I'm pretty sure I can think of someone else connected to Jy-Z that would have been even more stunning.

June 28, 2022

Notre Dame has jsut decided to include women, as well as men, in its fight song. And there you have the first ever fight sone that upsets those who are sexist and those who are non-binary.

June 24, 2022

Shaq said his son, Shareef, needed to stay in school. Shareef disagreed and said, "We ain't talked about this." There may be evidence that Shaq was right.

June 21, 2022

Davidson is inducting Steph Curry into its hall of fame August 31. That would make more sense if August 31 was also the date that Davidson was creating its hall of fame.

June 17, 2022

GW is scrapping its Colonials nickname because it doesn't "unify." Evidently they're going with that reason instead of admitting the truth: the nickname sucks.

June 14, 2022

Arizona just gave Lloyd a big raise after only one good season of head coaching. Apparently they've forgotten all he did in Dumb & Dumber.

June 10, 2022

Top prospect Baba Miller has committed to Florida State. But no decision yet from the black sheep.

June 7, 2022

The Big12 says it made a whopping $426 million last year. Someone might want to check their math. I mean for the past 10 years this conference has been unable to count to twelve.

June 3, 2022

I love that ESPN continually notes all the transfers committing to new schools. I also love seeing the words transfer and commitment in the same sentence.

May 31, 2022

To secure its #1 recruit, Louisville hird the player's grandfaterh. If you think that feels a bit unfair, just imagine how his other grandfather feels.

May 27, 2022

Michigan coach, Juwan Howard, turned down the Lakers. LA fans say it was a slao in the face. But evidence shows it was just a little wach to the back of the head.

May 24, 2022

Syracuse fans seem ok with the Carrier Dome becoming the JMA Wireless Dome. Well, until the day they don't have cell service.

May 20, 2022

The coach of Ohio State's women's team receives a salary that is 1/3 that of the men's coach. Yikes. Well, maybe it's not too late for her to take up soccer.

May 17, 2022

Stephen Curry just graduate from Davidson. I wonder what kind of career he'll have.

May 13, 2022

They cast Ray Romano to play Jimmy V. I can see it. Though they'll have to change "Don't give up. Don't ever give up." to "That won't work. That will never work."

May 10, 2022

The PAC12 commissioner contacted Congress about player compensation issues, hopin for "productive conversations." Because when you want productivity what better place to turn than Congress.

May 6, 2022

Rutgers is naming its court after legendary coach C. Vivian Stringer. Quite an honor. Or a ploy to cash in by just using her initials.

May 3, 2022

U of Miami basketball player, Isaiah Wong, wants a compensation deal that better reflects his importance. Well, he might want to better display his importance. Like by becoming a football player.

April 29, 2022

Texas Tech gave its coach a $1 million raise instead of buying more books for its library. Smart decision. There's a much smaller chance the coach will get banned.

April 26, 2022

A lot of coaches are complaining about all of the transfers. And what about the other coaches? They are winning.

April 22, 2022

Villanova's Jay Wright is retiring at age 60. Wow, that's quite young. I mean that's like 25 in Boeheim years.

April 19, 2022

Duke's players got Coach K a puppy. He seems to love it. But how's he going to feel in about a year when it decides to go pro?

April 15, 2022

After making the Elite 8, St. Peter's players and coaches have decided to better their careers by leaving. Where to? To teams that cam nowhere near the Elite 8.

April 12, 2022

Five of the top high school players have achieved their dream of going to Duke. Now on to the next dream - leaving as soon as possible.

April 8, 2022

Most colleges have not implemented a new NCAA ploicy allowing them to pay players for good grades. That's going to take time. Most colleges are still used to paying other people for players' good grades.

April 5, 2022

The world has clearly turned upside down. Duke got knocked out of the Final 4. And yet sport fans across the country were sad.

April 1, 2022

Duke and UNC will face each other in the Final 4 for the first time ever. According to ESPN, the begs the question, "What does that have to do with the NFL Draft?"

March 29, 2022

Let me see if I have this right. The biggest beating during March Madness was taken by Chris Rock?

March 26, 2022

Place: Gates of Heaven

Time: Shortly after my death.

St. Peter: "So Dave, did you really think I wasn't going to bring up your 2022 bracket?"

Mach 25, 2022

The NCAA is being praised for using "March Madness" for the women. Yet I get in trouble every time I use "crazy" for my wife.

March 18, 2022

Studies show that during March Madness billions of dollars are lost due to low productivity. Well, i have an easy fix. Just broaden the definition of productivity.

March 15, 2022

ESPN's "Bracketology" special was a bit confusing. Were they picking Gonzaga to win it all? Or Tom Brady?

March 11, 2022

Michigan's Juwan Howard said he has taken full ownership with respect to the punch he threw 2 weeks ago. Well finally. I mean it seems like he deserved full ownership immediately after he paid $40,000 for it.

March 8, 2022

Chattanooga beat Furman on what they are calling a miraculous last second shot. I'm guessing "they" doesn't include Furman.

March 4, 2022

People are paying thousands to see Coach K's last game in Cameron. I wonder if these people will be disappointed whne they see that all Coach K does is coach.

March 1, 2022

All of the top 6 teams lost on Saturday. So what do I do with this information? Probably just tear my brackets up now.

February 25, 2022

After being relentlessly pursued by Conference USA, Marshall has actually obtained a restraining order. I'm actually hoping C-USA keeps it up because I'd love to see an entire conference arrested for stalking.

February 22, 2022

Michigan's coach should be embarrassed for slapping a Wisconsin coach. I mean the only way it could've been more embarassing is if there was hair pulling.

February 18, 2022

ESPN will be featuring 4 tournaments in honor of Nike's Phil Knight next season. They'd like some of his employees to say a few words. But that's a lot of pressure to put on 6 year olds.

February 15, 2022

With Tchamwa Tchatchoua now out for the season, most fans are questioning whether Baylor can still compete. Whereas I'm questioning why I spent so much time learning how to spell Tchamwa Tchatchoua.

February 11, 2022

The National College Players Association claims all D1 football and basketball players should be treated like employees. All all other athletes should be treated like crap.

February 8, 2022

To commemorate Coach K's last time in the Dean Dome, the folks at UNC decided to give him absolutely nothing. Not even a game.

February 4, 2022

The NCAA reported that last year it made $1.15 billion in gross revenue. I tried to coum ip with a clever way to describe that. But I couldn't do better than gross.

February 1, 2022

Auburn coach Bruce Pearl received a $50 million "lifetime" contract for 8 years. So is the correct response "congrats" or "deepest sympathies"?

January 28, 2022

The CBI postseason tournament announced it will be expanding to 16 teams. The reaction from all diehard college hoops fans was: "What the hell is the CBI?"

January 25, 2022

ASU coach Bobby Hurley can't understand why the fine for yelling at a ref is "$20K. My guess: inflation.

January 21, 2022

The NCAA seems worried about low interest in college hoops. But they think they have a solution: change the ball. You know, to one made of pigskin.

January 18, 2022

Maryland's assistant coach was charged with "soliciting prostitution or assignation." And yes, I had to look up what assignation means. Andno, it doesn't mean what you think.

January 14, 2022

Coach K missed Duke's game against Wake Forest due to a non-Covid virus. Wait. There's such a thing as a non-Covid -virus?

January 11, 2022

After 75 years, Murry State has moved conferences from the Ohio Valley to the Missouri Valley. Yup all valleys, no peaks. I think I have my new favorite team.

January 7, 2022

The Wooden Award voters just put 9 players on their watch list. Gee, one more and they could have watched a whole game.

January 24, 2022

This week's AP Top 25 has, once again, snubbed the most dominant force in college hoops: Omicron.

December 31, 2021

Surprisingly, Dick Vitale has agreed with his doctor's advice to rest his vocal cords. In other news, there is now a nationwide surplus of duct tape.

December 28, 2021

Just saw an awesome story titled: "Clemson Athletic Dept. To Promote Neff." Though that became slightly less awesome when I realized I mistook Neff for Nerf.

December 24, 2021

The NCAA is not giving losses to teams that don't have the ability to play. That rule would have really helped my career. I definitely did not have the ability to play.

December 21, 2021

Refs of women's and men's games will now get equal pay from the NCAA. No word on whether they'll also get equal pay from the bookies.

December 17, 2021

ESPN did a story on how U of Arizona took and Uber to Illinois after landing in Indy. So if you've ever taken a cab or an Uber after a flight, contact ESPN. You apparently have a story.

December 10, 2021

How do you know that someone isn't a college hoops fan? You ask them how they liked the Jimmy V Classic, and they think you're referring to a Wendy's burger.

December 7, 2021

When asked how it felt to have beaten the #3 team in the country on Saturday, 9 out of Alabama fans said, "What do you mean? Georgia was #1."

December 3, 2021

Proof that life isn't fair: So far 2 game I wanted to watch were cancelled due to COVID. Yet there've been no cancellations to my wife's Hallmark Xmas movies.

November 30, 2021

I keep hearing that Gonzaga's Chet Holmgren is a unicorn. But my daughter has a room filled with unicorns. Yet not one is 7'2" and skinny as hell.

November 26, 2021

Michigan State and Baylor made the finals of the Battle 4 Atlantis. No word on what happened to Aquaman.

November 23, 2021

Loyola-Chicago is joining the Atlantic 10. Note to Loyola-Chicago: that big body of water you overlook is Lake Michigan, not the Atlantic.

November 19, 2021

After Gonzaga's Drew Timme scores, he likes to flex his biceps, an act that might be a bit more intimidating once he actually develops biceps.

November 16, 2021

The NCAA has received threat after banning Ok State from the Tournament. And now Ok State has accomplished the impossible: it made me feel sorry for the NCAA.

November 12, 2021

You know that sound that a tree makes when it falls in the woods and nobody hears it? I think that's the same sound college basketball made to start its season.

November 9, 2021

When told that college basketball season starts today, 9 out of 10 sports fans responded, "What? Did I miss the Super Bowl?"

November 5, 2021

A bipartisan group from Congress labeled the NCAA;s enforcement procedures "inefficient." And who better to comment on efficiency than Congress?

November 2, 2021

Thanks to the new NCAA rule on compensation, a player on Kentucy got a free Porsche. When former players learned of this they said, "That's it?"

October 29, 2021

Conference USA may be down to 5 schools, but its commissioner says there's interest in joining from several institutions. I buy it. To join Conference USA now, you'd have to be in an institution.

October 26, 2021

UCLA coach Mick Cronin's horse won at Santa Anita. Just to be clear, he was the owner, not the jockey.

October 22, 2021

WV's Bob Huggins want the NCAA Tournament to only include "Power" conference teams. Why? Well, he must still think the Big12 is a "Power" conference.

October 19, 2021

The NCAA has proposed removing test score requirement for student-athletes. And next step: removing the student requirement for student-athletes.

October 15, 2021

Jett Howard said the decision to play for his dad at Michigan "was really hard." Well, until he realized he didn't want to be homeless.

October 12, 2021

The BIG 12 is allowing its schools to set athlete compensation - and whatever else they want as long as they don't leave.

October 8, 2021

The NCAA may have both the men's and women's Final 4 in one location. Because as we all learned these past 2 years - the bigger the crowd the better.

October 5, 2021

The Maui Invitational is moving to Las Vegas where the concerns about COVID are lower - and concerns about Herpes are ignored.

October 1, 2021

The assistant coach at St. John's claims he was fired because he could not do his job. Lawyers have advised St. John's to vehemently agree.

September 28, 2021

Only 42 days till college hoops season. Or if you're ESPN, only 212 days till the NFL Draft.

September 24, 2021

The AAC just lost 3 of its best teams. I think their problem is poor marketing. First step is to change that second A to a C.

September 21, 2021

The Knight Commission released a report titled, "C.A.R.E: Connecting Athletes Revenues With The Educational Model of College Sports." Yeah, you know you have a horrible title when its acronym is 6 letters too short.

September 17, 2021

Michigan's AD apologized to Chris Webber - according to ESPN.

Michigan's AD never apologized to Chris Webber - according to Michigan's lawyer.

September 14, 2021

A player on UCLA is creating his own crypto currency. Not sure what that is. But I'm just happy that someone is creating something other than a podcast.

September 10, 2021

Gonzaga's Coach Mark Few got arrested in Idaho for drunk driving. He does have a decent defense: He was in Idaho.

September 7, 2021

Louisville suspended its coach for failing to follow its extortion procedures. Geesh. what school is extorted so often it needs specific extortion procedures? Answer: Louisville.

September 3, 2021

The Seattle Seahawks just signed a former Baylor basketball player who never played football. Are you kidding me? - said Tim Tebow.

August 31, 2021

Kentucky will play against SWAC teams for the next 5 years in the "Unity Series." Yes, they're coming together for a common goal: providing Kentucky some easy wins.

August 27, 2021

The BIG10 said this season a forfeit will enter if a team can't play. So in other words, this season forfeit will mean forfeit.

August 24, 2021

84 people who attended Coach K's adult fantasy camp left with nausea and fatigue. Whereas those who attended Rick Pitino's adult fantasy camp left with syphilis.

August 20, 2021

Master P's son signed with Tennessee State. This could lead to the best back of a jersey ever. Well, assuming the kid's last name is P and 00 is his number.

August 17, 2021

Reports say the SEC scoffed at the alliance formed by the BIG10, PAC12 and ACC. But no word yet from Jeff Probst or Boston Rob.

August 13, 2021

Valparaiso changed its name from the Crusaders to the Beacons. Now if they just drop the "e" they'd have the best name in all of sports.

August 10, 2021

ESPN reported that the NCAA's accountability resolution process has not yet fully decided a single case. The news shocked everyone in the college sports world unfamiliar with the NCAA.

August 6, 2021

The remaining teams in the Big12 might combine with the PAC12 to form a "super-conference." But this may be contested by all those who understand the word super.

August 3, 2021

Ok State is furious with Oklahoma for accepting an invite by the SEC. I think I know how to get Ok State to calm down - get them an invite too.

July 30, 2021

Last night was the NBA Draft and Cade Cunningham went exactly where everyone though he'd go: to NIKE.

July 27, 2021

Oklahoma and Texas may join the SEC leaving the BIG12 with just 8 teams. Makes sense. Well, unless you can do math.

July 23, 2021

D2 conference, SIAC is requiring the vaccine. In response the SEC said, "Vaccine? What vaccine?"

July 20, 2021

NCAA President Mark Emmert believes that new laws may require him and his organization to do the "bare minimum." So in other words - same as usual.

July 15, 2021

A friend of GTech coach Josh Pastner falsely accused him of sexual assault. We no know for sure that Josh Pastner is the only person with a broader definition of friend than Facebook.

July 13, 2021

U of Hartford players argue that the school shouldn't drop to D3 because only $1 million will be saved. Geesh. Maybe we don't need to worry about student-athlete compensation if they can put the word "only" before $1 million.

July 9, 2021

All the headlines on ESPN's college hoops page are about players withdrawing from the NBA Draft. Wow, that's my dream: getting notoriety for doing nothing.

July 6, 2021

Memphis coach Penny Hardaway has decided not to pursue coaching the Orlando Magic. I guess that's because the Orlando Magic aren't eligible for the NIT.

July 2, 2021

The NCAA has just allowed athletes to receive compensation for endorsements. Hmm. Seems like there's one really wealthy organization that should immediately pay every athlete for an endorsement.

June 29, 2021

A secretly recorded Wisconsin team meeting is getting lots of paly by the press. "You've got to be kidding me" - said every struggling podcast.

June 25, 2021

The NCAA just slapped Creighton with a reduction of 1% of its budget. Because apparently a slpa on the wrist would have been too severe.

June 22, 2021

NCAA's Mark Emmert said he'd take action if colleges don't deal with athletes' compensation soon. Yeah, I was going to put a punchline here. but I can't top "Mark Emmert said he'd take action."

June 18, 2021

UConn coach Danny Hurley allegedly pressured the strength coach into committing violations. Doesn't make sense. What self respecting strength coach would admit to being pressured by Danny Hurley.

June 15, 2021

I saw a seemingly sad story entitled, "MSU's Appling Denied Ball." Then I saw it was actually, "MSU's Appling Denied Bail." And there you have a truly sad story: I need reading glasses.

June 11, 2021

Some in Congress don't think a law is needed for college players to get paid. They're right. But I'm pretty sure a law would be needed for players to get paid legally.

June 8, 2021

Louisville's assistant coach tried to extort $425K by threatening to reveal NCAA violations. Didn't work. Apparently Louisville realized that everyone already knew they're committing NCA violations.

June 4, 2021

Duke's Coach K is retiring after next season. Which seems odd given that his team retired last season.

June 1, 2021

College athletes may soon be able to unionize. That might work out best for players at the end of the bench. They could claim they're just having a sit-in.

May 28, 2021

I love that my wife tries to follow college hoops. But I wasn't thrilled when she asked if she could enter the transfer portal.

May 25, 2021

A high school junior, who had been ranked as the #7 recruit, just signed with the G-League. That's great news. Well, in the eyes of the guy who has been ranked #8.

May 21, 2021

Duke's investigation found no evidence of Money given to Zion Williamson. But records filed this week indicate the opposite. Seems like folks at Duke are capable of missing more than just the Tournament.

May 18, 2021

The PAC12 hired a top MGM Resorts exec as its new commissioner. Because nothing better displays amateurism than a connection with a billion dollar gambling corporation.

May 14, 2021

5-start recruit, Patrick Baldwin, Jr., chose Milwaukee over Duke. Wow. That's someone way too excited for his first beer.

May 11, 2021

Michael Jordan's UNC jersey just got $1.3 million at a sale. Wonder what a current UNC player would get for his jersey. I'm guessing a 10-15 game suspension.

May 7, 2021

Duquesne hired a "personal brand coach" to teach its players how to profit from social media. Apparently that's easier than teaching them how to score.

May 4, 2021

The NCAA claims it will address thee issue of compensating players asap. And yet it's lookng for a solution from Congress.

April 30, 2021

NCAA President Mark Emmert received a contract extension through 2025. Why? My guess: The NCAA believes he has maxed out the number of horrible decisions one can make in a lifetime.

April 27, 2021

Michael Foster, a top high school player, is skipping college to play in the G-League. The other top players will be skipping college to play in college.

April 23, 2021

One of the best college players just transferred to Maryland. Unfortunately, his name is Danny Manning.

April 20, 2021

Next season both of Jim Boeheim's sons will be playing for him at Syracuse. Seem like that might make it tough to justify those recruiting expenses.

April 16, 2021

After Indiana fired coach Archie Miller, his $10 million buyout was paid by "philanthropic" funding.' Just to be clear the word philanthropic was used by Indiana, not Archie Miller.

April 9, 2021

What I love most about the NCAA Tournament is that everyone agrees it's the best sporting event of the year - until the following weekend. (A tradition like no other.)

April 6, 2021

Now that Baylor has won the Tournament, the question we all have to ask is: Do I really feel like watching golf?

April 2, 2021

Shocking news that UNC's Roy Williams retired yesterday. I would have sworn he did so years ago.

March 30, 2021

Baylor's women's coach wants no Final4 COVID testing because a positive would keep a kid from playing. I feel like I've heard there are other ramifications of a positive test.

March 26, 2021

Loyola-Chicago's Sister Jean said she plans to dance when they make the Final 4. No word on whether those are also the plans of her boss.

March 23, 2021

I'm a bit bummed that the first two rounds of the Tournament are over. On the bright side, I can now once again foget the channel number for TruTv.

March 20, 2021

Dear God: If St. Bonaventure wins today I'll never ask for anything again. Well, at least until their next game.

March 19, 2021

Iowa retired Luka Garza's number last week. How long till Iowa realizes that Luke Garza still has more games to play?

March 12, 2021

Michigan State will now be referred to on campus as the "MSU Spartans Presented By Rocket Mortgage." And the punchline is - I'm serious.

March 9, 2021

ESPN Headline: "NIT Down To 16 Teams." You know it's a slow news day when a headline includes the letters NIT.

March 5, 2021

A new high school will pay each player at least $100K per year. There is a negtive : Each player will lose the chance to play 4 years in college for free.

March 2, 2021

Baylor Coach Scott Drew said his Kryptonite is COVID-19 protocols. While I think more than a few others would say theirs is COVID-19.

February 26, 2021

According to the AP, the Big West Conference will have no fans at its tournament. The Big West Conference then clarified that's because of COVID, and not because it has no fans.

February 23, 2021

The NCAA announced that IAPR will resolve Louisville's infractions cases. The only that's good news for Louisville is if IARP stands for Inexpensive and Reliable Prostitutes.

February 19, 2021

After a mere 5 months, Duke freshman Jalen Johnson left to prepare for the NBA Draft. Apparently he doesn't realize that to get the most from a Duke education you need to stay the full 6 months.

February 16, 2021

To avoid a charge of offensiveness, Valparaiso has decided to go with no nickname. But it now may face a lawsuit for trademark infringement by the Washington Football Team.

February 12, 2021

UNC players apologized for partying after their win over Duke. Apparently they forgot that beating Duke is no longer worthy of celebration.

February 9, 2021

After quarantining for over two weeks, Michigan will travel to Wisconsin on Valentine's Day. They're not sure what's next. Well, other than needing to find new girlfriends.

February 5, 2021

Nebraska coach Fred Hoiberg has had 2 heart surgeries and wears a pacemaker. During COVID related chest pains, he was just a "little" scared. Maybe it's time for someone to finally inform Fred of the function of the heart.

February 2, 2021

A ref tested positive for COVID after the UConn-Butler game. No word on how he's feeling. But I'm pretty sure I know how the fans are feeling who yelled, "Ref, you make me sick!"

January 26, 2021

After announcing it will miss the next 2 weeks, Michigan went up to #4 in the rankings. They'd still like to get to #1. Well, then skip the rest of the season.

January 22, 2021

The NCAA announced that the 2nd round of the Tournament will end on a Monday. Well, now we have yet another reason not to go to work.

January 19, 2021

ESPN Headline: "Duke Out of Top 25 First Time in 5 Years." And yet they're still not out of ESPN's headlines.

January 15, 2021

Texas Tech got its first ever win over a top 5 team in Texas' near empty arena. Seems like that should be accompanied by a red and grey molecular asterisk.

January 12, 2021

The NCAA is "preparing to delay" acting on athlete compensation. I may have to use that lingo with my wife. "Honey, I'm not doing nothing. I'm preparing to delay doing something."

January 8, 2021

A former Notre Dame assistant coach was charged with voyeurism. And Notre Dame is quite pleased. Now people have something to talk about other than the Rose. Bowl.

January 5, 2021

Villanova has not put its program on pause for the third time. Yikes. That's almost as much as I do during a movie to pee.

January 1, 2021

Some good news for the new year: Florida junior, Keyontae Johnson, who collapsed recently, is back on the team as a coach. The NCAA is elated. No, not due to the fear of a lawsuit. But because they now see that, much like players, coaches don't need to be paid.

December 29, 2020

Duke's women's team cancelled its season, but the men have not. Though from the looks of things. the men have yet to start.

December 24, 2020

Me: Wow. Do you realize that tomorrow Wisconsin plays Michigan State.

Wife: Wow. Do you realize that tomorrow is Christmas.

December 18, 2020

With games continually cancelled due to COVID, the NCAA ruled all transfers immediately eligible for "their well being." Uh, whose well being?

December 15, 2020

Coach Cal says UK's 1-4 strt will make them tougher. I'm not sure tougher is always better. If you disagree, I'll gladly provide you a serving of my wife's chicken.

December 11, 2020

Coach K suggested pauing the season for six weeks. Got to say that makes sense. Most experts agree that's how long it will take for his team to no longer stink.

December 8, 2020

The cancellation of the Gonzaga v. Baylor game was devastating. It wiped out my last reason for not having time to put up the Christmas lights.

December 4, 2020

With 5 players out due to COVID, Syracuse beat Niagara by 30. So thanks to Niagara, we now know there's something worse than COVID.

December 1, 2020

Arkansas beat Miss. Valley State 142-62. Though to be fair, we have yet to hear from the electors.

November 27, 2020

The AP has Gonzaga ranked #1. Well from what I've seen the top spot should really go to COVID-19.

November 20,, 2020

ESPN's top college basketball headline: Albany v. Marist Cancelled. Note to ESPN: there are times where there's no college basketball news.

November 17, 2020

Mississippi State is allowing fans at its basketball games. Don't knwo about you, but i'mnot dying to see Mississippi State.

November 13, 2020

When told that their schools cancelled basketball this season, 9 out of 10 Ivy League students said, "We have a basketball team?"

November 10, 2020

Arizona slashed $30 million from its athletic department. But it will not be cutting the salary of its players.

November 6, 2020

Did you hear about the big college basketball news today? Well, then you were the one person not watching the news.

November 3, 2020

Regardless, of tonight's results, there is one thing we can all be happy about: College basketball is all set to start in 3 weeks. Maybe.

October 30, 2020

Former Kansas player Silvio de Sousa assaulted an opponent with a chair, and remains the focus of an FBI investigation. He's now seeking direction for his future. Well which way is Leavenworth?

October 27, 2020

Me: Bad news, honey. 8 tournaments slated to take place between Thanksgiving and Christmas just got cancelled.

Wife: Good news, honey. We've got so much more time to watch Hallmark Christmas movies.

October 23, 2020

After 6 players tested positive for COVID, Toledo has decided to hit pause. Well, here's hoping they don't lose the remote.

October 20, 2020

I just read that Kofi Cockburn has returned to Illinois. Yikes. I think I'd rather have COVID.

October 16, 2020

Power 5 Conference leaders now want to split from D1 in all sports except basketball. Apparently "all sports except basketball" is their definition of football. Well, either that or I've severely underestimated their passion for fencing.

October 13, 2020

Bowling Green's Justin Turner claims that within 1 hour of entering the transfer portal, he took calls from 30 coaches. Hard to believe. I defy you to find me a teenager who knows how to us a phone to speak.

October 9, 2020

Wichita State may fire its coach for allegedly body-slamming a player. Though there is another solution: recruit bigger players.

October 6, 2020

One of the best recruits in the country just signed to play basketball for Alabama. How long till the kid realizes he was looking at the football rankings?

October 2, 2020

Most men were not surprised that Loyola-Maryland hired a woman as an assistant coach - until they read the word coach.

September 29, 2020

The entire University of Utah athletic department has been furloughed. Which I believe means they have all temporarily lost their jobs. Either that or they have all temporarily been released from prison.

September 25, 2020

According to ESPN: "British guard Hildreth commits to Wake Forest." I hope he gets to bring his long fuzzy black hat.

September 18, 2020

The NCAA's announcement that college basketball will start on November 25th shocked many - mostly those who thought the season doesn't start till March.

September 25, 2020

While in a pick-up game, a Univ of Buffalo player stabbed his opponent in the leg. He may have a self-defense claim: the other guy got within 6 feet.

September 11, 2020

I love the ACC's idea of letting every team in this year's NCAA Tournament. I just have 1 question: How do I form a team?

September 8, 2020

Sunday marked the sad passing of Tom Jernstedt, known as the father of the Final Four. Though I'm sure he was proud of all of his children.

September 4, 2020

Some colleges are not testing athletes for COVID due to "the risks associated with false negatives." Seem like there are also risks associated with accurate positives.

September 1, 2020

There's a call for UK to change the name of Rupp Arena. I've been calling for that for a few year. Though for a few years I thought the name was Rump Arena.

August 28, 2020

ESPN reported, "NC State pauses athletics after positive COVID tests." Call me crazy, but I wouldn't pause. I'd run.

August 21, 2020

Today's News: Coach K said the NCAA can't afford not to have the Tournament again.

Tomorrow's News: Coach K says me meant to add - unless that would be unsafe for the players.

August 18, 2020

The PAC12 announced that its basketball teams will recommence competitive play in January. To which all PAC12 fans responded, "Finally."

August 14, 2020

Due to an expected COVID surge, most colleges will clear out by Thanksgiving. UK's Calipari thinks this is a perfect time to get games in. Makes sense, though I hear there is an expected COVID surge.

August 11, 2020

Texas Tech fired women's basketball coach Marlene Stollings for creating a "toxic environment." In other news, Alabama football coach Nick Saban received praise for wanting to play during a pandemic.

August 7, 2020

The NCAA petitioned the Supreme Court so that it doesn't have to expand benefits for athletes. I guess the NCAA, like everyone else, can't het their hands on Clorox Wipes.

August 4, 2020

Baylor's Jared Butler remains a bit unsure about his decision to return to college in the midst of the pandemic. That's to be expected. He's majoring in Undecided.

July 31, 2020

Two Iowa players took preliminary COVID tests that were returned positive. Unclear whether the results were high enough for them to get 3 credits.

July 28, 2020

UNC coach Roy Williams donated $600,000 to fund scholarships for seniors who missed playing sports this past Spring. To which Coach K responded with, "Crap."

July 24, 2020

Colleges are quite concerned about COVID-19. On the bright side, they are less concerned about Mono.

July 21, 2020

Due to COVID concerns, the pre-season Cancun Challenge will be moving. And due to utter stupidity, its new location will be Florida.

July 17, 2020

Most people think the NCAA will likely just give Kansas a slap on the wrist. Whereas I think the NCAA will likely ban then from the 2020 Tournament.

July 14, 2020

The PAC12's commissioner stated that due to an "abundance of caution" he took a COVID test which came back positive. Seems like his timing was a bit off with the abundance of caution.

July 10, 2020

Louisville has ordered the suspension of all voluntary workouts. And in the meantime, it will try to learn the definition of the word voluntary.

July 7, 2020

Rick Pitino, who's now coaching Iona, suggested the NCAA wait till January to start the season. The NCAA suggested that Rick Pitino remember that he's now coaching Iona.