12/10/2024
In every Kentucky bar, when UK trailed Gonzaga by 18, you heard, “Maybe we should have kept Calipari." Until UK came back and won, then you heard ,“We would've lost if we still
had Calipari."
12/6/2024
To honor Lou Carnesecca, St. John’s players will wear special patches on their jerseys. And
here’s hoping those jerseys are, instead, ugly sweaters.
12/2/2024
After winning The Battle for Atlantis, Oklahoma left Atlantis. I guess it wasn’t worth it.
11/29/2024
After losing 3 games in a row, UConn had Thanksgiving dinner. Anyone have video of that? I really just want to see the part when someone asked Coach Hurley, “So, what are you thankful for today?"
11/26/2024
Welcome to Feast Week, when most people finally realize that college hoops has started - and still don’t care.
11/22/2024
UMKC beat Calvary U by 100. Yes, 100. I’m guessing this will put a damper on the school’s fear evoking motto of “Calvary’s coming!”
11/19/2024
A top recruit said he signed with Alabama because they have Oats. What happens
when he finds out they really only have grits?
11/15/2024
Duke is having major issues with cramping. Give me a break - said everyone on the women’s team.
11/12/2024
Auburn's plane turned around and headed home when two players wouldn’t stop fighting.
So apparently the pilots were their parents.
11/8/2024
After beating Texas A&M, UCF fans stormed the court. Later they received some sad news: It was only the first game
11/5/2024
College hoops season started yesterday. And yet nobody seems to be talking about it today. Wonder why.
11/1/2024
Duke’s Cooper Flagg says he always likes to be "where my feet are". Whereas his coach would like him to, at least occasionally, jump.
10/29/2024
The announcement that Tony Bennett is retiring has confused everyone in Virginia. And Liza Minelli.
10/25/2024
UCLA will honor Bill Walton by playing while wearing tie-dyed jerseys. This idea somehow received more votes than playing while high.
10/22/2024
The SEC and Big12 both claimed they have the best teams in college basketball. And at this point you should be laughing. And by you I mean UConn.
10/18/2024
Cal tapped NASA for advice on travel in the ACC. And there you have definitive proof that people in California are from another planet.
10/15/2024
The NCAA is eliminating national letters of intent. Makes sense. You know, because nobody under 18 has ever written a letter.
10/11/2024
The NCAA is shortening the transfer window. Finally an advantage for basketball players who are not tall.
10/8/2024
Mich St’s Tom Izzo said it’s fair to say that the BIG10 hasn’t won a championship in 25 years. So I guess he’s saying facts are fair. And so I guess he’s also saying he’ll never run for office.
10/5/2024
Mountain West fans were elated to learn that Texas State might join the conference. Then they learned there’s a difference between Texas State and Texas.
10/1/2024
Tulane and Memphis turned down an offer to join the Pac12. When asked why they said because they didn’t want to join the Mountain West.
9/27/2024
Headline: "Air Force Likely Headed to AAC." Well I’m embarrassed to admit I don’t even know what countries border AAC.
9/24/2024
People can’t understand why Woj left ESPN’s millions for St. Bonaventure. That’s because those people have never been to Heaven on Earth. Go Bonnies!
9/20/2024
Despite the elimination of pretty much all of its teams, the PAC12 hopes to keep getting new fans. How’s that going to work? That’d be like a donut chain hoping to keep getting more customers after pretty much eliminating donuts.
9/17/2024
College of Alameda said its new coach, Gary Payton, is a perfect fit. Feels like there’s something the school could've compared GP's fit to. A mitten? Maybe a hand sock?
9/13/2024
The Big12 announced it’s pausing talks of adding UConn. It didn't mention UConn’s football team’s 50-7 loss to Maryland. It didn't have to.
9/10/2024
It was just announced that the NCAA Tournament will be in Atlanta in 2031. That’s nice for
Atlanta. Well, assuming there’s an NCAA in 2031.
9/6/2024
New Balance has given Cooper Flagg a huge deal. So people are. now asking,”Who’s Cooper Flagg?” I think this is good for the company. At least people aren’t now asking,
“What’s New Balance?”
9/2/2024
UConn wants to join the Big12. But the Big12 is requiring UConn to have a legit football program first. Seems unfair as UConn isn’t requiring the Big12 to have a legit football conference first.
8/29/2024
A bullhorn and a sword were stolen from Rick Pitino’s office. Question: Why would he even have a sword and a bullhorn in his office? Obvious Answer: To round-up and control hookers.
8/26/2024
Kentucky fans were relieved to learn that Calipari makes his return on the eve of Groundhog Day. For if it was actually on Ground Hog Day, he might never leave.
8/22/2024
Florida has signed a kid who is a whopping 7’ 9”. And now every NBA scout is asking, “But can he shoot the 3?”
8/19/2024
After Frank Selvy sadly passed away, Furman’s AD declared him the school’s
best athlete. Hard to dispute Selvy’s greatness. But also hard to believe that
not one of Furman’s athletes is better than a corpse.
8/15/2024
Plaintiffs’ attorneys want a judge to reject a $2.78 billion settlement with the NCAA because it’s too small. They continued to make this demand despite being asked many times, “Do you realize that's billion with a b?”
8/12/2024
Howard U’s coach is worried that the new college basketball system will prevent his team from competing for a national championship. And the difference now for Howard U will be
what?
8/9/2024
Kentucky announced its holding an open try-out. This prompted middle-aged guys across America to say, “I know I’d make it, but . . .”
8/5/2024
Calipari wants his Razorbacks to start thinking like kings. That shouldn’t be too hard. From what I’ve seen, most college players already think they should be treated like royalty.
8/2/2024
The anti-trust settlement with the NCAA has former men’s basketball players receiving $135,000 and former women’s players receiving $35,000. So clearly, the attorney representing the women forgot his reading glasses.
7/30/2024
The BIG10’s commissioner says they aren’t going to expand, for now. So the ACC’s commissioner can breathe easy. For now.
7/26/2024
The college hoops season may commence with the women starting first. Makes sense given that men have been known to finish first.
7/23/2024
The Dept of Ed. stated that revenue must be equitably shared with female athletes But it could not explain how to accomplish that. So I guess nobody in the Dept of Ed. knows how to do division.
7/19/2024
A US Court of Appeals ruled that college athletes may be considered employees, unless they play for fun. And there’s a wonderful lesson for the kids: If you want to make money, expect to be miserable.
7/16/2024
Connecticut’s Danny Hurley signed a $50 million contract. Now he’ll be able
to afford pretty much anything he wants. Except a house in Connecticut.
7/12/2024
Former KU star, Mario Chalmers, sued the NCAA for using the image of his famous last second shot. The NCAA may have to replace Mario’s image. My suggestion: use Super Mario.
7/9/2024
The Big East signed a deal with NBC, FOX & TNT. And now the Big East can rest assured that its games will never appear on SportsCenter.
7/5/2024
George Mason’s coach just got a one year extension. That has to be huge for him. Though I thought those things were measured in inches.
7/1/2024
Marquette has stopped the search for its athletic director. Apparently, he’s just too good at hide and seek.
6/29/2024
The NCAA announced it may add 8 teams to the Tournament. Hmm. It feels like they are leaving something out. You know, like the words “power conference” before the word “teams”.
6/26/2024
Oswin Erhunmwunse, Providence’s top 2025 recruit, has decided to arrive a year early. Geesh. He must be tough to invite to New Year’s Eve parties.
6/22/2024
The Big12 may sell the 12 in its name to a corporate sponsor. There’d be a lot of support if they go with the company “Five Below”. You know, because everyone loves the number 7.
6/19/2024
Meleek Thomas is skipping college and joined “Overtime Elite” for name recognition. Really? I’m not sure I could name anyone on those teams. Then again, these days I’m not sure I could name anyone on any college team.
6/16/2024
UConn’s Dan Hurley passed on $70 million from the Lakers. Wow. Yeah, I know you have to figure in the cost of living in LA. But from what I’ve seen, you can live in that city without a home.
6/12/2024
Creighton just named its basketball facility after Coach McDermott. This has led to much positive feedback. As well as to inquires asking when Coach McDermott died.
6/8/2024
The SEC’s commissioner says D1 can operate together. By together he means the SEC with everyone else, separate.
6/5/2024
Arkansas’ John Calipari said he's altering his "winning formula.” This has led every UK fan to ask, “Now?!”
6/1/2024
The Power 5 has agreed to start paying its players. And if you are looking for the humor, it’s with the word “start”.
5/29/2024
Question 1: How is Chris Jans making $4.2 million next year? Question 2: Who the hell is Chris Jans?
5/25/2024
The NCAA said non-Power 5 conferences will have to pay $1.7 billion over 10 years as part of its settlement with players. Some say that's kind. But wouldn’t a quick kill be kinder?
5/22/2024
UW-Green Bay shocked ESPN by hiring CBS talk show host Doug Gottlieb as its new coach. ESPN couldn’t believe that yet another coaching position did not go to Bill Belichick.
5/19/2024
Calipari thinks going with just 8 players next season might give him an advantage. I agree.
Most teams go with just 5.
5/16/2024
The only relevant and humorous news about college hoops in mid-May might just be that I’m
trying to find something relevant and humorous about college hoops in mid-May.
5/12/2024
Nebraska’s Rienk Mast hopes surgery “will get my knee healthy for the rest of my playing career.” So what if surgery ends his playing career? Apparently: Mission Accomplished.
5/9/2024
Athletes are suing the NCAA for $4billion. My initial reaction was that might be too much. Then again, I initially thought that was $4billion per athlete.
5/5/2024
A top 10 recruit just committed to UConn. Though with all of the transferring, “committed” seems too strong. Maybe they should go with “married.”
5/2/2024
Iowa athletes now claim an illegal search of their cell phones was the only reason they were caught gambling. They hope this restores their reputations. Because there is nothing America loves more than a sore loser.
4/29/2024
SEC’s commissioner denied plans to create a massive, super league. Makes sense. He already runs a massive super league.
4/26/2024
Good News for Duke Haters: Only 2 players are returning. Bad News for Duke Haters:
They are the preseason #1.
4/22/2024
ESPN Headline: "Auburn’s Johni Broome Returning.” And there you have it. It’s now news when someone doesn’t transfer.
4/18/2024
Calipari is leaving Kentucky for Arkansas. Really? Arkansas? That’s like the Pope leaving the Vatican for, well, Arkansas.
4/12/2024
The AAC may hire the president of famed prep school IMG. That works. You know, because the AAC is essentially a prep school for the Power5.
4/8/2024
The completion of the NCAA Tournament leaves us with a question: Who can honestly say
they really missed Greg Gumbel?
4/4/2024
Two weeks ago I loved my bracket. Now it looks like my face after a really bad shave.
4/1/2024
Andy Enfield would not have agreed to coach SMU if the school hadn’t left the AAC for the ACC. Makes sense. Why lose to Rice and Tulsa when you can lose to Duke and UNC?
3/29/2024
NC State made the Final4 for the first time in 41 years. Great, but they need to try to stay in the present. I mean, say you have sex for the first time in 41 years. Great, but it’s going to be hard not to get depressed thinking about the next 41 years.
3/25/2024
Minnesota State’s Women’s team won the D2 title on Friday. Then their men’s team won it on Saturday. ESPN would have given this significant coverage if either team had Caitlin Clark.
3/22/2024
Iowa’s Caitlin Clark is struggling over $76K to play in the WNBA, or $5Milion to play in The BIG3 League. For Iowa’s sake, here’s hoping Caitlin isn’t an Economics major.
3/18/2024
ESPN is clearly not covering the men’s and women’s tournaments equally. And yet they’ve received no complaints from women.
3/15/2024
Me: “TruTV!”
Voice Remote: MTV
Me: “No! TruTV!!”
Voice Remote: No Country For Old Men
Me: "Go to TruTv!”
Voice Remote: Go Away
3/11/2024
My wife got me a t-shirt that says “Bracketologist.” - because she couldn’t find one that says, “Super Mega Dork.”
3/7/2024
People can’t understand why McNeese State, with a mere 3 losses isn’t getting more respect. Well, maybe it’s not the losses but their wins - like the one on 12/5 over Mississippi University for Women.
3/4/2024
The NCAA Tournament will have Morehead and Longwood. So I guess it just needs a copier repair man, and a promiscuous secretary.
2/27/2024
Dartmouth’s men’s team has decided to join a local union. The only negative they could
foresee is a need to associate with locals.
2/24/2024
The PAC-12’s new commissioner said she is considering all options. Like - Oregon St could play at Washington St. And - Washington St. could play at Oregon St. And - that’s pretty much it.
2/20/2024
Texas players became irate when Texas Tech fans threw water bottles at them. Understandable. They’d much rather have beer.
2/17/2024
LSU got fined $100K for allowing fans to storm the court after beating Kentucky. Well, let’s hope they learn their lesson not to ever storm the court, unless you beat a good team.
2/13/2024
ESPN reported, “At the Texas A&M Commerce and Incarnate Word game, a brawl broke out." Yet nobody knows about it. That’s probably because people lost interest after reading, "At the Texas A&M Commerce and Incarnate Word game.”
2/9/2024
Despite having the best record, Grand Canyon is not even close to being ranked #1. Wow. I guess everyone now agrees that Bryce Canyon is better.
2/6/2024
Trump has a new line of basketball sneakers. Though they really aren’t for playing hoops. They’re really for attorneys fees.
2/2/2024
FDU’s team got stuck in an elevator. Yes, the whole team. They then got a text from Ringling Bros. clowns stating “Boy do we have a car for you.”
1/30/2024//
Ohio State's recently fired coach will get $12.8 million to do nothing. Awesome. I mean, he now has an answer when his wife asks, “How can you just sit around doing nothing?”
1/26/2024
On Saturday Purdue’s 7’ 4” Tyus Edney defied expectations and swished a 3 point shot. Great. Now maybe he’ll actually meet expectations and slam a 3 point shot.
1/23/2024
Baylor’s AD received a $25K fine for calling refs an “embarrassment.” While a drunk fan received a round of applause for yelling, “Bend over and look at it with your good eye.”
1/19/2024
The BIG10 and SEC formed an advisory board to assess the problems with college sports. Did they really need an advisory board? Or just a mirror?
1/16/2024
Old Dominion’s Vasean Allette has been dismissed from the team for “conduct unbecoming of a Monarch.” Good for him, said Prince Harry.
1/12/2024
The SEC announced the fine for storming the court will go up to $250,000. Friggin inflation.
1/9/2024
People say Texas’s coach overreacted by telling UCF players not to jump around with “horns down.” Well I guess it’s all fun and games to those people, until someone gores himself.
1/5/2024
After making 2 late game free throws, an NC State player gave the foul line the middle
finger. Though her later apologized, he never divulged. what the foul line said to him.
1/2/2024
Rick Pitino has COVID. And this has been a public service announcement for all NYC
hookers.
12/30/2023
ESPN headline: "UConn #1 For 1st Time Since 2009.” Though I kind of remember a championship in 2011. And 2014. And 2023.
12/27/2023
When I saw that #1 Purdue and #2 Houston both lost on Tuesday I thought, "No way. That’s not even possible.” Then I realized they weren’t playing each other.
12/23/2023
The NCAA just signed an 8-year, $920 million contact with ESPN. In wholly unrelated news,
the NCAA will be paying its student-athletes nothing.
12/20/2023
The NCAA just signed an 8-year, $920 million contact with ESPN. In wholly unrelated news,
the NCAA will be paying its student-athletes nothing.
12/16/2023
Baylor made headlines for spending $212 million on a new basketball arena. Yet
no news about any spending on a new library.
12/13/2023
Officials at Illinois said they were surprised that its star player had been charged with
rape. I guess that’s good. I mean, imagine if they weren’t.
12/9/2023
Louisville has assured Kenny Payne that he "will serve as head coach as
we move into the new year.” This has to be comforting for Coach Payne. Well, until after the new year.
12/6/2023
Florida State is suing the ACC because they believe the exit fee is too high. Apparently
they are unfamiliar with attorneys fees.
12/2/2023
Wash St and Oregon St temporarily joined the WCC as they continue to wait for the return of the PAC12. They also continue to wait for the return of the Great Pumpkin and Santa Claus.
11/30/2023
Clingan led UConn past Gonzaga. But it should be noted that the Zags were without Captain Kirk and Spock.
11/26/2023
Dear Dad - Congrats on all those MVPs and championships. But let me know when you hit the court a mere 5 months after having a heart attack. - Bronny.
11/23/2023
Last week a player on Purdue-Fort Wayne blocked a shot while holding his shoe. Unclear if credit goes to the shoe’s size or to its odor.
11/19/2023
A replay showed TCU made its last second shot to beat Georgetown while out of bounds. But a ludicrous rule forbids refs from using replay in that situation. Unfortunately there’s no replay of when that rule was created.
11/17/2023
Delaware has joined Conference-USA. Well, now I can no longer say that I can’t name one team in Conference-USA.
11/15/2023
John Wooden will be on a new stamp. Unfortunately, this means nothing to those under 18. Someone really needs to teach them what a stamp is.
11/13/2023
La Salle’s coach, Fran Dunphy just tallied his 600th win. He thinks that number should be higher. But unfortunately he’s never had any wins vacated.
11/11/2023
I was stunned when I heard late Monday night that Michigan St. lost to James Madison. Wow. Tom Izzo’s screams are really loud.
11/7/2023
LSU’s coach has refused to play Angel Reese in the last 2 games. Well, at least Angel hasn’t had to pretend that people can’t see her.
11/5/2023
College basketball season started last night. And in related news, a tree fell in the woods and nobody heard it.
11/2/2023
A judge ruled that Oregon St and Washington St deserve control of the Pac12. No word on who deserves responsibility.
10/31/2023
Marquette’s Tyler Kolek is receiving much care after stepping on another player’s foot Friday night. This contrasts sharply with the reaction I receive every time I step on my wife’s feet.
10/27/2023
Arizona now fears its athletic department will lose money with its move to the BIG12. I guess
someone finally figured out the cost of flights from Tucson to W.V.
10/24/2023
K-State’s Nae'Qwan Tomlin has been suspended for fighting at Tubby’s Sports Bar. I guess
someone must have mistaken him for the owner.
10/20/2023
The NIT has made big changes which have left most college hoops fans wondering the same thing: Who cares?
10/17/2023
KU’s coach explained how his reputation was hurt by the NCAA’s investigation. He opted not to explain how his reputation was hurt by his actions.
10/13/2023
Houston's coach referred to the Big 12 as “a tough dog park - no Chihuahuas.” Everyone seems to agree, except Taco Bell.
10/10/2023
Kentucky just had its pro day on Wednesday. But they may need to do so more often if they want to have enough players to scrimmage.
10/6/2023
KU signed top prospect Rakease Passmore, but I foresee problems. Like what happens when he’s told to pass more? “Pass more!” “What?” “Pass more!” What?!”
10/3/2023
Kansas will not receive a post-season ban for its violations. The NCAA found that it could not justify such a sanction, financially.
9/30/2023
Dartmouth argues that their players are not employees. Seems like they’d be better off arguing that their players are not players.
9/27/2023
The NCAA shrunk the window for athletes to enter the portal. And now the NCAA better brace for allegations of body shaming.
9/23/2023
Apparently the NCAA doesn’t think that U of Nevada playing its games in a casino would be a bad look. Huh. Wonder what it thinks about half time performances by strippers.
9/19/2023
More Iowa athletes than expected have pled guilty to gambling. That’s disappointing. You know, because I had the under.
9/16/2023
Duke just just signed its 3rd player ranked in the top 50. And this has been a public service announcement for those in need of another reason to hate Duke.
9/12/2023
Dartmouth players are seeking to unionize then possibly strike. That would cause a massive impact on college basketball if it was 1944.
9/9/2023
KU suspended Arterio Morris for alleged sexual assault. Fans are elated. Why? The team now only needs to suspend 2 more to meet its annual quota.
9/5/2023
Sasa Ciani of Slovenia has signed with Xavier. He’ll eventually learn that the school goes by X. And not Twitter.
9/2/2023
Oregon St and Wash St filed suit to take control of the Pac-12’s future. The Pac-12 filed a response of: “Wait, we have a future?”
8/30/2023
The ACC considered adding Washington St. But I guess the Catholic schools had a problem being associated with the Wazzu.
8/27/2023
I’m hoping Washington St and Oregon St. keep the Pac 12 together. Why? It would be great to see the entire season, as well as the conference championship, take place on one day.
8/24/2023
UK’s John Calipari says the transfer portal in college is just like “one and done” to the NBA. And I’m sure all of his players who had to transfer to low mid-majors would agree.
8/20/2023
The woman who wrongly accused Georgia Tech’s coach of having sex with her received a 1-year sentence. Maybe she’s just confused as to what sex is. Well, that will change in prison.
8/17/2023
Loyola-Chicago’s Sister Jean just turned 104. I’d love to see the team score 104 points in a game for her. Then Sister Jean could definitely assert that hell has frozen over.
8/14/2023
KU and Illinois are getting permission from the NCAA and securing the State Farm
Center for an exhibition game with proceeds going to Maui. They apparently found this easier than learning how to use Venmo.
8/10/2023
The Big12 has rejected college hoops powerhouse Gonzaga, and current NCAA Tourney champ UConn. In other news, the NCAA has changed its college basketball logo to a second fiddle.
8/7/2023
Flory Bidunga has signed with Kansas as a top-ranked center. But something tells me that
Bidunga stinks in the middle.
8/3/2023
Cal and Stanford may join the Atlantic Coast Conference. This should ally all fears of coastal erosion.
7/30/2023
So there’s a new a conference. It’s called the Pac-12 Divided By 3.
7/27/2023
While at Iowa, Ahron Ulis allegedly placed 1,850 wagers with FanDuel. Big mistake. Should have used a bookie.
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