Domination Rankings Of Everything
- Dave Barend
- May 27
- 48 min read
Updated: 1 day ago
DOMINATION RANKINGS OF EVERYTHING
If you'd like to be one of our voters just click here: VOTE
Uh, Dave, what are we voting for.
Well, as you know, College Basketball Times created the Domination Rankings - of college basketball. (Come on, let me assume you knew that.) Anyway, we decided to expand things a bit to include, well, everything together.
The result: essentially a satire on all rankings.
Here's how it works - sort of:
Our voters come up with a weekly Top 25 which we reveal on our podcast and our videocast (not sure that videocast is a word) where a rotating panel then makes some tweaks. The final Top 25 of the week can also by found by going to our TikTok page - or, yeah, by just scrolling below. Always nice to have options though.
Again, If you'd like to be one of our voters just click here: VOTE
Thanks for playing.
Dave Barend - Grand Poobah
College Basketball Times
Top 25 - August 20, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1.Tiktok (was 2) - So other day I’m having a melt down, which yeah, hard to fathom, And then I notice my daughter - is recording - my melt down. "Dad - I need it for TikTok." What does that even mean? It was then that I learned - I love TikTok! And now I’m on TikTok - voluntarily - revealing the Domination Rankings on my refrigerator -
2.Dogs (was 9) - My neighbors dog barks non-stop and nobody says a word. But everyone complains when blare a little 2 Live Crew. I mean what would you rather hear, “Woof Woof Woof” Or “Oh me so horny?”
3. Jesus (was 3) - Remains at #3. Yup Jesus hasn’t risen in 3 weeks. And when I told my mom that Jesus hasn’t risen, she slapped me.
4. Sex (was 12) - I came across a video about how it’s normal to fart during sex. First, not the video I was looking for. Second, no it’s not. But even if it is. It’s definitely not normal to fart during sex and expect to have sex with that person again.
5. Beer (was 21) Everyone has their favorite beer. And I’m man enough to admit that mine is - root beer. But, amongst those who agree with me are Snoopy, and that’s about it.
6. Instagram (was 10) - So I recently put up a post on Instagram. And it was turned the wrong way, and a little cut off, and pretty much a mess. Someone leaves a comment, “Do you even know what you are doing?” Isn’t that obvious!
7. South Park (was 20) - I have to say that I’m surprised South Park is this high. And I have to say that because I’m afraid of Kristi Noem.
8. Pizza (was 4) - Legend has it that the modern day pizza was made in honor of and named after Queen Margherita. And her reaction was, “How about a drink named after me. Maybe some tequila, orange liquor, lime and how about some salt on the rim. No. I’m stuck with this mess of a pie?”
9. Indoor Plumbing (was 8) - the invention of indoor plumbing severely decreased the cases of cholera, and substantially increased lead poisoning. So you might say, kind of a wash.
10. Making People Laugh (was 5) - I told my wife that there’s nothing I love more than making people laugh. Turns out, that’s probably not something you should say to your wife.
11. Grand Canyon (was 24) - Garcia Cardenas discovered the Grand Canyon in 1540. Wonder if he discovered it from a distance or if he discovered it because someone he was with was not paying attention. “You guys are so slow I can go faster walking backwards - Ahhh!”
12 Cereal (was 7) This past week I went to the grocery store check out with just 2 things: milk and Coco Pebbles. I look at the clerk and say, “It’s for my kids.” And she says, “No it’s not.” She was right.
13. Disney (New) - In 6th grade family went to Disney World - the US version of a trip to Mecca. We were having a wonderful time till we get to Space Mountain. No way. My dad looks at me and says, “Do you really want to go home and tell all of your friends that you were too afraid to go on Space Mountain. That’s some next level parenting there. He managed to use peer pressure - and there weren’t any peers around. So I went on it, survived and triumphantly told all of my friends - without mentioning how I screamed like a baby and peed myself.
14 A Good Bowel Movement (was 19) - So I’m in college and an attractive woman asks if I want to join the feminist movement. I feel compelled to use brilliant wit and I say, I’m sorry I’m currently part of the bowel movement. A little advice: if you are trying to impress a woman it’s probably best to in no way suggest you are currently having a bowel movement.
15 Breathing (was 6) - My wife tells me to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. Why? But I did and then I figured out why. She farted.
16 Sleep (was 15) - I used to love sleep, but that’s changing because somehow I keep waking up injured. My neck’ll hurt or my back or my hip. I swear to God, last week I woke up with a sprained ankle. How does that happen? There is a better chance that I walk away unscathed from a car accident than from my own bed.
17 Lego (was 23) - People love to get Legos for their kids because it will make them smart and then get into a good college. I say if you get your kids Legos they definitely aren’t going to a good college because you aren’t going to have any money left to pay for it.
18 Amazon (was 22) - 100s of millions of people go to Amazon for Xmas as well as for birthdays, graduations and that piece of crap holiday Valentines Day. Or even just to buy some new underwear - because your damn wife - threw out your favorite pairs - due to claims of too many holes and discoloration.
19 TV (was 14) In 1926 the first public demonstration of a televised image was of a ventriloquist's dummy named Stooky. And now, about 100 years later you can turn on your TV and see another dummy named Snooki. So much for progress.
20 Elvis (was 1) - The King plummets from # 1 to # 20. That hurts. Voters, what are you doing? Don’t be cruel!
21 Bitcoin (was 25) Bitcoin goes by BTC because BC would sound too much like what it is - BS.
22 Sneakers (was 17) - Sneakers revolutionized basketball. Before sneakers people actually played basketball in boots, or dress shoes or slippers. That might explain the long time popularity of the set shot. I mean I’m pretty sure Dr. J would not have been able to slam dunk from the free throw line in slippers.
23.Nvidia (New) Nvidia, the most valuable company in the world, was amazingly founded in a Denny’s. Which seems unfair to me. I’ve been to Denny’s many times and never overheard anyone say, “So do you want to invest in a 4 trillion dollar company?” I have instead heard many times, “So do you know how drunk you were last night?”
24. Sharks (New) - Great white sharks are actually pathetic. If merely turned upside down they become completely paralyzed. Even I didn’t get completely paralyzed when I was flipped upside down above a toilet by two big kids in high school. Nope I managed to kick one in the nose and punched the other in the balls. And they let me go. Right into the toilet.
25 College Football (New) - I don’t understand the logic of having College Football in the top 25 when it’s not the best football. I mean then why not have high school football, or JV football, or intramural flag football or even better my neighbor Phil and I who throw the ball around every Saturday.
Others Receiving Votes: College Football, Air Fryer, LeBron, Spotify, Deodorant, Air Conditioning, Pro Wrestling, Banana Bread, Money, ESPN, NYC, iPhone, Sandwiches, Reality Shows, Casinos, The Simpsons, Shakespeare, Michale Jackson, Refrigerators, Superman, The NFL, Pasta, Cheese, AI, Wine, Piano, Child Birth, Eggs, Rome, Star Wars, Airplane, Gatorade, Coffee, Wayne Gretzky, Mozart, The Pope, da Vinci, Steam Engine, Niagara Falls, Ted Williams, Formula 1, Fishing, Electric Guitar, Gold, Minecraft, Caitlin Clark, Jeans, Premier League, Playing Cards, Toothpaste, Batman, Pete Rose, Joey Chestnut, Jeep, Motown, Summertime. Dating Apps. Bachelor Parties, Tom Cruise, Internet, Couples Arguing Publicly, Ice Cream Trucks, Messi, Goodyear Blimp, Taco Bell, Sliced Bread, Big Pretzel, Mr. Rogers. Mustard, Quotable Movies, Sports, Leg Day, Thumbs, The Beach Boys, Alabama Women's Wheelchair Team, Teenage Mutant. Ninja Turtles, Pancreas
Top 25 - August 11, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1 Elvis (was 5) - I love that Elvis made it to the top for Elvis Week. What I don’t love is that Elvis Week celebrates the anniversary of his death. Why celebrate his death? I don’t think Elvis would celebrate his death. Why not celebrate one of his many accomplishments like the day he hooked up with Ann Margaret, or Natalie Wood or Cybil Shepard. Yes, I think Elvis would be up for celebrating any of those days.
2 Tiktok (was 9) - Even if China is watching - I say great! That’s more people watching our videos. The only problem with them watching is they don’t count the views. So China if you are going to watch - give me credit for the views.
3 Jesus (was 3) - When I was little my Mom would always yell at me when I’d say “Jesus!” But I’d tell her I wasn’t swearing, I was praying. And then she’d yell at me for lying.
4 Pizza (was 8) - I make a completely unique type of pizza. As opposed to pretty much every other type of pizza, the pizza I make sucks
5 Making people Laugh (was 7) - Did you know that laughter can actually have a curative and medicinal effect. Someone needs to tell RFK Jr. Maybe I can get a job at HHS.
6 Breathing (was 13) - My doctor tells me that I’ll feel healthier if I breathe deeply. So I said, “Thank you doctor. And what you are thoughts on how I’ll feel if I don’t breathe at all. Because clearly since I’m not a doctor like you, I must be an idiot.”
7 Cereal (was 14) - Did you know that Crunch Berries have 25% of the daily recommend amount of Riboflavin. So it's about time we stop calling Crunch Berries a sugar cereal and start calling them a Riboflavin cereal.
8 Indoor Plumbing (was 10) - Plumber derives from the Latin Plum-bum. Boy have things changed. Nobody would call a plumber a bum now. Now you call a plumber and you just pray he calls you back.
9 Dogs (was 16)- Dogs keep rising on the list and I just don’t get it. Simply put, dogs are not the best pet. You know what is? A turtle. Why? Turtles never die. And they are low maintenance. The maintenance level of a turtle is about the same as that of a picture.
10 Instagram (was 2) - My daughters explained to me that Instagram stories is much like Snapchat and I said, ”Oh - what the hell is Snapchat? Why would they think I know anything about Snapchat?!
11 Deodorant (was 17) Here’s a true story - I’m in college in a bar. I go up to a girl tell a little joke and she smiles - then she starts giggle. Yee ha! - Then she’s flat out laughing. And then she says - will you stop sweating. Moral of the story: do not step outside without dousing yourself in deodorant and antiperspirant.
12 Sex (was 3) - Sex drops possibly because of the significant drop in federal funding for sex education. But don’t worry, there has been an more significant increase in investment into pornography. And let’s be honest, most people get their sex education from porn.
13 Pro Wrestling (was 19) - March 31, 1985, my dad does the unthinkable, he agrees to pay for the PayPer view showing of Wrestlemania 1. And for one day of my high school career I was popular. Well for one part of one night of my high school career, my basement was filled with kids rooting for Wild Samoans, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Captain Lou Albano, The Iron Sheik, Mr. T, Superfly Jimmy Snuka from the top rope and Hulk Hogan! Hulka-mania, Wrestlemania - 2 of the 3 best manias in the same place. And Pandemonium broke lose!
14 TV (was 11) - Nearly 100% of people in the US 50 an older own at least one television. Whereas 25% of people 18-34 do not even own a single TV. Which begs the question: what’s wrong with that generation?
15 Sleep (was 12) - I tried to teach myself how to sleepwalk. True story. And I determined that the best way to sleepwalk is to fall asleep standing up. There is a problem with that though. When you fall asleep standing up, you fall down.
16 ESPN (was 1)- ESPN plummets. Why? I’m guessing the voters, much like me, really don’t want to watch little kids playing baseball. If I wanted to watch little kids playing baseball I’d just open my door and I’d see the neighborhood shits on my lawn. But then I’d become that guy, you know, the one who says “Hey you kids get off my lawn.”
17 Sneakers (new) - Did you know that there are more sneakers on the planet than every non-living thing other than grains of sand, coins and books by John Grisham?
18 Air Conditioning (was 15) - So I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Dave, Dave Dave, how can the voters put air conditioning ahead of a good bowel movement.” Well let me tell you - I agree with you. But if it’s 95 degrees and there’s no air conditioning, guess what you are not having - a good bowel movement.
19 A Good Bowel Movement (was 6) - My wife hates when I say “good bowel movement”. So I looked up synonyms for good bowel movement and found crap and poop. I didn’t even know poop was an actual word. And the best part is my wife is now ok when I say good bowel movement.
20 South Park (new) - South Park got an incredible number of votes this week. And I’m nearly positive that not one of them was from Kristi Noem.
21 Beer (was 22) - According to Wikipedia, beer is produced by the brewing and fermentation of starches from cereal grain. So why is there no Coco Puffs beer?
22 Amazon (was 25) - This past month was my anniversary which I remembered - the night before my anniversary. But not to worry thanks to Amazon - #1 in the world in delivery speed and inventory management - my marriage did not get any worse than it already is.
23. Lego (New) I may be the only parent on the planet who has never stepped on Legos. I almost did once, in the middle of the night and just before I stepped on them I pulled my foot up, and slipped, landing on the Legos - face first. I felt like I had shoved my head into a hornets nest. And after I removed the Legos, I looked like a zit popping teenager.
24 Grand Canyon (New) - A few weeks ago my wife tells me she heard on the news that the Grand Canyon burned down. What? No. The Grand Canyon did not burn down, the Grand Canyon Lodge burned down. How could the Grand Canyon burn down? It’s a canyon. It’s already down.
25. Bitcoin (was 19) - Warren Buffet called call bitcoin “Rat poison squared.” Whereas Jimmy Buffet called it a lost shaker of salt. But he was wasting away, you know, in Margaritaville.
Others Receiving Votes: Summertime, Money, Spotify, The Simpsons, Cheese, iPhone, Disney, Sandwiches, NYC, Air Fryer, LeBron, Eggs, AI, NFL, Caitlin Clark, Wine, Shakespeare, Superman, Rome, da Vinci, Pasta, Michael Jordan, Child Birth, Coffee, Piano, Refrigerators, Electric Guitar, Niagara Falls, Ice Cream Truck, Star Wars, The Internet, Air Planes, Mozart, The Pope, Ted Williams, College Football, Steam Engine, Reality Shows, Fishing, Formula 1, Gold, Wayne Gretzky, Taco Bell, Minecraft, Playing Cards, Mustard, Premiere League, Couples Arguing Publicly
Top 25 - August 4, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1. Instagram (was # 2) - Instagram is available in 33 different languages. Impressive, but I think it needs to add one more called Old People. Because I don’t understand it at all
2 ESPN (was 1)- Without ESPN there’d be no Dick Vitale. That means there’d be no Awesome Baby, Diaper Dandy, Dipsey Do Dunk a Roo, PTP’er, M&M’er, Maalox Masher, Uncle Mo, Geta TO, Cupcake city - which my daughter actually tried to find on a map. And nothing would ever be considered Super Scintillating Sensational
3 Jesus (was 4) - In my house Jesus by far gets the most time dedicated to his birthday. Christmas decorations stay up for like a month and a half. My daughter’s birthdays easily get a weekend if not more. My wife gets an entire day. And I get the amount of time it takes open an Amazon package. So if I milk it, we’re talking 3 minutes.
4 Sex (was 3) - I got an email from someone saying I should take sex off the list because a lot of people don’t identify as a sex. So I wrote back and said I get it. It’s been so long I probably can’t identify sex either.
5, Elvis (was 20) - Elvis week is coming up when people will celebrate the king of rock and roll and rap. Yes, Elvis rapped in the song US Male:
Now I said all that to say all this
I've been watchin' the way
You've been watchin' my miss
For the last three weeks you been hot on her trail
And you kinda upset this U.S. male
You touch her once with your greasy hands
I'm gonna stretch your neck like a long rubber band
She's wearin' a ring that I bought her on sale
And that makes her the property of this U.S. Male
6 A Good Bowel Movement (was 5) - I did a little research and it turns out that a good bowel moment can release endorphins. And so can eating spicy foods. But in my experience, eating spicy foods will lead to a bowel movement that is very far from good.
7 Making people Laugh (was 13) - Making people laugh is the greatest feeling in the world as most funny people will tell you. Relatedly, most funny people will also tell you how rarely they are having sex.
8 Pizza (same) - When I was 6, I played the word pizza in a game of Scrabble. And my dad said, “Wait, you only have one z.” And I brilliantly argued that Scrabble must have wanted pizza spelled with one z because there is only one z in Scrabble. Then my dad challenged. Who challenges a 6 year old in Scrabble? Answer: my dad.
9 TikTok (was 14) Worrying about Tiktok and China is garbage because Tik Tok did not originate in China but in Englewood NJ in 1979 - yeah - with The Sugar Hill Gang’s Rapper’s Delight “a tik a tok y’all you don’t stop. Hotel Motel watcha gonna do today - again, I can keep going.
10 Indoor Plumbing (was 6) - I’m willing to bet that before indoor plumbing was invented someone actually had the idea for it but thought, “Wait a minute. Why would anyone want to take a crap in their own house? That’s just disgusting.” They might not have been wrong.
11 TV (was 7) - I own the best TV available - 25 years ago The top of the line JVC, 200 pound, 36 inch curved screen on sale for a mere $2,000. And it’s now worth - nothing. Actually less than nothing. I have to pay $50 just to take it to the dump.
12 Sleep (was 10) - I’d love to put an insomniac and narcoleptic in the same room and see who loses their mind first. “How can you fall asleep so easily?!” “Well how about you? How can you stay awake so . . . zzzzz.”
13 Breathing (was 16) - My wife thinks I’m too stressed. So she signed me up for classes to learn how to breathe. I know how to breathe! I’m actually pretty good at it.
14 Cereal (up 3) - Let’s talk about amazingness of the back of the cereal box - which got kids everywhere to read. Educators across the country trying to figure out how to get kids to read Shakespeare or the classics - Put ’em an the back of a Coco Puffs. A family size box of Rice Krispies - P\perfect for War and Peace.
15 Air Conditioning (was 9) - Air conditioning might be a bit high. Most people need air conditioning for about 3 or 4 months. Whereas most people need air freshener every day. In fact my wife needs air freshener multiple times per day. All right, let me clarify. My wife does not actually need air freshener that often, she just thinks she does, because she thinks her husband smells.
16 Dogs (New)- Men who say that dogs are a man’s best friend are usually men with no friends
17 Deodorant (was 15) - I use so much deodorant that I’m may be personally responsible for the Ozone problem but turns out nobody really cares about the Ozone, not like I wiped out the erogenous zone. I’m guessing there would be a bit of an uproar if I wiped out the erogenous zone.
18 Pro Wrestling (new) Making the news with the sad passing of Hulk Hogan and super success of Summer Slam, But I’m going to take you back to June 8, 1963: Buddy Rogers steps into the ring for the Heavyweight Championship and loses to who?Handsome Johnny Barend, my dad’s cousin. Now my daughters find it very hard to believe that I was related to a professional wrestler. But find it even hard to believe that I was related to someone who went by the name handsome.
19. Bitcoin (was 22) - A single bitcoin transaction uses as much energy as a US household does in 2-3 weeks. And does the same damage to the environment as driving a car for 1000 miles. Bitcoin’s moto should be : we’ll steal your money - but - we’ll also kill the planet.
20 Summertime (was 11) In 4th grade I learned that summer doesn’t actually end until around September 23rd and I was appalled because summer vacation ended around the end of August. So I started a petition that if they are going to call it summer vacation it should be the whole summer. Got signatures from every kid in my class - and not one parent.
21 The Simpsons (was 19) - I had a roommate named Bruce who was bald and more than a bit overweight. And on Halloween he decides to color his entire body yellow hoping to look like Homer. Instead, he just looked like a fat guy with jaundice.
22 Beer (New) Now there’s good beer, bad beer and Old Milwaukee. Maybe you remember the commercial for Old Milwaukee. “Old Milwaukee - the beer that tastes as great as its name.” I don’t know about you but when I hear the words Old Milwaukee I don’t start salivating like Pavlov’s dog. I mean it’s a great slogan - tastes as great as it’s name. I think they just need to change the name to say - Tits and Ass, the beer that tastes as great as its name. “Dave what are you having tonight?” “What are you kidding me? I’ll have some of that Tits and Ass. That stuff tastes as great as it’s name. Shitty after taste, but besides that . . .”
23 Eggs (Was 24) - They have Omega fats which shouldn’t be confused with fat Omegas - the sorority in Revenge of The Nerds
24 Niagara Falls (up 1) - The reports of people jumping to their death at Niagara Falls are overblown. Most of those took place because that song by TLC hadn’t come out yet. Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls. I’ll sing the whole thing if you’d like. But the other alleged suicides at Niagara Falls were clearly cover-ups. What are you going to tell me that Jeffery Epstein jumped as well?
25 Amazon (New) When people hear Amazon they don’t even think of the Amazon rainforest in or the Amazon river - they think the company Amazon. The only thing that would be more amazing is is if it happened to a company called Earth.
Others Receiving Votes:
Money, Sandwiches, Caitlin Clark, Beer, Coffee, Disney, Cheese, Pasta, iPhone, Spotify, Lego, AI, Rome, Piano, Messi, Star Wars, Shakespeare, NYC, Reality Shows, NFL, Sneakers, Joey Chestnut, Taco Bell, Wine, Superman, Child Birth, Air Fryer, Formula 1, Electric Guitar, Mozart, Ted Williams, The Pope, Bachelor Parties, Steam Engine, Batman, Minecraft. Leg Day, Domination Rankings, Jeep, Couples Arguing Publicly, College Football, Playing Cards, The Beach Boys, Internet, Dating Apps, Fishing, Sports, Winning Olympic Gold, Premier League Soccer, LeBron, Alabama Women's Wheelchair Basketball Team, Dale Earnhardt, Tom Cruise, Goodyear Blimp, Cremation, Mr. Rogers, Quotable Movies, 1st Kisses, Gold, Wayne Gretzky, Jeans, Thumbs, Big Pretzel, Casinos, Inside the NBA, Jim Croce, Leakproof Underwear, Ice Cream Truck, Your Team Winning a Championship, Sliced Bread, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Pancreas.
Top 25 - July 28, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1 ESPN - (up 15) A surprising choice for # 1, that I love. If you go to any tailgate across the country, you will hear guys saying we should be on ESPN. And that's not because they're some kind of super-fans. It's because of their expertise at Cornhole.
2 Instagram (up 2) - I don't understand how Instagram is this high because I don't understand Instagram. Apparently there is something called reels and something different called stories. Why? Why do we need both? I figured out why. It's so old guys like me just give up. Instagram is agist!
3 Sex - (up 4) Sex over Jesus might not sit well with some. But without sex there'd be no life. In fact some people go so far as to say without sex there's no reason to live. And I say wait till you're married, you'll find a reason to live.
4 Jesus (up 2) - I called my very Italian Catholic mother to let her know that Jesus had made it to number four in the Domination Rankings. And she said, "What's the Domination Rankings?"
5 A Good Bowel Movement (up 8) - Based on the big jump I'm guess that our voters do not include many janitors.
6 Indoor Plumbing (down 5) - Indoor plumbing falls 5. Wonder if this means the cost of plumber will also fall. My guess: no chance.
7 TV (up 5) - I know the younger generation gets picked on a lot, but here's how stupid my generation is: when we think of TV we think of cable - literally one in the same to us. And we all hate our cable companies, yet we absolutely love TV.
8 Pizza (up 3) - I'd like to share my thoughts on how to make a healthy pizza. And those thoughts are: there is no such thing as a healthy pizza. If instead of cheese you are using yeast, or instead of sauce you are using hummus, or instead of flour you are making a cauliflower crust - you are not eating pizza!!
9 Air Conditioning (stays same) - Should your air conditioning break I would strongly suggest putting a bag of frozen peas down your pants. I would also strongly suggest not letting your spouse see you putting them back in freezer.
10 Sleep (down 2) - To me the problem with sleep is dreams. Or more specifically my wife's dreams and that she feels compelled to tell me about her dreams. Why? Why? Why? Why would she think I would care about what happens to her when she's dreaming, when it clearly takes every ounce of energy I have to care about what happens to her when she's awake?
11 Summertime (down 6) - Summertime takes a tumble probably because we are approaching the time in Summertime called back-to-school time which to me was not a happy time.
12 Spotify (up 3) - Spotify - where you can find the Domination Rankings podcast, though to be honest, I don't get the popularity of podcasts. They are essentially like listening to the radio, which people got sick of so we got movies, and then TV. I guess we are going backwards. So what's next? Please say it's not reading.
13 Making People Laugh (down 11) - The best thing about it is you don't have to deal with the feeling of not making people laugh.
14 TikTok (New) - I love TikTok because people leave comments about the rankings like - Never Rank Again, But others - like Luka said: Bro, This account is going places. Club Doobie wrote “Fire FYP Pull” - I understand none of that but I’ve been told it’s good. My favorite, however, is by someone called Grr- Ven- Gel -X who wrote, "I love - you - soooo much - big - daddy -please keep posting this."
15 Deodorant (down 12) Deodorant dropping give me hope that somehow someway the top 25 will eventually include farts
16 Breathing (New) - Hard to dispute the importance of breathing - and yet i will try. You see breathing includes snoring. And you may not know this, but snoring can lead to death. As my wife has tried to killed me multiples times in my sleep for snoring. Allegedly snoring!
17 Cereal (up 3) - Growing up, the best part of cereal wasn't even the cereal. It was the prize a joy that the younger generation ruined because they couldn’t figure out you shown’t eat the damn prize. "Well it looks like a whistle. It sounds like a whistle, but it’s right next to all of these Crunch Berries. Maybe I should just swallow it."
18 Bachelor Parties (down 1) - Are they even better than birthday parties? I sat yes! The only thing worse than throwing birthday parties for your kids is going to somebody else’s kid’s birthday party.
19 The Simpsons (up 3) - Here is some evidence of the cultural impact of The Simpsons: Nowhere in a book of babies name, will you find the name Homer.
20 Elvis (drops 1) - Not sure why the voters keep dropping him down. The man has managed to stay drug free for almost 48 straight years.
21 Superman (up 2) - The man of steel has the # 1 movie right now. Quite impressive. Until you realize that one of his main competitors is the Smurfs.
22 Bitcoin (New) - Last year Bitcoin fraud accounted for 14.5 billion dollars lost. Which is only sightly more than my wife gave to some Nigerian prince.
23. Taco Bell (up 2) - Yeah I realize it’s the most popular place for late night food but this month at a Taco Bell, 100 dead cats were found in a U-Haul. Dear Lord, they’re shipping ‘em in. But I think it’s great marketing as it ends the rumors they are serving dog meat.
24 Eggs (down 3) - Don’t know why eggs keeps falling. In one of my favorite movies, Rocky runs through the streets of Philly. Da na nah- Da nan nah Gonna Fly Now! But before he flew what did he do? He swallowed 5 raw eggs. Why? They are considered “the worlds most perfect food”. Eggs are a rare complete protein with 9 amino acids and not one of those acids - is LSD.
25 Niagara Falls (New) - It’s the #1 most visited waterfall in the world. Visited more than Victoria Falls more than Angel Falls. And somehow more than the waterfall called - the toilet. I mean I visit that thing at least 3 times a night.
Others Receiving Votes:
Caitlin Clark, Beer, Coffee, Money, Dogs, Disney, Pasta, iPhone, Amazon, Lego, AI, Rome, Piano, Messi, Sandwiches, Star Wars, Shakespeare, NYC, Reality Shows, NFL, Sneakers, Joey Chestnut, Wine, Pro Wrestling, Child Birth, Air Fryer, Formula 1, Electric Guitar, Mozart, Ted Williams, The Pope, Steam Engine, Batman, Minecraft. Leg Day, Domination Rankings, Jeep, Couples Arguing Publicly, College Football, Playing Cards, The Beach Boys, Internet, Dating Apps, Fishing, Sports, Winning Olympic Gold, Premier League Soccer, LeBron, Alabama Women's Wheelchair Basketball Team, Dale Earnhardt, Tom Cruise, Goodyear Blimp, Cremation, Mr. Rogers, Quotable Movies, 1st Kisses, Gold, Wayne Gretzky, Jeans, Thumbs, Big Pretzel, Casinos, Inside the NBA, Jim Croce, Leakproof Underwear, Ice Cream Truck, Your Team Winning a Championship, Sliced Bread, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Pancreas.
Top 25 - July 18, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1 Indoor Plumbing (up 2) - I think the leap from # 3 to # 1 may be connected to a TikTok comment from "Chris" who said "As a plumber, I feel seen." Then again, he could have been referring to a good bowel movement.
2 Making People Laugh (up 4) - This big jump makes sense only if this includes unintentionally making people laugh, which was definitely accomplished by those 2 people at the Coldplay concert.
3 Deodorant (Down 2) - My wife thinks you should be able to spray deodorant on anyone at any time. Well actually, let me clarify that. My wife thinks she should be able to spray deodorant on me at any time.
4 Instagram (up 6) - Voters, what are you doing here? Instagram isn't even the best gram. You've got Teddy Gram, telegram. Golden Gram, Hologram, Monogram, the boob saving Mammogram, Heather Graham, and Aubrey Graham - aka Drake.
5 Summertime (down 3) - The time of year that everyone looks forward to, until it gets here.
6 Jesus (up 1) - Jesus moves ahead of sex. Not sure how Jesus would feel about that. But I'm pretty sure I know how my mom will feel about me mentioning Jesus and sex together. Yeah, I'm going to get a phone call with a lot of yelling.
7 Sex (down 3) - You should really watch the Sexy Beasts episode of the Ryan Reynolds narrated National Geographic series Underdogs - if you never want to have sex again. Think about your grandparents having sex, but eliminate all of the elegance.
8 Sleep (down 3) - Big drop for sleep. My guess is our voters have been staying in hotels where instead of getting one decent sized pillow you get 4 tiny pillows. Why? Maybe they think it makes the mint look bigger.
9 Air Conditioning - (down 1) - My wife's friend always claims air conditioning gives her a sore throat. I told it's not the air conditioning, it's that she's breathing it in. So just stop breathing.
10 Caitlin Clark (up 9) - So many ways to describe Caitlin Clark - incredible, astonishing, revolutionary and also injured.
11 Pizza (down 2) - One day my dad comes home with pizza and sister's in her room, so I yell, "Pizza!" And she yells back, "Pizza what?" So I'm obviously confused. Then she says again "Pizza what? What did Pete see? " Then I get it - my sister's an idiot. So start heading to her room yelling, "You idiot, I didn't say Pete saw. I said pizza." And that's when I see - she's laughing her ass off. Turns out, I'm the idiot.
12 TV (down 2) - My wife complains all the time that there are 1000 channels and nothing on. So being the good husband that I am, I made it my mission to actually try to prove she's right. And yet she complains that I watch too much TV.
13 A Good Bowel Movement (down 2) - I love a good bowel movement. Yet it's down 2. Clearly our voters are constipated.
14 Joey Chestnut (up 11) - Who eats a hot dog, then the bun. That’s like deciding to play basketball, taking shot, and then going to find a ball to play with.
15 Spotify (up 5) - If you go to Spotify you can listen to the Domination Rankings podcast where you can find out who the idiots were who put Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the list - for the love of God, please vote them off.
16 ESPN (up 7) - Did you know that the Sports Center theme song is almost as recognizable as the Star Spangled banner - which I'd be fine replacing with the Sports Center theme song. And how great that would be? A singer comes to World Series and just belts out Da Da Da - Da Da Da.
17 Bachelor Parties (down 4)- Are bachelor parties better than graduation parties? Absolutely. Graduation parties cost me money and - they rarely have strippers.
18 Minecraft (new) - When I saw this on the list I had to Google it to make sure I knew what it was. It apparently has nothing to do with the craft of dismantling land mines. It's a video game. Has there really been a decent video game since Pac Man? And why isn't Pac Man on this list?
19 Elvis (down 5) - So just had my birthday, and all I wanted was a replica Elvis jump suit. And - I did not get it. Because, my wife knew I'd wear it.
20 Cereal (up 4) - When I was a kid the cereal box served as a wall to shield me from the slurping and drooling coming from my sister’s face filled with head gear and braces. "Da-bid, Plea path duh Cuwunth Bare-weez. Path duh Cuwunth Bare-weez plea. I said plea. No, I not doolin. Whe I spea, I spit."
21 Eggs (down 5) - Without eggs we'd have no cakes, quiches, mayonnaise, hollandaise, soufflé, custard, pastries, pasta, Western Omelette, Veggie Omelette, French Omelette, American Omelette, Greek Omelet, Spanish Omelette, Mushroom Omelette, Cheese Omelette, Ham and cheese omelette, Sam I Am’s Green Egg and Ham And no Meatballs. - including the Bill Murray movie Meatballs -would not exist w/o EGGS!
22 The Simpsons (stays same) - Gotta say it's nice to see Bartman above Superman.
23 Superman (new) - Did you know it took 2 people to come up with the name Superman? "Well, Jerry, we're looking for something that means super man and I came up with - hold on to your hat - Superman."
24 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (new) - 50% of the population thinks of a turtle when it hears Michelangelo. Imagine telling him, "I know you did the Sistine Chapel and the Pieta, but when people hear your name they think of a reptile with nunchucks.
25 Taco Bell (new) - Most popular place for late night food, but to me the difference between Taco Bell and McDonalds is when I go to McDonalds I don't have to ask, "What the hell's a chalupa?"
Others Receiving Votes: Beer, Dogs, Bitcoin, Disney, TikTok, Leg Day, Rome, Thumbs, Money, Pasta, Lego, Amazon, Piano, Wine, Sandwiches, Star Wars, Sneakers, NFL, NYC, Shakespeare. Child Birth, Pro Wrestling, iPhone, Messi, Jeans, Air Fryer, Formula 1, Electric Guitar, Steam Engine, Ted Williams, The Pope, Big Pretzel, Batman, Niagara Falls, Wayne Gretzky. Domination Rankings, Leakproof Underwear, Couples Arguing Publicly, College Football, Ice Cream Truck, The Beach Boys, Internet, Dating Apps. Dale Earnhardt, Sports, Mr. Rogers, Premier League, AI, Alabama Women's Wheelchair Basketball Team, Fishing, Motown, Casinos, Goodyear Blimp, Cremation, Winning Olympic Gold, Quotable Movies, First Kisses, Gold, Henry Kissinger Atari, Pancreas
Top 25 - July 10, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1 Deodorant (up 4) - Am I sure? Well, let me take a little sniff. Nope. Not Sure. Right Guard.
2 Summertime (down 1) - How does this fall? Who doesn't like Summertime right now? We must have a bunch of voters in summer school.
3 Indoor Plumbing (up 5) - Without indoor plumbing there'd be no showers which would be a devastating blow to everyone going through puberty.
4 Sex (up 5) - Big jump for Sex. I'm betting it falls drastically in just about 9 months.
5 Sleep (down 3) - According to my daughters there is no connection between sleep and Gen-Z -Z- Z. I say they are wrong. I mean there are days when they sleep till noon!
6 Making People Laugh (up 6) It's truly a wonderful feeling - says the guy with no audience.
7 Jesus (Stays same) - Thought he might be a little higher because of Xmas in July which, by the way, I despise. Why? It means my wife wants to watch those piece of crap Hallmark Christmas Movies in the middle of July! And I can't even claim there's football or college hoops on.
8 Air Conditioning (down 1) - I think this should probably be "Having Air Conditioning." AC is likely not as much of a positive to those who don't. I just can't picture a couple Samoans sweating their asses off saying. "Isn't air conditioning great?"
9 Pizza (down 3) - I think I have a unique take on stuffed crust pizza. I hate it because - it's fantastic. The whole time I'm eating the pizza I'm thinking I can't wait to get to the stuffed crust. So I don't even enjoy the pizza. Stuffed crust pizza is ruining pizza because it's too good.
10 Instagram (up 4) - Pretty much nobody I know uses Instagram. Though that could be because pretty much nobody I know is under 50.
11 A Good Bowel Movement (down 8) - This drop makes no sense to me. Last week I was so backed up I would have given my one good knee for one good bowel movement.
12 TV (down 2)- I remember my wife telling our first baby sitter that she needed to protect our daughter with her life. So I pulled her aside and said, "Listen don't worry about my wife. You need to protect my TV with your life."
13 Bachelor Parties (Up 12) - Bachelor Parties are not only great parties but also a great movie. Bachelor Party was without question Tom Hanks' best work.
14 Elvis (up 2) - I went to Graceland once and I could not get in. Why? Elvis hadn't died yet Yup, that's how old I am.
15. NYC (up 2) - Why did the people from the city of York in England need to with "New" York over here instead of York? Were they afraid they'd get confused? "Oh My God which York am I in?" Well, do you remember crossing that ocean? Then we're not in England any more!
16 Eggs (up 8) - They have Vitamins A, D, E and K all very important for a healthy life and Scrabble.
17 Child birth (down 4) - So during the birth of daughter # 1, the doctor says, "Ok, I think we just need one more push." And I asked, "Do you think I have enough time to go to the bathroom?" Doc says, "Yeah sure, make it quick." So I'm in the bathroom then I hear, "Ok we're ready to go." Naturally I yell, "Hold on!" Now I can't remember my wife's exact response, but I assure it was not, "Ok Honey, I'll hold on."
18 Leg Day (down 1) - I have done an incredibly intense leg day for decades, and yet when I go to the zoo I still get mocked by flamingos.
19 Caitlin Clark (up 4) - One of my favorite things about Caitlin Clark is that as opposed to pretty much every other woman on the planet, she does not feel compelled to change her hairstyle every other week. Or pretty much ever.
20 Spotify (up 2) - A great place to find your favorite podcast - like the Domination Rankings of Everything podcast - if you don't care how your favorite podcast sounds. How does that company still not offer high resolution audio?!
21 Beer (New) - When I was a kid it never made sense to me that there was a children's song called, "99 Bottles of Beer on The Wall" but my parents would not let me have beer. Eventually it did make sense to me - when I became a parent.
22 The Simpsons (down 2) - Just got renewed for another 4 more seasons. And maybe by then my dad will have heard of it.
23 ESPN (New) - The ESPYs are this week which is apparently for every person in the world with even a modicum of fame. Thus, I was not invited.
24 Cereal (New) - Did you know that Fruit Loops has 10% of the daily recommended amount of Thiamin. Yeah, I have no idea what Thiamin is. But I do know that if I have just 10 bowls of Fruit Loops, I don't have to worry about Thiamin for the rest of the day.
25 Joey Chestnut (New) - Clint Eastwood once said, "Nobody puts ketchup on a hot dog." But he should have said nobody puts a hot dog in water - like Joey Chestnut. Imagine being at a party where they're serving hot dogs and they ask, "Would you like mustard, relish . . " Nah, but you got a spigot?
Others Receiving Votes:
Disney, Formula 1, Lego, Piano, Ice Cream Truck, Pasta, Rome, Dogs, Bitcoin, Money, Domination Rankings, Star Wars, Amazon, Minecraft, Wine, Sandwiches, Playing Cards, Ted Williams, Sneakers, Shakespeare, LeBron, Steam Engine, Motown, Jeans, Electric Guitar, Thumbs, Messi, iPhone, Dating Apps, The Pope, Professional Wrestling, The NFL, Goodyear Blimp, Batman, Sliced Bread, Your Favorite Team Winning A Championship, Alabama Women's Wheelchair Team,Couples Arguing Publicly,Tom Cruise, Quotable Movies, Gold, Atari, Jeep, The Beach Boys, Winning Olympic Gold, Inside The NBA, Mr Rogers, AI, Casinos, Mudslides, Asteroids, Elon Musk, First Kisses, Dale Earnhardt, Shoes, Internet, Jim Croce, College Football, Sports, Twitter Beefs, Women Astronauts, Cremation, See Through Dresses, Henry Kissinger, Pancreas, Leakproof Underwear, Lactose Intolerance, Vent & Duct Cleaning
Top 25 - July 3, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1 Summertime (up 7) - Note this is Summertime, not Summer. Why? Really don't know. Best guess is in the summer days go by so-much-slower - because the damn kids are home.
2 Sleep (up 1) - Might seem a bit to high in the eyes of the residents of Elm Street.
3 A Good Bowel Movement (down 1) - A good bowel movement is not a good bowel movement when you are the one cleaning it up. A little advice there for those thinking about procreation. After 2 kids, and God knows how many diapers, I'm firmly anti-creation.
4 Air Conditioning (down 4) - True story: I got my wife one of those blankets that keep you cool when you sleep. It actually came with directions. Who needs directions for a blanket? Well they read: "This cooling blanket works better with air conditioning." Seriously? And I bet the air conditioning works better without the blanket.
5 Deodorant (up 14) - A massive jump for deodorant likely brought about by our voters being around people without.
6 Pizza (down 1) - Last week my wife picked up a huge veggie pizza because - she hates me. I mean really there can be no other explanation for her getting a pizza covered with vegetables.
7 Jesus (up 5) - Lots of comments on Jesus. Some saying he's too low, or saying he's too high. Which has led to our new motto: The Domination Rankings: We please absolutely nobody.
8 Indoor Plumbing (up 9) - True story: I go out to lunch with my wife and my mother-in-law in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania. They point me to the men's room. But the door leads not to a toilet but an outhouse. This they think is hilarious - until I come back smelling exactly like I've been in a room filled with crap - all because this place is too cheap to get indoor plumbing.
9 Sex (up 2) - So sex is on the list. Child birth is on the list. And sex resulting in pregnancy - nowhere to be found.
10 TV (down 4) - Here are some facts I probably should not be all that proud of. Last year our dishwasher broke and it took me about 3 weeks to get it replaced. Last year my big screen tv also broke - and I had that replaced the next day.
11 Pasta (down 2)- Contrary to popular belief, elite marathon runners do not eat huge amounts of pasta before a race. Makes sense. I mean have you seen these guys? They don't eat a huge amount of anything.
12 Making People Laugh (down 8) - I wonder if the drop is really the voters saying I need to step up my game. Or maybe the jokes have been so good that they voters now think making people laugh is pretty easy. I don't think either scenario is all that good.
13 Child Birth (down 3) - I'm not sure why the word "child" is needed with child birth. I'm pretty sure there is no "adult" birth. For if there was, I would have chosen my kids to have been born post-college.
14 Instagram - (up 10) - I have been banned from Instagram. Though not by Instagram, but by our social media interns. Yeah, they've mandated, "Dave stay away."
15 Star Wars (down 1) - I'm kind of torn on Star Wars. Sometimes I think the movies are really pretty cool. Other times my daughters remind me I have no idea what cool is.
16 Elvis (down 1) - True story: I'm in a bar and a woman starts speaking to me. (Hey it happened!) So I look at her and say, "A little less conversation a little mote action please." And she - throws her drink at me. Moral of the story: if you are going use that Elvis line, make sure you define action.
17 NYC (down 10) - A big drop for NYC. Surprising because the only people who don't like NYC are everyone who live there.
18 Leg Day (up 7) - I figured out a way to get more people to do leg day: make leg day a national holiday. Got to believe more people would do squats once a week if they got a day off once a week.
19 Rome (down 1) - Love Rome, despite the fact that's where I went for my honeymoon.
20 The Simpsons (down 4) - Gotta believe this drop was based on the sadness caused by the recent episode about Marge's death. And to those people I say (1) she didn't really die and (2) she's just a cartoon.
21 Motown (Same) - Just to clarify, Motown is not a town named after Moe from Three Stooges. For if it was, I would live there.
22 Spotify (up 1) - Not sure why the voters bumped it up, but I'm just going to assume it's because Spotify has the Domination Rankings of Everything podcast. What other reason could there be?
23 Caitlin Clark - (new) - People say she has lots of potential. But I'm not sure that's a good thing. I mean, that's what people said about me.
24 Eggs - (new) - They have B2, B5, B7, B9, and B12 which significantly help your chances - at Bingo.
25 Bachelor Parties (new) - Are they even better than New Year's Eve parties? Yes. Because I'm too damn old. I haven't made it to midnight on New Year's since Dick Clark was having his annual stroke on live TV.
Others Receiving Votes
Amazon, Disney, Money, The Domination Rankings, Wine, Sandwiches, Jeans, Sneakers, Your Favorite Team Winning A Championship, Lego, Ice Cream Truck, Alabama Women's Wheelchair Team, Dogs, Couples Arguing Publicly, Shakespeare, Tom Cruise, The Pope, Quotable Movies, Steam Engine, Gold, Mine craft, Messi, Atari, Jeep, Electric Guitar, The Beach Boys, Winning Olympic Gold, Professional Wrestling, The NFL, Formula 1, Inside The NBA, Batman, Dating App, Playing Cards, iPhone, Beer, Mr. Rogers. AI, Twitter Beefs, Fred Rogers, Casinos, Mudslides, Thumbs, Asteroids, Elon Musk, First Kisses, Dale Ernhardt, Shoes, Internet, Joey Chestnut, Jim Croce, Women Astronauts, Cremation, See Through Dresses, Henry Kissinger, Pancreas, Leakproof Underwear, Lactose Intolerance, Vent & Duct Cleaning
Top 25 - June 25, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1 Air Conditioning - (Up 6) - A huge jump to # 1 because of the heat wave. There's nothing I love more during a heat wave than my air conditioning. Though that might change next week. Not because the weather will likely break. But because my air conditioning will likely break.
2.A Good Bowel Movement - (Up 4) - This continues to be my wife's least favorite entry. She thinks it's just crass. No. If we were crass we'd call it a good shit. But because we have class we go with a good bowel movement.
3 Sleep - (down 2 from # 1) They say over-sleeping is a sign of depression. And I say if the only sign of depression you have is over-sleeping, you are doing pretty well.
4 Making People Laugh (down 2) - Nice to see this above sex. Though I've been told more than a few times that for me, the two often go together. I'm thinking that might not be a compliment.
5 Pizza (down 2) - When given the choice between debilitating heart burn or not having pizza. The choice should be easy - debilitating heart burn
6 TV (drops 2) - Another true story - I once had a TV in my bathroom. But not just a TV, but I ran cable in there too. Then something horrible happened - I got married.
7 NYC (up 9) - Quite appropriately called a melting pot this past week.
8 Summertime (up 1) - The most wonderful time of the year - until you enter the work force and realize, "Wait a minute, you mean I don't get the whole summer off?"
9 Pasta - (down 4) So I did a taste test of rigatoni, spaghetti, and rotini. Turns out - they all taste the same.
10 Child Birth (up 4) - Right after my second daughter was born, the nurse asked if I wanted to hold her. And I immediately said - no thank you. I mean my wife once yelled at me for dropping a plate. Got to figure she's do more than yell if I dropped our child.
11 Sex (down 3) - The nice thing about having sex on this list is it allows be to say I have sex.
12 Jesus (drops 2) - Not sure why the voters don't have him higher. Maybe instead of Jesus they think this means Jesus Quintana from The Big Lebowski. Makes sense.
13 Fishing (up 6) - In 2001 a fishing boat called the FV Titanic sank and 20 people died. Moral of the story. Don't name your boat the Titanic.
14 Star Wars (up 3) - I used to have a ton of those Star Wars action figures. But they shouldn't have been called action figures because they didn't do damn thing. They'd just stand there. I'd look at them and say - OK - And - Action! . . . Nothing.
15 Elvis - (down 4) - People think it's sad that he died on the toilet. But I'm thinking what better way to die than knowing that before you go, someone's going to have to wipe your ass.
16 The Simpsons (down 4) - The Simpsons dropped from # 12. But hey, don't have a cow, man.
17 Indoor Plumbing (up 6) - It's considered one of the most transformative innovations in history. In fact it was so transformative there was actually a Transfomer that became a toilet. And it was named - wait for it - King Toots.
18 Rome (up 2) - True story: I once broke off a little piece of the Colosseum. But I've got to give some credit to my wife. There was a guy right there with an Uzi and she distracted him. I can't remember how. Either with her beauty or by farting. But I own a piece of the Colosseum - unless Interpol is reading this, then I'm just kidding.
19 Deodorant (up 5)- Deodorant was invented in Philadelphia. And from my experiences with Philly, it appears the city is still working on finishing that first can.
20 Ted Williams (down 2)- Beloved and revered in Boston. And everywhere else, pretty much forgotten.
21 Motown (up 4) - Motown is so good, that people actually forget it means Detroit.
22 Premier League (down 1)- I figured out why the voters keep this on the list. It's ESPN's fault. They have the voters brain washed into thinking they need to watch the Premier League. Voters, snap out of it!! You really don't like soccer!
23 Spotify (new) I swear to God, I thought Spotify was a stain remover. So when my daughters asked. "Dad, can we get Spotify?" I said sure. Next day I got BBQ sauce on my shirt, and I asked where's the Spotify? And then my daughters laughed at me.
24 Instagram (new) Let me tell you about my experience with Instagram. Took me 2 and a half hours to get a post up. There's nothing "insta" about Instagram. Then I tell people I'm on Instagram figuring they'd think I'm hip, I'm cool. Nope. They think I'm a pedophile! So, yeah I find Instagram not worth the effort.
25 Leg Day - (new) As they say, if you don't have leg day you aren't lifting. Then again, if you don't have leg day, then you don't have a busted back and busted knees. So, tough call.
Others Receiving Votes
Disney, Money, The Domination Rankings, Wine, Sandwiches, Jeans, Sneakers, Your Favorite Team Winning A Championship, Lego, Ice Cream Truck, Alabama Women's Wheelchair Team, Dogs, Couples Arguing Publicly, Shakespeare, Tom Cruise, The Pope, Quotable Movies, Steam Engine, Gold, Mine craft, Messi, Atari, Jeep, Electric Guitar, The Beach Boys, Winning Olympic Gold, Professional Wrestling, The NFL, Formula 1, Inside The NBA, Batman, Dating App, Playing Cards, iPhone, Beer, Mr. Rogers. AI, Twitter Beefs, Fred Rogers, Casinos, Mudslides, Asteroids, Elon Musk, Dale Ernhardt, Shoes, Internet, Joey Chestnut, Jim Croce, Women Astronauts, Cremation, See Through Dresses, Henry Kissinger, Pancreas, Leakproof Underwear, Lactose Intolerance, Vent & Duct Cleaning
Top 25 - June 17, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1 Sleep - (Stays same) - Apparently there's nothing better than lack of consciousness.
2 Making People Laugh (moves up 1) - Not sure I can take any credit for this, but I'm going to.
3 Pizza (Down 1) - Seeing this fall made no sense to me - Until I realized it includes all pizza. And not all pizza is good. They say it's not delivery it's DiGiorno. Yeah right, it's not delivery, it's a piece of crap.
4 TV (stays same) - Back in the day TV used to be referred to as the Boob Tube. But that term isn't used any more because - there are no tubes. You can, however, find boobs, or so I've been told.
5 Pasta - (up one) - I try to avoid pasta because it's high glycemic which means - I have no idea.
6 A Good Bowel Movement - (falls one) - My wife thinks this is disgusting. Well that's because she's visualizing an actual bowl movement. That's incorrect. We're not talking about the result here. We're talking about the joyous post-poop feeling of relief and accomplishment. Ahh, I did it!
7 Air Conditioning - (up 5) - I don't know why they don't just call this air cooling, instead of air conditioning. It's not like the air is getting in shape.
8 Sex - (down one) - Sex drops, and I say good! Nice to know that sex might be an non-dominant a part of other people's lives as it is of mine.
9 Summertime - (up from 13) - Summertime is not only a wonderful season. It's also a beautiful song by Ella Fitzgerald. And now for your listening pleasure - I will not sing that song.
10 Jesus (stays same) - Gotta say I'm a big fan, but an even bigger fan of his birthday.
11 Elvis (down 9) How can you not be impressed with a guy who has the guts to get on stage and call himself a hunk, a hunk of burning love.
12 The Simpsons -(Falls from # 8) I was excited when I heard there was a show coming out called the Simpsons. But that's because I was a Buffalo Bills fan.
13 Money (falls 2) - The best things in life are free. But you can give them to the birds and bees . . .
14 Child Birth (up from 24) Approximately 350,000 people give birth every day. Some might think that something 350,000 people accomplish every single day can't be all that impressive. What I've learned is if you do think that, you should not share that thought with your wife.
15 Sandwiches (down 1) This ranking can be justified in a mere 4 words: Peanut Butter and Jelly.
16 NYC - (up 3) - My only beef with the most dominant city in the world is - it's never finished. There is always scaffolding pretty much everywhere to fix or improve something, Somehow NYC never gets to the point where they say, "Hey, we're done."
17 Star Wars (down 1) - Star Wars haters only have one thing that they constantly rely on: Jar Jar Binx. And to that I say - you're right. He was massively annoying.
18 Ted Williams (up 2) - I get it, he was incredible. But not as incredible as Ted - a talking teddy bear, whose life was made into not 1 but 2 movies.
19 Fishing (up from 25) - Interesting fact. Overfishing in Peru in 1972 lead a complete collapse of the anchovie population. So for about a year it was really hard to find anchovies to ruin a pizza.
20 Rome (falls 3) - This includes the city of Rome, the history of Rome, the empires of Rome, but not that guy named Jim Rome. Probably would be a little lower if it did.
21 Premier League - So the Premier League makes the top 25, but the NFL does not. Which makes sense to me - in no way at all.
22 Jeans (falls from 15) - That's a big drop for Jeans. Maybe our voters need to go watch that Brooke Shields commercial "Nothing gets between me and my Calvins." Just to be clear I'm quoting Brooke Shields here. I wear underwear - when I have a clean pair.
23 Indoor Plumbing (New) - It's easy to forget how much you appreciate indoor plumbing until you step into a port o potty, or as I like to say, a hut of hepatitis.
24 Deodorant/Anti-perspirant (New) - $9.4 billion was spent on deodorant last year. Amazing. Even more amazing, that's up 14.% from last year. At this point you'd think the entire market would be covered - so to speak.
25 Motown (New) - Motown is the perfect music to blare in the car, sing a long with and - embarrass the hell out of my daughters. "I know you want to leave me. But I refuse to let you go."
Others Receiving Votes:
Sneakers, Your Favorite Team Winning A Championship, Domination Rankings, Lego, Ice Cream Truck, Alabama Women's Wheelchair Team, Dogs, Couples Arguing Publicly, Shakespeare, Tom Cruise, The Pope, Quotable Movies, Steam Engine, Gold, Mine craft, Messi, Atari, Jeep, Electric Guitar, The Beach Boys, Winning Olympic Gold, The NFL, Formula 1, Inside The NBA, Batman, Dating App, Playing Cards, iphone, Jim Croce, Beer, Mr. Rogers. AI, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Fred RogersCasinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Vent& Duct Cleaning, Cremation, Henry Kissinger, Pancreas, Leakproof Underwear, Asteroids, Elon Musk, Dale Ernhardt,
Major Contributors:
Jerry Thornton, Mike Rusconi, Emma Hurley and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Top 25 - June 10, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1 Sleep -Sleep over pizza makes sense - only if you are dreaming of pizza.
2 Pizza
3 Making People Laugh - Note that this is Making people laughing not Trying to Make people laugh - my wife said to me
4 TV
5 A Good Bowel Movement
6 Pasta - Has to be above sex. No foreplay with pasta. Never got an STD from pasta. And you can have pasta, and then have it the next day, the next day . . . (Jim Ruberti)
7 Sex
8 The Simpsons
9 Elvis
10 Jesus
11 Money
12 Air Conditioning - Not sure how Summertime and AC can both make the list. Don't they cancel each other out? (Dave Barend)
13 Summertime
14 Sandwiches
15 Jeans
16 Star Wars
17 Rome
18 Jeep
19 NYC
20 Ted Williams
21 Domination Rankings - Almost made the top 20!!
22 Premier League
23 Cremation - In 19 years 81 precent of people will have cremations So it should be ranked ahead of Ted Williams who merely hit 40%. (Jim Ruberti)
24 Child Birth - It’s so amazing to witness, I passed out. When I came to, I said, “Oh my God, look what I’ve done.” My wife immediately responded with, “You didn’t do a damn thing!” (Dave Barend)
25 Fishing. - Fishing is everything. Fishing is fishing. It's also fishing for sex from your wife, fishing for a raise, . . . everything is fishing. (Jim Ruberti)
Others Receiving Votes:
The Beach Boys, Sneakers, Formula 1, Gold, Fred Rogers, Batman, Couples Arguing Publicly, Shakespeare, Tom Cruise, Henry Kissinger, Steam Engine, Inside The NBA, Ice Cream Truck, Winning Olympic Gold, Electric Guitar, Pancreas, Dogs, Leakproof Underwear, Lego, Asteroids, Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Vent and Duct Cleaning
Major Contributors:
Dave Rattigan, Jim Ruberti, Juliana Caravaggio and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Top 25 - June 4, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1. Pizza - #1 yet again
2. TV
3. Sleep
4. A good bowel movement - I had this miswritten as a good "bowl" movement. But when you think about it there's often a good bowl movement with a good bowel movement.
5. Making People Laugh
6. Sex
7. Money - an entry found intriguing by our interns - our volunteer interns.
8. Jesus -
9. Sandwiches - almost nature's best food, almost. (Mark Hoover)
10. The Simpsons
11. Jeans
12. NYC - an accent that could turn the most jacked up viagra user completely flaccid in 4 words or less (Paul Nardizzi)
13. Elvis
14. Air Conditioning - Fantastic, unless dropped out the window. (Mark Hoover)
15 The Pope
16. Premier League Soccer - Turns out there is no league with this name. But there are 4 US leagues that include the word Premier which just seems wrong.
18.Star Wars
19. Pasta
20. Alabama Crimson Tide Women’s Wheelchair Basketball Team - Would easily be #1 if we went by length of name.
21. Domination Rankings - Still in the Top 25, somehow.
22. Canada
23 Summertime - The time when most people do #6 above. So without Summertime most of us wouldn't even be here. (Paul Nardizzi)
24 Rome - Gave us sanitation systems without which a good bowel movement would be much less good.
25 Ted Williams - A prophet: he treated the media like a steaming pile of garbage decades before we realized that's how they deserved to be treated. (Paul Nardizzi)
Others Receiving Votes:
Formula 1, Gold, Fred Rogers, Batman, Couples Arguing Publicly, Shakespeare, Tom Cruise, Henry Kissinger, Steam Engine, Inside The NBA, Ice Cream Truck, Winning Olympic Gold, Electric Guitar, Pancreas, Dogs, Leakproof Underwear, Lego, Asteroids, Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance
Major Contributors:
Jillian Barend, Mark Hoover, Paul Nardizzi and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Top 25 - May 31, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1. Pizza - 4 weeks in a row at #1!
2. TV -Does anyone under 25 use an actual television? Let's just assume this is referring to the "TV experience."
3. Sleep
4. A good bowel movement
5. Sex - So, "a good bowel movement" ranks higher than sex? Yeah, we might need some more voters under 50.
6 The Pope
7. Making People Laugh - You might think there'd be a funny comment accompanying this one. You'd be wrong.
8. Money
9. Jesus
10. Sandwiches
11. The Simpsons - Impressive longevity. But that's helped more than a bit by the fact that nobody dies, or even ages.
12. Batman - Adam West was best. And no George Clooney-esq weird nipples.
13. Jeans - New sequined styles for the summer keeps jeans from a slide.
14. NYC
15. Domination Rankings
16. Shakespeare
17. Elvis - much like air conditioning, Elvis had gas leaks, but his were much funnier.
18. Air Conditioning - needed to avoid booty dew and trench ass.
19 Couples Arguing Publicly
20. Premier League Soccer
21. Alabama Women’s Wheelchair Basketball Team - Our sole connection to college basketball survived another week
22.Jeeps - Yeah not safe, but you go get your super-safe Volvo, I'll cruise around in my Jeep. And when we both get hit by a MACK Truck, I'll die instantly and you'll suffer for months before finally croaking. I win.
23.Pasta - Why pasta? Well, without pasta, no kiss by Lady and the Tramp
24 Star Wars - Made more money than 8 Mission Impossible movies, 8 Lord of the Rings movies, and 9 Ernest movies combined.
25. Canada - Got an unfair bad rap from South Park. And now, we may be Canada's last best hope to remain a sovereign independent nation with an anthem much better than ours.
Others Receiving Votes:
Tom Cruise, Henry Kissinger, Steam Engine, Inside The NBA, Ice Cream Truck, Winning Olympic Gold, Electric Guitar, Pancreas, Dogs, Leakproof Underwear, Lego, Asteroids, Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Whopping Cough, Acupuncture, Mexico
Major Contributors:
Emma Hurley, Mike Dinga, Mike Hurley, and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah).
Videos - Domination Ranking of Everything Show
Top 25 - May 24, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
1.Pizza - Went to the doctor the other day to check my cholesterol and I swear I heard her say "Eat more pizza." I mean that's what I heard.
3.Jesus
5.The Simpsons
6.The Pope - 1.5 billion Catholics might find Dah Pope too low.
7. Making People Laugh - Recent study shows laughter will help cure the health issue plaguing the world over - dry eye disease.
8. Sleep -
9. A good bowel movement - a big part of the day for the over 50 set
10. Couples arguing publicly - a main reason for the existence of TikTok
11. Sandwiches - remember that an Oreo is a sandwich cookie.
12 Money - Some claim it's the root of all evil. We claim it's #12.
13.Jeans - Once split a pair right down the crotch. Swear, I'm not bragging. Happened while coaching 4th grade girls hoops. No I did not get arrested.
14. Winning Olympic Gold
15.Batman
16.Domination Rankings - Might be a little low. And entirely possible that it's way too high.
17. Premier League Soccer- Watched 5 minutes of this last week and then realized it wasn't rugby.
18.Canada - Home of Neil Pert, Michael J. Fox, Ryan Reynolds, Barenaked Ladies and, yeah Loverboy, but they can't all be winners.
19.Henry Kissinger
20.Steam Engine - Without the steam engine there's no Steamboat Willy. And without Steamboat Willy there's no Mickey Mouse. And without Mickey Mouse there's no Disney.
21. Alabama Women’s Wheelchair Basketball Team
22. Air conditioning - great cure for swap ass and butt butter.
23 NYC - Has pretty much everything in the Domination Rankings - Pizza on every corner. Sex on every corner. A good bowel movement on every corner.
24.Elvis - 2 words: The King.
25.Shakespeare -
Others Receiving Votes:
Electric Guitar, Pancreas, Dogs, Leakproof underwear, Lego, Asteroids, Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Whopping Cough, Acupuncture, Mexico
Major Contributors:
Matt Carty, Mike Hurley, Isabella Souto, and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Top 25 - May 14, 2025 - Domination Rankings Of Everything
1 Pizza - Could arguably take up slots 1 through 5 here.
2 Sex - Not sure something should be on the list that most of our voters are too old to even remember.
3.Jesus - In the top 5 despite not having a Fortnight skin.
5.The Simpsons - Monorail. Need we say more?
6.The Pope - Chicago's new hometown hero
7. A good bowel movement - I'm in such need of good bowel movements that I've started drinking prune juice. In fact, when people ask how old I am I now just say I'm prune juice old.
8.Couples arguing publicly
9.Sleep - Love sleep. Sleep everyday. That's addiction
10. Sandwiches
12. Asteroids
13.Jeans
14. Winning Olympic Gold
15.Batman - Does it all and - gives back to his community.
16.Domination Rankings
17. Alabama Women’s Wheelchair Basketball Team - Why? Won last 5 championships in a row. Wow you say? Wow is right.
18.Leakproof Underwear
19. Premier League Soccer
20.Making People Laugh
21.Canada - Oh Canada! I should probably learn more of that song.
22.Henry Kissinger
23.Pancreas
24.Steam Engine - Looking for a renewable energy source? We might have a large amount of steam - like an infinite amount.
25.Shakespeare
Others Receiving Votes:
Minecraft, Playing Cards, Elon Musk, Jim Croce, AI, Messi, Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Whopping Cough, Acupuncture, Mexico
Major Contributors:
Trey Allwood, Adam Cox, Ava DiCecca, and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah).
Top 25 - May 10, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
2. Sex
3. Jesus
4. Elon Musk
7.The Pope
8. A good bowel movement
9. Couples arguing publicly
10. Sleep
11.Winning Olympic Gold
12. Asteroids
13. Premier Soccer League
14.Jeans
15. Money
16.Batman
17.Domination Rankings
18.Sandwiches
19.Alabama Women’s Wheelchair Team
20. Leakproof Underwear
21. Messi
22.Making People Laugh
23. Canada
24. Henry Kissinger
25.The Pancreas
Others Receiving Votes:
Atari, Twitter Beefs, See Through Dresses, Casinos, Mudslides, Women Astronauts, The NFL, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Whopping Cough, Acupuncture, Mexico
Major Contributors:
Mike Hurley, Isabella Souto, Keith Spillette and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Top 25 - April 30, 2025 - Domination Rankings of Everything
3.Messi
5.Elon Musk
6. Pizza
7. Jesus
8.Couples arguing publicly
9. A good bowel movement -
10. The House (A Casino)
11. Asteroids
12. Winning Olympic Gold
13.Jeans
14. Premier League Soccer
15.Sleep
17. Batman
18Sandwiches
19. The Domination Rankings
20.Twitter Beefs
21.Canada (Hating Us)
22.The Pope
23. Leakproof Underwear
24. Women Astronauts
25.Alabama Women’s Wheelchair Team
Others Receiving Votes:
The NFL, Making People Laugh, Joey Chestnut, Lactose Intolerance, Whopping Cough, Acupuncture, Mexico
Others Deserving Praise:
Carolyn Plummer, Paul Nardizzi and Dave Barend (Grand Poobah)
Original Top 25 - April 24, 2025
1. The Pope
2. Premier League Soccer
3. Sleep
4. Sex
5. Women “astronauts”
7.Messi
8. AI
9. Elon Musk
10. Pizza
11. Jesus
12.TV Theme songs
13.Couples arguing publicly
14.A good bowel movement
15.Asteroids
16.Mexico
17.Winning Olympic Gold
18.Whopping cough
19.Acupuncture
20.Jeans
21. Money
20. Joey Chestnut
21. Batman
22. Sandwiches
23."The House" (Casinos)
24. The Domination Rankings
25. Alabama Women’s Wheelchair basketball team
Others receiving votes:
NFL, Making Someone Laugh, Shakespeare, Elvis, NYC, The Simpsons, Indoor plumbing, Taylor Swift, Murder documentaries, Mangos, Words with rules, George Carlin, Wordle, Big Pretzel, Optimus Prime, Darth Vader, Sabrina Carpenter, Penicillin, Slime, Macho Man Randy Savage, Lebron James, Sliced Bread, Love, Ford F-150, Disney, The ring from Lord of the Rings.
Others Deserving Praise:
Trey Allwood, Adam Cox, Whit Henry, Carolyn Plummer, Paul Nardizzi and your Grand Poobah, Dave Barend
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