Domination Rankings Of Everything
- cbballtimes2021
- May 27
- 12 min read
Updated: 13 minutes ago
DOMINATION RANKINGS OF EVERYTHING
So as you know, College Basketball Times created the Domination Rankings - of college basketball. (Come on, let me assume you knew that.) Anyway, we decided to expand things a bit to include, well, everything together.
The result: essentially a satire on all rankings.
Here's how it works - sort of:
Our voters come up with a weekly Top 25 which we reveal on our podcast and our videocast (not sure that videocast is a word) where a rotating panel then makes some tweaks. The final Top 25 of the week can also by found by going to our TikTok page - or, yeah, by just scrolling below. Always nice to have options though.
If you'd like to be one of our voters just email me at CollegeBBTimes@gmail.com
Thanks for playing.
Dave Barend - Grand Poobah
College Basketball Times
Top 25 - June 17, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1 Sleep - (Stays same) - Apparently there's nothing better than lack of consciousness.
2 Making People Laugh (moves up 1) - Not sure I can take any credit for this, but I'm going to.
3 Pizza (Down 1) - Seeing this fall made no sense to me - Until I realized it includes all pizza. And not all pizza is good. They say it's not delivery it's DiGiorno. Yeah right, it's not delivery, it's a piece of crap.
4 TV (stays same) - Back in the day TV used to be referred to as the Boob Tube. But that term isn't used any more because - there are no tubes. You can, however, find boobs, or so I've been told.
5 Pasta - (up one) - I try to avoid pasta because it's high glycemic which means - I have no idea.
6 A Good Bowel Movement - (falls one) - My wife thinks this is disgusting. Well that's because she's visualizing an actual bowl movement. That's incorrect. We're not talking about the result here. We're talking about the joyous post-poop feeling of relief and accomplishment. Ahh, I did it!
7 Air Conditioning - (up 5) - I don't know why they don't just call this air cooling, instead of air conditioning. It's not like the air is getting in shape.
8 Sex - (down one) - Sex drops, and I say good! Nice to know that sex might be an non-dominant a part of other people's lives as it is of mine.
9 Summertime - (up from 13) - Summertime is not only a wonderful season. It's also a beautiful song by Ella Fitzgerald. And now for your listening pleasure - I will not sing that song.
10 Jesus (stays same) - Gotta say I'm a big fan, but an even bigger fan of his birthday.
11 Elvis (down 9) How can you not be impressed with a guy who can has the guts to get on stage and call himself a hunk, a hunk of burning love.
12 The Simpsons -(Falls from # 8) I was excited when I heard there was a show coming out called the Simpsons. But that's because I was a Buffalo Bills fan.
13 Money (falls 2) - The best things in life are free. But you can give them to the birds and bees . . .
14 Child Birth (up from 24) Approximately 350,000 people give birth every day. Some might think that something 350,000 people accomplish every single day can't be all that impressive. What I've learned is if you do think that, you should not share that thought with your wife.
15 Sandwiches (down 1) This ranking can be justified in a mere 4 words: Peanut Butter and Jelly.
16 NYC - (up 3) - My only beef with the most dominant city in the world is - it's never finished. There is always scaffolding pretty much everywhere to fix or improve something, Somehow NYC never gets to the point where they say, "Hey, we're done."
17 Star Wars (down 1) - Star Wars haters only have one thing that they constantly rely on: Jar Jar Binx. And to that I say - you're right. He was massively annoying.
18 Ted Williams (up 2) - I get it, he was incredible. But not as incredible as Ted - a talking teddy bear, whose life was made into not 1 but 2 movies.
19 Fishing (up from 25) - Interesting fact. Overfishing in Peru in 1972 lead a complete collapse of the anchovie population. So for about a year it was really hard to find anchovies to ruin a pizza.
20 Rome (falls 3) - This includes the city of Rome, the history of Rome, the empires of Rome, but not that guy named Jim Rome. Probably would be a little lower if it did.
21 Premier League - So the Premier League makes the top 25, but the NFL does not. Which makes sense to me - in no way at all.
22 Jeans (falls from 15) - That's a big drop for Jeans. Maybe our voters need to go watch that Brooke Shields commercial "Nothing gets between me and my Calvins." Just to be clear I'm quoting Brooke Shields here. I wear underwear - when I have a clean pair.
23 Indoor Plumbing (New)
24 Deodorant/Anti-perspirant (New)
25 Motown (New) - Motown is the perfect music to blare in the car, sing a long with and - embarrass the hell out of my daughters. "I know you want to leave me. But I refuse to let you go."
Others Receiving Votes:
Dating Apps. Quotable Movies, Your Favorite Team Winning A Championship, Jeep, Cremation, Domination Rankings, The Beach Boys, Sneakers, Formula 1, Gold, Fred Rogers, Batman, Couples Arguing Publicly, Shakespeare, Tom Cruise, Henry Kissinger, Steam Engine, Inside The NBA, Ice Cream Truck, Winning Olympic Gold, Electric Guitar, Pancreas, Dogs, Leakproof Underwear, Lego, Asteroids, Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Vent and Duct Cleaning
Major Contributors:
Jerry Thornton, Mike Rusconi, Emma Hurley and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Top 25 - June 10, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1 Sleep -Sleep over pizza makes sense - only if you are dreaming of pizza.
2 Pizza
3 Making People Laugh - Overrated (Comedian Dave Rattigan)
4 TV
5 A Good Bowel Movement
6 Pasta - Has to be above sex. No foreplay with pasta. Never got an STD from pasta. And you can have pasta, and then have it the next day, the next day . . . (Jim Ruberti)
7 Sex
8 The Simpsons
9 Elvis
10 Jesus
11 Money
12 Air Conditioning - Not sure how Summertime and AC can both make the list. Don't the cancel each other out? (Dave Barend)
13 Summertime
14 Sandwiches
15 Jeans
16 Star Wars
17 Rome
18 Jeep
19 NYC
20 Ted Williams
21 Domination Rankings - Almost made the top 20!!
22 Premier League
23 Cremation - In 19 years 81 precent of people will have cremations So it should be ranked ahead of Ted Williams who merely hit 40%. (Jim Ruberti)
24 Child Birth - It’s so amazing to witness, I passed out. When I came to, I said, “Oh my God, look what I’ve done.” My wife immediately responded with, “You didn’t do a damn thing!” (Dave Barend)
25 Fishing. - Fishing is everything. Fishing is fishing. It's also fishing for sex from your wife, fishing for a raise, . . . everything is fishing. (Jim Ruberti)
Others Receiving Votes:
The Beach Boys, Sneakers, Formula 1, Gold, Fred Rogers, Batman, Couples Arguing Publicly, Shakespeare, Tom Cruise, Henry Kissinger, Steam Engine, Inside The NBA, Ice Cream Truck, Winning Olympic Gold, Electric Guitar, Pancreas, Dogs, Leakproof Underwear, Lego, Asteroids, Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Vent and Duct Cleaning
Major Contributors:
Dave Rattigan, Jim Ruberti, Juliana Caravaggio and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Top 25 - June 4, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1. Pizza - #1 yet again
2. TV
3. Sleep
4. A good bowel movement - I had this miswritten as a good "bowl" movement. But when you think about it there's often a good bowl movement with a good bowel movement.
5. Making People Laugh
6. Sex
7. Money - an entry found intriguing by our interns - our volunteer interns.
8. Jesus -
9. Sandwiches - almost nature's best food, almost. (Mark Hoover)
10. The Simpsons
11. Jeans
12. NYC - an accent that could turn the most jacked up viagra user completely flaccid in 4 words or less (Paul Nardizzi)
13. Elvis
14. Air Conditioning - Fantastic, unless dropped out the window. (Mark Hoover)
15 The Pope
16. Premier League Soccer - Turns out there is no league with this name. But there are 4 US leagues that include the word Premier which just seems wrong.
18.Star Wars
19. Pasta
20. Alabama Crimson Tide Women’s Wheelchair Basketball Team - Would easily be #1 if we went by length of name.
21. Domination Rankings - Still in the Top 25, somehow.
22. Canada
23 Summertime - The time when most people do #6 above. So without Summertime most of us wouldn't even be here. (Paul Nardizzi)
24 Rome - Gave us sanitation systems without which a good bowel movement would be much less good.
25 Ted Williams - A prophet: he treated the media like a steaming pile of garbage decades before we realized that's how they deserved to be treated. (Paul Nardizzi)
Others Receiving Votes:
Formula 1, Gold, Fred Rogers, Batman, Couples Arguing Publicly, Shakespeare, Tom Cruise, Henry Kissinger, Steam Engine, Inside The NBA, Ice Cream Truck, Winning Olympic Gold, Electric Guitar, Pancreas, Dogs, Leakproof Underwear, Lego, Asteroids, Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance
Major Contributors:
Jillian Barend, Mark Hoover, Paul Nardizzi and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Top 25 - May 31, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1. Pizza - 4 weeks in a row at #1!
2. TV -Does anyone under 25 use an actual television? Let's just assume this is referring to the "TV experience."
3. Sleep
4. A good bowel movement
5. Sex - So, "a good bowel movement" ranks higher than sex? Yeah, we might need some more voters under 50.
6 The Pope
7. Making People Laugh - You might think there'd be a funny comment accompanying this one. You'd be wrong.
8. Money
9. Jesus
10. Sandwiches
11. The Simpsons - Impressive longevity. But that's helped more than a bit by the fact that nobody dies, or even ages.
12. Batman - Adam West was best. And no George Clooney-esq weird nipples.
13. Jeans - New sequined styles for the summer keeps jeans from a slide.
14. NYC
15. Domination Rankings
16. Shakespeare
17. Elvis - much like air conditioning, Elvis had gas leaks, but his were much funnier.
18. Air Conditioning - needed to avoid booty dew and trench ass.
19 Couples Arguing Publicly
20. Premier League Soccer
21. Alabama Women’s Wheelchair Basketball Team - Our sole connection to college basketball survived another week
22.Jeeps - Yeah not safe, but you go get your super-safe Volvo, I'll cruise around in my Jeep. And when we both get hit by a MACK Truck, I'll die instantly and you'll suffer for months before finally croaking. I win.
23.Pasta - Why pasta? Well, without pasta, no kiss by Lady and the Tramp
24 Star Wars - Made more money than 8 Mission Impossible movies, 8 Lord of the Rings movies, and 9 Ernest movies combined.
25. Canada - Got an unfair bad rap from South Park. And now, we may be Canada's last best hope to remain a sovereign independent nation with an anthem much better than ours.
Others Receiving Votes:
Tom Cruise, Henry Kissinger, Steam Engine, Inside The NBA, Ice Cream Truck, Winning Olympic Gold, Electric Guitar, Pancreas, Dogs, Leakproof Underwear, Lego, Asteroids, Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Whopping Cough, Acupuncture, Mexico
Major Contributors:
Emma Hurley, Mike Dinga, Mike Hurley, and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah).
Videos - Domination Ranking of Everything Show
Top 25 - May 24, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1.Pizza - Went to the doctor the other day to check my cholesterol and I swear I heard her say "Eat more pizza." I mean that's what I heard.
3.Jesus
5.The Simpsons
6.The Pope - 1.5 billion Catholics might find Dah Pope too low.
7. Making People Laugh - Recent study shows laughter will help cure the health issue plaguing the world over - dry eye disease.
8. Sleep -
9. A good bowel movement - a big part of the day for the over 50 set
10. Couples arguing publicly - a main reason for the existence of TikTok
11. Sandwiches - remember that an Oreo is a sandwich cookie.
12 Money - Some claim it's the root of all evil. We claim it's #12.
13.Jeans - Once split a pair right down the crotch. Swear, I'm not bragging. Happened while coaching 4th grade girls hoops. No I did not get arrested.
14. Winning Olympic Gold
15.Batman
16.Domination Rankings - Might be a little low. And entirely possible that it's way too high.
17. Premier League Soccer- Watched 5 minutes of this last week and then realized it wasn't rugby.
18.Canada - Home of Neil Pert, Michael J. Fox, Ryan Reynolds, Barenaked Ladies and, yeah Loverboy, but they can't all be winners.
19.Henry Kissinger
20.Steam Engine - Without the steam engine there's no Steamboat Willy. And without Steamboat Willy there's no Mickey Mouse. And without Mickey Mouse there's no Disney.
21. Alabama Women’s Wheelchair Basketball Team
22. Air conditioning - great cure for swap ass and butt butter.
23 NYC - Has pretty much everything in the Domination Rankings - Pizza on every corner. Sex on every corner. A good bowel movement on every corner.
24.Elvis - 2 words: The King.
25.Shakespeare -
Others Receiving Votes:
Electric Guitar, Pancreas, Dogs, Leakproof underwear, Lego, Asteroids, Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Whopping Cough, Acupuncture, Mexico
Major Contributors:
Matt Carty, Mike Hurley, Isabella Souto, and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Top 25 - May 14, 2025 - Domination Rankings Of Everything
1 Pizza - Could arguably take up slots 1 through 5 here.
2 Sex - Not sure something should be on the list that most of our voters are too old to even remember.
3.Jesus - In the top 5 despite not having a Fortnight skin.
5.The Simpsons - Monorail. Need we say more?
6.The Pope - Chicago's new hometown hero
7. A good bowel movement - I'm in such need of good bowel movements that I've started drinking prune juice. In fact, when people ask how old I am I now just say I'm prune juice old.
8.Couples arguing publicly
9.Sleep - Love sleep. Sleep everyday. That's addiction
10. Sandwiches
12. Asteroids
13.Jeans
14. Winning Olympic Gold
15.Batman - Does it all and - gives back to his community.
16.Domination Rankings
17. Alabama Women’s Wheelchair Basketball Team - Why? Won last 5 championships in a row. Wow you say? Wow is right.
18.Leakproof Underwear
19. Premier League Soccer
20.Making People Laugh
21.Canada - Oh Canada! I should probably learn more of that song.
22.Henry Kissinger
23.Pancreas
24.Steam Engine - Looking for a renewable energy source? We might have a large amount of steam - like an infinite amount.
25.Shakespeare
Others Receiving Votes:
Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Whopping Cough, Acupuncture, Mexico
Major Contributors:
Trey Allwood, Adam Cox, Ava DiCecca, and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah).
Top 25 - May 10, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
2. Sex
3. Jesus
4. Elon Musk
7.The Pope
8. A good bowel movement
9. Couples arguing publicly
10. Sleep
11.Winning Olympic Gold
12. Asteroids
13. Premier Soccer League
14.Jeans
15. Money
16.Batman
17.Domination Rankings
18.Sandwiches
19.Alabama Women’s Wheelchair Team
20. Leakproof Underwear
21. Messi
22.Making People Laugh
23. Canada
24. Henry Kissinger
25.The Pancreas
Others Receiving Votes:
Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Whopping Cough, Acupuncture, Mexico
Major Contributors:
Mike Hurley, Isabella Souto, Keith Spillette and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Top 25 - April 30, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
3.Messi
5.Elon Musk
6. Pizza
7. Jesus
8.Couples arguing publicly
9. A good bowel movement -
10. The House (A Casino)
11. Asteroids
12. Winning Olympic Gold
13.Jeans
14. Premier League Soccer
15.Sleep
17. Batman
18Sandwiches
19. The Domination Rankings
20.Twitter Beefs
21.Canada (Hating Us)
22.The Pope
23. Leakproof Underwear
24. Women Astronauts
25.Alabama Women’s Wheelchair Team
Others Receiving Votes:
The NFL, Making People Laugh, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Whopping Cough, Acupuncture, Mexico
Others Deserving Praise:
Carolyn Plummer, Paul Nardizzi and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Original Top 25 - April 24, 2025
1. The Pope
2. Premier League Soccer
3. Sleep
4. Sex
5. Women “astronauts”
7.Messi
8. AI
9. Elon Musk
10. Pizza
11. Jesus
12.TV Theme songs
13.Couples arguing publicly
14.A good bowel movement
15.Asteroids
16.Mexico
17.Winning Olympic Gold
18.Whopping cough
19.Acupuncture
20.Jeans
21. Money
20. Joey Chestnut
21. Batman
22. Sandwiches
23."The House" (Casinos)
24. The Domination Rankings
25. Alabama Women’s Wheelchair basketball team
Others receiving votes:
NFL, Making Someone Laugh, Shakespeare, Elvis, NYC, The Simpsons, Indoor plumbing, Taylor Swift, Murder documentaries, Mangos, Words with rules, George Carlin, Wordle, Big Pretzel, Optimus Prime, Darth Vader, Sabrina Carpenter, Penicillin, Slime, Macho Man Randy Savage, Lebron James, Sliced Bread, Love, Ford F-150, Disney, The ring from Lord of the Rings.
Others Deserving Praise:
Trey Allwood, Adam Cox, Whit Henry, Carolyn Plummer, Paul Nardizzi and your Grand Poobah, Dave Barend
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