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  • Writer's pictureDave Barend

Domination Rankings - D1 Men




We at College Basketball Times have decided to take our somewhat successful Domination Rankings concept (ranking together all categories: women, men, wheelchair, D1, D2, D3, NAIA, JUCO . . . .) and apply it to just D1 Men. Uh Dave, doesn't that seem to completely contrary to the purpose of the Domination Rankings and CBT's non-profit mission of equality? Well, we also decided to add a brand new purpose to our mission - providing something our readers actually ask for. So you ask, and you shall receive. Though odds are that you didn't ask, but I assure you others did. I think.


Anyway, these rankings are NOT our assertion as to who the best team is. Instead they should let you know who the most dominant teams have been so far (based on record, average margin of victory [AMOV], and a super secret strength of schedule formula) Make sense? Uh, not really Dave. Then take a look below and I think you'll get it. And you might even get a few laughs. You mean the rankings are a joke, Dave? No, not at all. I did, however, provide some hopefully humorous comments, as did other comedians and humor writers. Though if you feel compelled to laugh at the rankings, that works for me too.


Sincerely,

Dave Barend - Grand Poobah


Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - February 20, 2024


1.Purdue Boilermakers - 23-3 - AMOV - 14.50

Beat 4 Loss Samford & 5L AZ, 6L Illinois, Gonzaga, Tenn, Marquette, 7L Ala, Morehead, 8L NW


2. UConn Huskies - 24-2 - AMOV 18.31

Beat 6 Loss UNC, Gonzaga, Marquette, 7L Creighton


3. Grand Canyon Lopes - 24-2 - AMOV 13.04

Beat 6 Loss SD St., San Fran, 7L Tarleton 8L La-Tech


4.Houston Cougars - 23-3 - AMOV 18.54

Beat 4 loss Dayton, 6L Iowa St, 7L Texas Tech, @ BYU


5. Kansas Jayhawks - 20-6 AMOV - 9.04

Beat 2L UConn, 3L Houston 6L Tenn, Baylor, 7L Yale,TCU, UK 8L Okla (twice, once @)


6. McNeese State Cowboys - 23-3 - AMOV 19.54

Beat 8L @VCU, @UAB





7. San Diego State Aztecs - 20-6 AMOV 8.92

Beat 3L Utah State, 5L Nevada & 6L St. Mary's, Irvine @Gonzaga


8. Appalachian State Mountaineers  - 22-5 - AMOV 11.85

Beat 3L James Madison (twice, once @), 6L Auburn, 7L UNC-Wilmington


9. Utah State Aggies - 21-5 AMOV 10.58

Beat 6L Colorado St, Akron, SanFran 7L UC-Irvine 8L Boise St (twice, once @)


10. South Carolina Gamecocks - 21-5 -AMOV 6.38

Beat 2L Grand Canyon, 6L Ole Miss, @Tenn, 7L UK & 8L Miss St


11.Samford Bulldogs 23-4 AMOV 13.85

Beat 8L Western Carolina (twice, once @), Greensboro (twice, once @)


12. Iowa State Cyclones - 20-6 AMOV 15.31

Beat 3L Houston, 6L KU, 7L TCU (twice, once @), Texas Tech, 8L VCU


13.James Madison Dukes - 24-3 - AMOV 15.78

Beat 6L Akron


14. New Mexico Lobos - 20-6 - AMOV 12.54

Beat 5L Utah St & 6L SD St., Nevada (twice, once @), 7L UC-Irvine 8L La-Tech


15. Baylor Bears - 19-6- AMOV 12.36

Beat 4L Cornell, 6L Auburn Iowa St, 7L BYU, Texas Tech, Fla,


16. Tennessee Volunteers - 19-6 - AMOV 13.20

Beat 6L Mississippi, Illinois, 7L Ala, Fla, @UK, Tarleton, 8L George Mason




17. St. Mary's Gaels - 21-6 - AMOV 16.52

Beat 6L New Mexico, @Colorado State, @San Fran, @Gonzaga


18. Princeton Tigers - 19-3 AMOV 11.64

Beat 7L Yale


19. Arizona Wildcats 20-5 - AMOV 17.76

Beat 5L @Duke, 7L Ala, @Oregon


20. Cornell Big Red - 19-4 - AMOV 9.30

Beat 3L Princeton, 8L Colgate


21. Duke Blue Devils - 20-5 AMOV 12.68.

Beat 6L Baylor, 8L Clemson, Charlotte, @Pitt


22.Colorado State Rams - 20-6 - AMOV 10.08

Beat 5L Utah St, 6L New Mexico, San Diego State, 7L Creighton 8L Boise St, L-Tech


23. Drake Bulldogs - 22-5 - AMOV 11.04

Beat 5L Indiana St, 6L Nevada, Akron


24. North Carolina Tar Heels - 20-6 - AMOV 11.42

Beat 5L Duke 6L Tenn, 8L Okla @Clemson, @Pitt


25. Auburn Tigers - 20-6 - AMOV 15.15

Beat 5L S. Carolina, 6L Mississippi (twice & @), 7L Alabama


26. South Florida Bulls - 19-5 - AMOV 6.67

Beat 6L FAU, 7L Loyola-Chicago, 8L @ Memphis, Charlotte


27. Dayton Flyers - 21-4 - AMOV 9.72

Beat 7L @SMU


28. Nevada Wolf Pack - 20-6 - AMOV 9.46

Beat 5L Utah State, 6L Colorado St, San Diego St, 7L TCU,


29. Alabama Crimson Tide - 18-7 - AMOV 13.88

Beat 5L S Carolina, Indiana St, 6L Auburn, 7L Morehead, 8L Oregon, Miss St.


30. Gonzaga Bulldogs - 21-6 - AMOV 17.74.

Beat 6L San Fran, 7L @Kentucky, Yale


31. Kentucky Wildcats - 18-7 AMOV 10.80

The ‘Cats went down to Auburn and pulled off the upset on Saturday, beating Auburn, to cap a 2-0 week, where they held both opponents under 64 points. The coaching staff found a working Betamax and watched film on how to defend the Karl Malone – John Stockton Utah Jazz pick and roll after getting torched by Florida, Tennessee and Gonzaga. Post game, Coach Cal highlighted the ability to defend the complicated offensive scheme, and committed to travel to Indianapolis on Sunday to further enhance his defensive chops by earnestly studying the defensive display at the NBA All-Star game. Much to the surprise of the Big Blue Nation, Calipari’s contract apparently contains clauses for SEC Championships and NBA "All Star” bonuses based on quantity of UK players in the game only, as opposed to National Championships. This season’s road should end somewhere before the Glendale city limit signs! - Kevin Florenz, honorary alum


32. Florida Atlantic Owls - 20-6 - AMOV 10.65

Beat 5L Arizona, 7L Loyola -Chicago, Charleston 8L UAB


33. Marquette Golden Eagles - 19-6 - AMOV 9.04

Beat 6L @Illinois, KU, 7L Creighton


34. Indiana State Sycamores - 22-5 - AMOV 12.00

Beat 5L Drake


35. Illinois Fighting Illini - 19-6 AMOV 12.40

The Fighting Illini came roaring back, after dropping out of the AP Top Ten, with two conference wins. They destroyed Michigan 97-68 that was even more lopsided than the score indicated. One of Michigan's players is a 3-star recruit from Minnesota named Will Tschetter, pronounced "Cheddar." While that might sound kinda cool for a TV commentator when he scores ("Give me some Cheddah!!"), he still doesn't have one of the top food names in basketball. Here are my all-time favorites. 5. Spud Webb - NC State, 4. Dwayne Bacon - Florida St, 3. Lynbert "Cheese" Johnson - Wichita St, 2. "Hot Sauce" (aka Phillip Champion) - Streetball phenom, 1. Cornelius "Cornbread" Walker - Kentucky Wesleyan  - Mike Hurley


Others Receiving Humor: - provided by real comedians and mostly real humor writers for their alma maters.


Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Men's NCAA D1 (9-16 AMOV -3.44)

Well, will you look at that? By beating Georgia Tech on Wednesday night, ND is now riding a two game win streak after previously dropping seven straight. They now just need to win seven out of their last six games to hit .500 on the year.  That will be tough to do. - Rick Condon


Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (9-15 AMOV 0.38) -

Penn falls to Brown 71-64 as Kino Lilly Jr. and AJ Lesburt Jr. combine for 36 points for the visiting Bears. It’s the most devastating attack of juniors on the Penn campus since the jukebox at Smokey Joe’s broke and played nothing but “At The Hop” by Danny and the Juniors for 48 hours straight. - David Yas


Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (12-14 AMOV 1.42)

Penn State’s week started poorly, and then got worse.  The Nittany Lions lost at home to Michigan St. 82-70, and then went on the road to play Nebraska, where they shot 33% (18-54) from the field and 21.7% (5-23) from 3-point range in a 68-49 loss.  Despite the 19 point final spread, for their part Nebraska tried to keep the game close, shooting 44.3% (27-61) from the field and 19% (4-21) from downtown in a game reminiscent of countless 8U Y-leagues. Perhaps the only thing to look forward to in the near future is this year’s “Return to Rec” annual home game on Wednesday, where Penn State returns to the cozy confines of Rec Hall (capacity 6,502) to play #14 Illinois.  Wear white, if you care. - Michael Dinga Class of '86


Providence College Friars - Men's NCAA D1 (17-9- AMOV 5.77)

For the first time in a while, Providence College put together two wins in a row, keeping NCAA tournament hopes alive beating St. John's and DePaul. The Carter & Oduro road show combined for 58 points against Big East punching bag DePaul (also known as "Of the Paul").  Some other players may have scored baskets, I'm not sure. It didn't feel that way. The Friars did not give much to complain about this week. But I am still going to complain. Hakeem Olajuwan had narrowed his college choices to Houston and Providence, but when he got in the taxi at the airport, the driver told him that the weather in Houston would be a lot more of what he was used to. And so Houston got Phi Slamma Jamma.  Seriously? Cabbie, stay in your lane pal (pun intended).  - Mike Rusconi


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Men's NCAA D1 (16-9- AMOV 7.00)

The Bonnies pulled out a one point overtime victory over Davidson 81-80 in front of a packed house on a frigid alumni weekend!! At the end of overtime there was more drama than a bus full of strippers on their way to the Vatican. Bonnies clinging to a 3 point lead allowed Davidson to rebound their own 3 point shot attempt and take a desperate 3 pointer that went in at the buzzer only to await the decision if the shooter was behind the line or not. The television announcers were screaming it was a 3 pt shot and looking at a foul leading to a 4 point shot and a victory  - but in the end there was no foul and it was decided it was a 2 point shot and a Bona victory!!!! Up next the Bonnies travel to Philadelphia to take on the La Salle Explorers!!  - James Healy


The Bonnies capped off a two win week by edging Davidson 81-80 on Saturday. In the spirit of Lent, the Refs gaveth the three, then tooketh the three away after Connor Kochera’s OT three point buzzer attempt was correctly deemed a two on review. The CBS announcing crew, apparently in a replay blackout cave far far away, suggested there was no clear evidence that would overturn the three call on the court, while musing about a fictitious foul call that was NEVER made…..let’s add non on-site virtual broadcasts from a far to the liability side of the COVID ledger. Nonetheless, a happy Bona student crowd hummed “Burgers and Fries and Cherry Pies” on the march to Hickey….in honor of Charley Pride…as the Bonnies were led by, Charles Pride’s, no relation, 15 points, matched by Chad Venning and Assa Essamvous. - Kevin Florenz


St. John's Red Storm - Men's NCAA D1 (14-12 - AMOV 5.27)

Well, it was another tough week for Rick Pitino and the St. John’s Red Storm. They lost back-to-back road games at Marquette and at Providence.  They are now 2-7 in their last 9 and find themselves on the wrong side of the NCAA bubble. With all that in mind, there’s still the NIT to shoot for.  And remember , you can’t spell PITINO ; without an N, an I and a T. - Brendan Angelini


Stonehill Skyhawks - Men's NCAA D1 - (3-25 AMOV -12.93) -  

3-25 Stonehill Skyhawks have a week between games till they host St. Francis ( PA) University in a rematch of NEC teams. Stonehill lost 72-63 earlier this month at St. Francis where they have an actual 9 hole golf course on campus. If I had a golf course on campus I would have finished with a GPA about as bad as this year’s men’s team's rankings.  -BMC Class of '88


Syracuse Orange - Men's NCAA D1 (16-10 - AMOV 1.12)

There was a storm in Syracuse last week and it wasn’t the snow: fans on the court baby! UNC goes down. A miracle in the Dome!  Syracuse about to run the ta…. Wait, what?  They only scored 60 against Georgia Tech and lost?  . . . Ah well, I was happy for a few days anyway. - John Berardi


Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (21-6 AMOV 9.48)

The Catamounts improved to 21-6 with a road win over Maine. Maine's lack of competitiveness in recent years has led America East officials to consider trading the entire state of Maine to Canada for Prince Edward Island and an Atlantic Province to be named later.  - Clayton Trutor


Washington State Cougars - Men's NCAA D1 (20-6 - AMOV 9.00)

In the midst of one of the best runs in program history, Wazzu will likely enter the polls as it heads to the desert where optimists hope for a split with the Arizona schools, pessimists expect a seed-degrading sweep and realists expect two losses and some kind of inexplicable event that will end all this crazy excitement we’ve all been forced to endure over the past month. - Shawn O'Neal


Yeah, I know the below school isn't D1, but the joke is funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (18-8 AMOV 10.73)

Bentley Men's hoop faced St. Michaels on Valentine's Day.  I think in honor of the holiday, the players should have attempted to kiss every shot off the glass, squeeze  their opponents on defense, hug the baseline and of course, bang the boards.  Bang the boards is a basketball expression, so if you went there, sorry, that's on you. Get some help. - Paul Nardizzi


And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:


Bentley Falcons - Women's NCAA D2 (20-4 AMOV 11.75) 

In last week's CBT Domination Rankings post, I may have jinxed the women's team at Bentley University.  I praised them up and down for their winning ways, and they subsequently got hammered by Assumption, and lost to SNHU as well.  There's the SI cover jinx, and now the Domination Rankings jinx.  In the game against Assumption, the Falcons shot 2 of 16 from the three point mark. That's only two more threes than you and I had, and we didn't even play.  I'm going to try to undo the jinx by saying this two game losing streak is an amazing feat of consistency, backed by a dizzying display of turnover laden basketball and  a sizzling 12 % hit mark on threes. Hopefully they can keep up their losing ways  - Paul Nardizzi


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (12-11 AMOV 1.52)

Penn lost a heartbreaker to Brown in Providence, 61-59, as the Bears' Kyla Jones had a night to remember. First, she tallied her 1,000th career point. With 16 seconds left, she scored to break a 57-57 tie, then broke a 59-59 tie with a hoop to win the game. After the game, Jones won $1 million on a scratch card, took a blue ribbon in a local muffin baking contest and rescued several cute dogs from a burning building. - David Yas


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Women's NCAA D1 (4-21 - AMOV -11.48)

The Bonnies lost against Fordham this past Sunday only shooting 20% from the field.  Ouch 

The last time I saw that number was on a high school Algebra test.  - Isaac Howson


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.





Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - February 13, 2024


1.Purdue Boilermakers - 22-2 - AMOV - 15.54

Beat 3 Loss Samford & 5L Morehead, Marquette, AZ, 6L Illinois, Gonzaga, Tenn 7L @ Wisc, NW, Ala


2. UConn Huskies - 22-2 - AMOV 17.17

Beat 5 Loss UNC, 6L Gonzaga, 7L Creighton, 8L Texas & Butler (twice, once @)


3.Houston Cougars - 21-3 - AMOV 18.87

Beat 4 loss Dayton, 6L Texas Tech, @ BYU, 8L @Texas, @Cincy, Texas A&M


4. South Carolina Gamecocks - 21-3 -AMOV 8.62

Beat 2L Grand Canyon, 5L Ole Miss, 6L @Tenn, 7L UK & 8L Miss St


5. Grand Canyon Lopes - 22-2 - AMOV 13.50

Beat 6 Loss SD St., San Fran, 7L Tarleton 8L L-Tech


6.Samford Bulldogs 22-3 AMOV 14.08

Beat 7L @ Western Carolina, 8L Chattanooga (twice, once @), Greensboro (twice, once @)





7. Indiana State Sycamores - 22-3 - AMOV 13.68

Beat 5L Drake, 8L Bradley (twice, once @)


8. Utah State Aggies - 20-4 AMOV 11.96

Beat 5L Colorado St, 6L Akron, SanFran 7L Irvine 8L Boise St (twice, once @)


9.Kansas Jayhawks - 19-6 AMOV - 9.00

Beat 2L UConn, 3L Houston 4L Tenn 5L 6L Cincy, Yale, Okla, TCU, UK


10 McNeese State Cowboys - 21-3 - AMOV 18.33

Beat 8L @VCU, @UAB


11. Iowa State Cyclones - 18-5 AMOV 16.91

Beat 3L Houston, 5L KU, 6L @TCU


12. North Carolina Tar Heels - 19-5 - AMOV 12.04

Beat 5L Duke 6L Tenn, Okla 7L @Clemson, 8L Wake Forest, @Pitt


13. Dayton Flyers - 19-4 - AMOV 9.52

Beat 7L @SMU, 8L UMass, Cincy, Youngstown, Troy, @VCU


14. Appalachian State Mountaineers  - 20-5 - AMOV 12.83

Beat 3L James Madison (twice, once @), 5L Auburn, 6L Wilmington


15. Arizona Wildcats 19-5 - AMOV 16.62 -

Beat 5L @Duke, 7L Ala, 8L Colo (twice, once @), @Oregon, Wisc


16.James Madison Dukes - 22-3 - AMOV 15.96

Beat 6L Akron





17. Princeton Tigers - 17-3 AMOV 11.80

Beat 8L Harvard, Columbia


18 Cornell Big Red - 17-4 - AMOV 9.14

Beat 3L Princeton, 8L Colgate, Columbia, @Harvard


19. New Mexico Lobos - 19-5 - AMOV 14.00

Beat 3L Utah St & 5L SD St., Nevada, 6L Irvine, L Tech


20. Baylor Bears - 17-6- AMOV 12.13

Beat 4L Cornell, 5L Auburn Iowa St, 6L BYU, Texas Tech, 7L Fla, 8L Cincy


21. Tennessee Volunteers - 17-6 - AMOV 11.57

Beat 5L Mississippi 6L Illinois, 7L Ala, Fla, @UK, Tarleton, 8L @Wisc, George Mason


22. Auburn Tigers - 19-5 - AMOV 15.21

Beat 5L Mississippi (twice & @), 7L Alabama, 8L Chattanooga, Texas A&M


23. Drake Bulldogs - 20-5 - AMOV 10.88

Beat 3L Indiana St, 5L Nevada, 6L Akron, 8L @Bradley


24. Nevada Wolf Pack - 19-5 - AMOV 10.17

Beat 4L Utah State, 5L Colorado St, 6L San Diego St, 7L TCU,


25.Colorado State Rams - 19-5 - AMOV 10.75

Beat 5L New Mexico, 6L San Diego State, 7L Creighton 8L Colorado, Boise St, L-Tech


26. Florida Atlantic Owls - 19-5 - AMOV 11.21

Beat 5L Arizona, 7L Loyola -Chicago, Charleston 8L Butler, Texas A&M, UAB


27. Duke Blue Devils - 19-5 AMOV 12.83

Beat 6L Baylor, 7L Clemson, 8L Wake Forest, Charlotte, @Pitt


28. San Diego State Aztecs - 18-6 AMOV 8.54

Beat 3L Utah State, 5L Nevada & 6L St. Mary's, Irvine @Gonzaga


29. Marquette Golden Eagles - 18-5 - AMOV 10.78

Beat 6L @Illinois, KU, 7L Creighton, 8L Texas


30. Virginia Cavaliers 19-5 - AMOV 10.17

Beat 7L @Clemson, Tarleton, Florida, 8L Texas A&


Others Receiving Humor: - provided by real comedians and mostly real humor writers for their alma maters.


Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets - Men's NCAA D1 (10-14 AMOV -4.50)

Georgia Tech's Men's basketball team suffered an embarrassing 80-51 blowout at home against Wake Forest. The paltry 20 first half points were not only a season low for the Rambling Wreck, but also one point short of the average ACT on an incoming freshman at the University of Georgia . . .Perhaps the similarity in WF's and GT's uniforms tricked the scoreboard operator into switching the scores. There are a lot less plausible conspiracy theories than that these days. - Chris Pelc


Illinois Fighting Illini - Men's NCAA D1 (17-6 AMOV 12.00)

For the third time this year, the Illini were ranked in the AP top ten, only to lose their next game to an unranked opponent. They aren't the only ones with this problem. A stat appeared during the Michigan St. game that said the winning percentage of top-ten teams on the road versus unranked opponents was .428 this season compared to .728 the past five seasons. More evidence that this is a weird year--you need a slide rule to calculate the combined age of our presidential candidates, and the largest demographic of Super Bowl viewers were 12-year-old girls. - Mike Hurley


Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Men's NCAA D1 (8-16 AMOV -3.71)

During their 71-53 loss to Duke on Wednesday, Notre Dame missed 12 straight shots early in the first half and went five and a half minutes without a bucket mid way through the second half. In an unrelated stat, the Irish now have the 346th ranked scoring offense in D1 hoops (out of 351 teams). Actually, no; those two things are very much related. - Rick Condon


Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (9-13 AMOV 1.36) -

Penn fought bravely against Ivy powerhouse Princeton but ultimately fell 77-70. The Tigers were led by sophomore guard Xaivian Lee, who led all scorers with 22 — which coincidentally is the number of different ways his first name has been misspelled by Starbucks baristas. - David Yas


Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (12-12 AMOV 2.67)

Penn State split its 2 games this week, defeating Iowa at home 89-79 and losing at Northwestern 68-63.  The loss to Northwestern dropped the Nittany Lions to a ho hum 12-12 on the season.  And former PSU defensive back Ji’Ayir Brown intercepted Patrick Mahomes in the third quarter of Super Bowl LVIII!  WE ARE!!! - Michael Dinga Class of '86


Providence College Friars - Men's NCAA D1 (15-9- AMOV 5.67)

Providence and #19 Creighton delivered one of the better games you'll see all year...except you probably didn't see it...because it was on Fox Sports 2 which requires a special subscription, not Fox Sports 1.  What was on FS1 you ask? Two unranked women's teams. Priorities.  PC breathed life into their NCAA tournament hopes with a big OT win, and then quickly turned around and exhaled just about all of that life with a follow up loss to Butler. Star player Josh Oduro missed the game for the birth of his child. I mean, come on Josh, it's a kid.  You can always have another one.  Again, priorities.   - Mike Rusconi


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Men's NCAA D1 (14-9- AMOV 6.78)

On Super Bowl weekend, the St. Bonaventure Bonnies played anything but super dropping a 75 - 69 loss to the Duquesne Dukes. The Dukesbrought a 3-6 A10 record into a packed Reilly Center in Olean and completely silenced the crowd all day long. The loss was a devastating blow to the Bonnies chances to obtain a top four A10 finish. Those chances look blown up like confetti in the French Quarter this week. Though instead of in a joyous, picturesque, and bustling New Orleans, in a somber, slushy and desolate Olean. - James Healy


The Bonnies 1st half on Saturday resembled far too many undergrad nights at the Burton….a late arrival hoping for some late game magic. Not surprisingly, the inevitable long lonely walk back to the townhouses was once again the only ticket to be punched. . . .Future home games may include a pre-game scrimmage…..or at a minimum, consideration of free adult beverages to create a little more fan excitement for the early afternoon tip. - Kevin Florenz


Stonehill Skyhawks - Men's NCAA D1 - (3-23 AMOV -13.50) -  

After a nice win against Wagner, Stonehill fell this week to Le Moyne College. Le Moyne was founded in 1946 by the Society of Jesus. I don’t remember anything in my Stonehill Religious Studies course work where Jesus preached beating the pants off another basketball team by 31 points 88-57, but that is what the Le Moyne Dolphins did.   -BMC Class of '88


Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (19-6 AMOV 9.16)

Vermont got past UMBC yesterday on the strength of good ball management, offensive rebounding, and a sweet van that my cousin Reggie leased a while back but hasn't made no payments on yet and don't plan to.  - Clayton Trutor


Yeah, I know the below school isn't D1, but the joke is funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (16-8 AMOV 10.67)

Bentley senior Zach Laput has been named to the Trevor Hudgins watch list.  Most of these awards are named after players long deceased, however, Hudgins just wrapped up his playing career two years ago!  I think instead of a trophy resembling the player the award is named after , in this case the winner of the award should just be presented with, ….well, the actual Trevor Hudgins, until he passes away. - Paul Nardizzi



And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:


Bentley Falcons - Women's NCAA D2 (19-4 AMOV 11.43) 

Writing jokes about losing teams is far more easy than writing about a winning team. (Ask, for example, the writer of jokes for Stonehill Men’s hoop.) Bentley women’s hoop is doing me no favors this season.  The accounting school powerhouse hasn’t  lost a game since December. (That loss was probably a Xmas gift to a school named Holy Name- let’s face it, if they played Scrooge Univ. or Atheist College on December 18th, you really think they’d a lost?). And they have won every game since that loss by nine or more points.  If we add up Bentley's point total and put it in a column next to their opponents point total, in accounting parlance, it looks like we’re cooking the books.  - Paul Nardizzi


Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Women's NCAA D1 (18-5 - AMOV 20.65)

No. 15 Louisville took down No. 12 Notre Dame despite Hannah Hidalgo scoring 30 points for the Irish. Louisville wore special uniforms that night representing their home city and inspired by "bourbon barrels and baseball bats". Bourbon and bats? Bars and axe throwing? Maybe let's stop with the booze and weapons mash ups in the name of entertainment. - Rick Condon


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (11-10 AMOV 1.10)

Penn drops a game to Princeton 67-54 in a game that the Tigers led comfortably wire-to-wire. The loss was doubly heartbreaking for Penn fans who had to stop chanting “Princeton was my safety school” early in the first quarter.  - David Yas


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Women's NCAA D1 (4-19 - AMOV -10.83)

The St. Bonaventure women lost 40-54 against VCU last Saturday. Apparently, the Richmond Rhythm, a former IBL team, shared the Siegel Center from 1999-2001 with VCU. There may be evidence that the Bonnies could have used some of that rhythm: they shot 5-28 from beyond the arc. - Isaac Howson


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.



Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - February 6, 2024


1.Purdue Boilermakers - 21-2 - AMOV - 15.35

Beat 3 Loss Samford & 5L Tenn, Morehead, Marquette, AZ, Illinois, 6L Ala, Gonzaga, @ Wisc 7L NW


2. UConn Huskies - 20-2 - AMOV 17.18

Beat 4 Loss UNC, 6L Gonzaga, Creighton 7L Texas & @Butler


3.Houston Cougars - 19-3 - AMOV 19.64

Beat 3 loss Dayton, 5L Texas Tech, @ BYU, 7L @Texas, Utah


4. Grand Canyon Lopes - 21-2 - AMOV 12.83

Beat 5 Loss SD St., 6L SanFran & L Tech, 7L Tarleton


5. Utah State Aggies - 19-3 AMOV 12.82

beat 5L Akron, Colorado St, 6L Irvine, SanFran & @Boise St


6. Tennessee Volunteers - 16-5 - AMOV 12.48

Beat 4L Mississippi 5L Illinois, 6L Ala, @UK, @Wisc 7L George Mason, NC State, Tarleton, FLA





7.Kansas Jayhawks - 18-5- AMOV - 10.91

Beat 2L UConn, 3L Houston 4L Tenn 5L 6L Cincy, Yale, Okla, TCU, UK


8. South Carolina Gamecocks - 19-3 -AMOV 8.59

Beat 2L Grand Canyon, 5L @Tenn, 6L UK & 7L GW


9. North Carolina Tar Heels - 18-4 - AMOV 13.18

Beat 5L Tenn, 5L Duke 6L Okla 7L WF, @Clemson, @NC State


10. Appalachian State Mountaineers  - 19-4 - AMOV 12.83

Beat 3L James Madison (twice, once @), 4L Auburn, 6L Wilmington


11. New Mexico Lobos - 18-4 - AMOV 16.50

Beat 3L Utah St & 5L SD St., Nevada, 6L Irvine, L Tech


12. Dayton Flyers - 18-3 - AMOV 9.81

Beat 7L Cincy, Youngstown, @SMU, UMass, GW


13. Indiana State Sycamores - 20-3 - AMOV 13.04

Beat 5L Drake 6L Bradley (twice, once @)


14. Baylor Bears - 16-5 - AMOV 13.41

Beat 3L Cornell, 4L Auburn, 5L BYU, Iowa St, 7L Fla, Cincy


15. Arizona Wildcats 17-5 - AMOV 16.95

Beat 5L @Duke, 6L Wisc, Ala, 7L Colo, Utah, @Oregon


16. San Diego State Aztecs - 17-5 AMOV 8.91

Beat 3L Utah State, 5L Nevada & 6L St. Mary's, Irvine @Gonzaga





17.Samford Bulldogs 20-3 AMOV 13.22

Beat 6L Greensboro, 7L Western Carolina


18. Auburn Tigers - 18-4 - AMOV 16.50

Beat 4L Mississippi (twice & @)


19. Florida Atlantic Owls - 18-4 - AMOV 11.77

Beat 5L Arizona, 7L Loyola -Chicago. Butler, Charleston


20 Cornell Big Red - 17-3 - AMOV 9.70

Beat 3L Princeton


21.Colorado State Rams - 17-5 - AMOV 10.27

Beat 4L New Mexico, 5L San Diego State, 6L La Tech, Creighton 7L Colorado


22 Iowa State Cyclones - 16-5 AMOV 17.71

Beat 3L Houston, 5L KU, 6L @TCU


23. McNeese State Cowboys - 19-3 - AMOV 17.36 -966.86


24. Marquette Golden Eagles - 17-5 - AMOV 10.77

Beat 5L @Illinois, Ku, 6L Creighton, 7L Texas


25.James Madison Dukes - 20-3 - AMOV 16.57 - 966.57



Others Receiving Humor: - provided by real comedians and mostly real humor writers for their alma maters.


Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Men's NCAA D1 (7-15 AMOV -3.59) - Pittsburgh beat Notre Dame 70-60 on Saturday as the Irish losing streak hit six games. The Panthers' center, Federiko Federiko, grabbed nine rebounds. That is his actual name and not a typo and the term for that is reduplication. Kind of like when I say that this ND hoops season has been miserable miserable. - Rick Condon


Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (9-12 AMOV 1.76) - In the last three games, the Quakers have lost to the Columbia Lions, the Brown Bears and the Yale Bulldogs (led by guard Danny Wolf). And next up, the mighty Princeton Tigers. The Penn squad is now in such fear of four-legged animals that they cross the street when they see a stray cat. - David Yas


Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (11-11 AMOV 2.68) - Penn State arguably had its best week of the season thus far, securing road wins first at Rutgers 61-46 and then at Indiana 85-71.  Rutgers notably plays its on-campus games at Jersey Mike’s Arena, where first year head coach Mike Rhoades ordered up a #13 Original Italian “his way” in route to Penn State’s first win away from home this year.  “Jersey Mike” Rhoades’s squad followed that up with a #55 Big Kahuna Chicken Cheese Steak—California Style, of course—in garnering their first win in Assembly Hall since 2014.  Following the Indiana victory, “Jersey Mike” Rhoades commented, “Well, I guess they can’t call me ‘Homer’ anymore”- Michael Dinga Class of '86


Providence College Friars - Men's NCAA D1 (12-6- AMOV 8.33) - PC showed some signs that they may have figured out life without Bryce Hopkins this week by giving the Huskies* a rock fight at UConn that was in their grasp despite putting up Andre Drummon-esque numbers from the free throw line.  They summarily followed this encouraging effort by losing to Villanova by 18.  Neat. They can't just lose, they have to give you hope first, and then collapse...kind of like the Bills or the Detroit Lions.  It's a remarkable talent. 


*The UConn mascot is an actual Husky. His name is "Jonathan."  The Washington Huskies mascot is also a dog, but it is not a husky.  It is an Alaskan Malamute (Dubs II...the name is kinda clever).  Even more egregious, there have been several non-husky mascots at Washington over the years!  As a proud Malamute owner, I am offended by the doggy-cultural misappropriation so flagrantly on display by this institution.  This is the worst case of cultural fraud since Cosmo Kramer tried to sell Earl Hackler a group of Dominican cigar rollers claiming that they were bona fide Cubans. This is what happens when the Friars lose so badly, I redirect my anger.  - Mike Rusconi


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Men's NCAA D1 (13-8- AMOV 7.43) - The St. Bonaventure Bonnies dropped a hard fought game to the 21st ranked Dayton Flyers in Dayton OH  76 - 71. St. Bonaventure did a great job defending the ever dangerous 3pt shooting of the Flyers but opened themselves up to down low scoring from Dayton star Daron Holmes who poured in 34 points. Next up for the Bonnies will be the UMass Minuteman in the friendly confines of the Reilly Center. And by friendly I mean unfriendly. - James Healy


St. John's Red Storm - Men's NCAA D1 - (13-9 - AMOV 5.86) - Well, it was a tough week for Rick Pitino and the St John's Red Storm.  First, they went on the road and lost at Xavier, then they lost to #1 UConn in front of a sold-out Madison Square Garden.  After the game, while discussing the state of college hoops, Rick said the NCAA enforcement arm "is of no value anymore" and added that "we need to stop all the hypocrisy of NIL..."  Wait a minute, is Rick Pitino suggesting there is hypocrisy in college sports??? Well, I hope he has some evidence to back up this most serious accusation!   - Brendan Angelini


Stonehill Skyhawks - Men's NCAA D1 - (3-21 AMOV -12.96) -  Logged on to www.Stonehill.edu Saturday only to be surprised that Stonehill was playing right then only to be surprised to see they were winning only to be surprised to see them win only to be surprised by their play by play announcers lime green dress shirt in the post game interview. 

Stonehill beats Wagner in the battle of the Hawks. Stonehill Skyhawks 71. Wagner Seahawks 61.  -BMC Class of '88


Syracuse Orange - Men's NCAA D1 (14-8 AMOV 1.55) - Before March Madness there is February Sadness. Syracuse lost an ugly game to Boston College. A lackluster performance where they couldn’t score 1 point before BC scored 21. Then a solid loss to Wake Forest. Syracuse was perhaps on their way into the most famous bubble in sports. Now you can probably stick a pin in it. POP! - John Berardi


Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (18-5 AMOV 9.96) - UVM hosted Binghamton. I watched the game from the University Mall's Applebee's, which recently lifted its five-year ban on my presence after I plugged up both bowls during a winter 2019 visit.  - Clayton Trutor


Yeah, I know the below school isn't D1, but the joke is funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (14-8 AMOV 10.82) - Bentley lost to Saint Anselm, a school named after Saint Anselm who famously said, "For I do not seek to understand so that I may believe, but I believe so that I may understand. " I've read the quote several times and I believe that I do not understand. - Paul Nardizzi



And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:


Bentley Falcons - Women's NCAA D2 (19-2 AMOV 13.48)-  The Bentley women's team beat American International in Morgan's Message Game, a foundation that focuses on mental health. It is a great organization. Back when I played for Bentley the only message I got from "Morgan" was a written warning that over consumption of this product will impair your ability to drive a motor vehicle. - Paul Nardizzi


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (11-9 AMOV 1.80) - In a crushing loss, Penn fell to lowly 5-15 Yale in overtime, 74-68. Coach Mike McLaughlin lamented, "Sometimes the ball gets stuck with the group we have at times.” To avoid the ball getting “stuck” in the future, McLaughlin immediately banned cotton candy from the locker room. - David Yas


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Women's NCAA D1 (4-17 - AMOV -10.19) - The St. Bonaventure women lost against Davidson 65-57 on the 31st. With 1:27 left in the 1st quarter, Nadechka Laccen received a technical. I didn't know saying Steph Curry was an overrated PG was worth a technical. - Isaac Howson


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.




Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - January 30, 2024


1.Purdue Boilermakers - 19-2 - AMOV - 16.10

Beat 3 Loss Samford & 4L Tenn, 5L Gonzaga, Morehead, Marquette, AZ, Illinois, 6L Ala


2.Houston Cougars - 19-2 - AMOV 21.19

Beat 3 loss Dayton, Texas Tech, 5L BYU, 6L K State


3. Utah State Aggies - 18-2 AMOV 13.75

beat 5L Akron, Colorado St, 6L Irvine, SanFran & Boise St


4. UConn Huskies - 18-2 - AMOV 17.80

Beat 3L UNC, 5L Gonzaga, Creighton


5. New Mexico Lobos - 18-3 - AMOV 15.67

Beat 2L Utah St & 4L SD St. 5L Nevada, Irvine, 6L L Tech


6. Tennessee Volunteers - 15-4 - AMOV 13.42

Beat 3L Ole Miss, 4L Wisc, 5L Illinois, George Mason, 6L Georgia, FLA, Alabama, SU





7. Grand Canyon Lopes - 19-2 - AMOV 12.81

Beat 4 Loss SD St., 6L SanFran & L Tech


8. North Carolina Tar Heels - 17-3 - AMOV 14.10

Beat 4L Tenn, 5L Okla, 6L SU, Wake, Clemson


9.Kansas Jayhawks - 16-4- AMOV - 10.70

Beat 2L UConn, 4L UK, Tenn 5L TCU, Okla 6L Cincy,Yale


10. South Carolina Gamecocks - 17-3 -AMOV 8.75

Beat 2L Grand Canyon, 4L UK, 6L GW & Miss. St


11 Iowa State Cyclones - 16-4 AMOV 18.70

Beat 2L Houston, 4L KU, 5L TCU, 6L KState


12. Appalachian State Mountaineers  - 17-4 - AMOV 13.52

Beat 3L James Madison (twice) and 4L Auburn


13.McNeese State Cowboys - 18-2 - AMOV 17.95


14. Texas Tech Red Raiders 16-3 AMOV 10.00

Beat 5L BYU & Okla, 6L K State


15.Kentucky Wildcats - 15-4 - AMOV - 12.26

Beat 3L UNC, 6L Miami, FLA, Miss St, Georgia


16.Princeton Tigers - 15-2 AMOV 13.24 - 980.74





17.Samford Bulldogs 18-3 AMOV 13.33

Beat 5L W Carolina & 6L Greensboro


18 Indiana State Sycamores - 18-3 - AMOV 13.62

Beat 6L Bradley (twice)


19. Drake Bulldogs - 17-4 - AMOV 12.29

Beat 3L Indiana St. & 5L Akron & Nevada


20 Cornell Big Red - 15-3 - AMOV 9.89

Beat 2L Princeton


21 Wisconsin Badgers - 16-4 - AMOV 9.10

Beat 5L UVA, Marquette, NW, 6L Nebraska


22. Baylor Bears - 14-5 AMOV - 14.00

Beat 3L Cornell, 4L Auburn, 5L BYU, 6L FLA, Cincy


23. San Diego State Aztecs - 16-4 AMOV 9.50

Beat 5L Gonzaga, Nevada & 6l St. Mary's, Irvine


24. Dayton Flyers - 16-3 - AMOV 9.42

Beat 6L Cincy & Youngstown


25 Mississippi Rebels - 17-3 - AMOV 6.35

Beat 5L Memphis, 6L FLA



Others Receiving Humor: - provided by real comedians and mostly real humor writers for their alma maters.


Illinois Fighting Illini - Men's NCAA D1 (15-5 AMOV 13.45) The Fighting Illini suffered a loss to Northwestern, whom they had beaten by 30 points earlier in the season. And two weeks ago, U of I lost to Maryland. Those losses both came right after Illinois achieved a top ten ranking in the AP. But that's how it's been for top ten teams all season long. Each week it seems, top ten teams are losing to unranked opponents. I haven't seen favorites lose so badly to undermatched teams since Clinton lost to Trump in 2016. While the reason for Illini's losses can be chalked up to poor shooting and bad defense, Hillary's loss was simply due to the fact that people really can't stand her.  - Mike Hurley


Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Men's NCAA D1 (7-11 AMOV -2.33) - ND Coach Micah Strawberry continues to search for ways to turn things around. Last Wednesday night against Miami, he benched his two primary big men for the entire second half and effectively went with a five guard lineup. Five guards ... bold! But I have questions. Did it work? Uh, No - lost the game (and the second half). OK, but did it spark the team to victory in their next game? Uh, still No - lost again on Saturday to Boston College. Thank you, nothing further. - Rick Condon


Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (9-10 AMOV 3.26) - Penn falls to Columbia 84-81 in a squeaker. The Quakers had trouble containing Geronimo Rubio De La Rosa (5 for 9 in 3-pointers), who not only was instrumental in defeating Penn, but also somehow managed to outscore the number of letters in his name, 24-21. - David Yas


Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (9-11 AMOV 1.50) - Penn State lost at home to Minnesota 83-74 in its only game of the week, frittering away a 45-31 halftime lead before the largest crowd of the season.  The game was Penn State’s annual THON game, where the student section and in-game activities help to raise awareness for Penn State’s annual dance marathon towards the fight against childhood cancer—the largest student-run philanthropy in the world, having raised over $219 million since it began.  THON efforts culminate with a 46-hour, no-sitting, no-sleeping dance marathon each February.  This particular writer took part in said dance marathon as a senior in 1986–where after standing, dancing, and continuously swaying for 40 hours developed what can best be described by the medical term “dancing mania”, with the uncontrollable feeling of having to keep dancing (in my case to avoid dizziness and the gym swaying if I stood still).  After then surviving the final 6 hours, I collapsed in a heap shortly thereafter—sort of like the Nittany Lions did in the second half.- Michael Dinga Class of '86


Providence College Friars - Men's NCAA D1 (12-6- AMOV 8.33) - PC got back on the horse with two conference wins, one by raiding the Seton Hall Pirates, and the other by beating the Georgetown Ed Cooleys, which at this point was the only game that mattered anymore.  Twitter videos showed PC students partying at 8 AM to prep for the 12:30 game, prompting the Big East to warn fans ahead of time to "not throw anything on the court" or risk forfeit. Now THAT'S the school I remember attending!  Devin Carter hit a three pointer from basically Massachusetts right in front of Cooley, and did a Dominique windmill slam to end the game. It was fun.  - Mike Rusconi  


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Men's NCAA D1 (11-6- AMOV 8.29) - The St Bonaventure Bonnies (12-7) continued their Jeckyl and Hyde routine in front of a national tv ESPN2 crowd against A 10 rival St Joe's. The same team that could only score 15 points in the first half just last week  scored a decisive 91-72 win over St Joe's in a very energetic Reilly Center. Leading the way were Darry Banks (29) , Moses Flowers (23) and Chad Venning (21). Next up for the Bonnies will be VCU Tuesday night and all will be waiting to see will it be Superman who takes the court ? Or will it be Clark Kent & Jimmy Olsen? - James Healy


St. John's Red Storm - Men's NCAA D1 - (13-7 - AMOV 7.65) - After a difficult 1 point home loss to Marquette, Rick Pitino and the St. John’s RedStorm blew out Villanova by 20 at Madison Square Garden, completing their first series sweep since 1993, and holding Villanova to a season low 50 points. You know, I can’t put my finger on it , but something is just not Wright with the Wildcats these days. - Brendan Angelini


Stonehill Skyhawks - Men's NCAA D1 - (2-20 AMOV -14.36) - With Stonehill losing a heartbreaking buzzer beater 63-60 against LIU, the Skyhawks fall to an overall 2-20 record.  That equates to a .091 winning percentage.  .091 also equates to my Statistics grade sophomore year. -BMC Class of '88


Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (16-5 AMOV 9.24) - We in Vermont were in for a big storm this weekend. I got prepared. Headed down to Dollar General and bought some hamburger helper, a carton of Winstons, and three Harlequin romance novels. - Clayton Trutor


Yeah, I know the below school isn't D1, but the joke is funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (13-7 AMOV 11.40) - Zach Laput has been named to the Bevo Francis watch list which comprises 100 of the top players in the country in all different divisions. I had to Google who Bevo Francis was and according to Wikipedia, he's the guy that they named the Bevo Francis award after.  This is why I donate to Wikipedia. - Paul Nardizzi


And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:


Bentley Falcons - Women's NCAA D2 (16-2 AMOV 13.00)- I did a deep dive on Bentley University women's basketball coach C White.  I was interested in what C was short for and apparently it's not short for anything. Her name is C.  A single letter first name.  Often, I'm sure, confused with the word see.  And sea.  And cee. And si.  See? - Paul Nardizzi


Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Women's NCAA D1 (15-4 AMOV 21.89) - ND thumped the mighty UCONN women on their home floor, 82-67, ending the Huskies' 13 game winning streak on Saturday. It was a matchup that also featured two emerging young guards who both go by the first name "KK" (Arnold for UCONN and Bransford for ND). While I know there is a Kardashian joke in there somewhere, it is not coming to me and I am at deadline. - Rick Condon


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (10-8 AMOV 1.17) - According to the Penn Athletics website, the Quakers were “outpaced” by Columbia by a score of 85-55. Outpaced. It reminds me of the 1984 presidential election when Ronald Reagan “outpaced” Walter Mondale in electoral votes, 525-13. - David Yas


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Women's NCAA D1 (4-16 - AMOV -10.30) - It was crazy seeing a Dani Haskell half court buzzer-beater to end the first quarter against Saint Joseph's. 

It's even crazier learning that the Hawk mascot gets full scholarship. - Isaac Howson


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.











Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - January 23, 2024


1.Houston Cougars - 16-2 - AMOV 22.89 - beat 2 loss Dayton & 3L Texas Tech


2.Purdue Boilermakers - 17-2 - AMOV - 15.68 -beat 2L Samford & 4L AZ, Tenn & Illinois


3.Princeton Tigers - 15-1 AMOV 15.00


4. Utah State Aggies - 17-2 AMOV 14.16 - beat 3L Colorado St. & 4L Akron and SFran


5. Auburn Tigers - 16-2 AMOV 18.44 - beat 3L Ole Miss


6. UConn Huskies - 17-2 - AMOV 16.47 - Beat 3L UNC




7.Kansas Jayhawks - 16-3- AMOV 11.47 - beat 2L UConn, 3L UK & Okl & 4L Tenn


8. Grand Canyon Lopes - 17-2 - AMOV 13.74 - beat 4 Loss SD St.


9. James Madison Dukes - 17-2- AMOV 16.74 -985.24


10.McNeese State Cowboys - 16-2 - AMOV 16.56 - 984.56


11.Samford Bulldogs 17-2 AMOV 15.11 -983.61


12. Drake Bulldogs - 16-3 - AMOV 13.00 Beat 3L Indiana St. & 4L Akron & Nevada


13. Dayton Flyers - 15-2 - AMOV 10.12 - 977.62


14. New Mexico Lobos - 16-3 - AMOV 14.47 - Beat 2L Utah St & 4L SD St. - 977.47


15. North Carolina Tar Heels - 16-3 - AMOV 14.47 - Beat 3L Oklahoma & 4L Tenn - 974.97


16. S.Carolina Gamecocks - 15-3 -AMOV 8.33 - beat 2L Grand Canyon, 4L GW






17.Kentucky Wildcats - 14-3 - AMOV - 14.35 - Beat 3L UNC


18. Texas Tech Red Raiders 15-3 AMOV 10.50 - Beat 4L BYU & KState


19.Colorado State Rams - 15-3 - AMOV 12.33 - beat 3L NM - 967.33


20. Oklahoma Sooners - 15-3 - AMOV 14.22 - Beat 4L Iowa St.


21. Indiana State Sycamore - 16-3 - AMOV 14.26 - 962.26


22. Baylor Bears - 14-3 AMOV - 15.94 - Beat 2L Auburn, 4L Cornell & BYU


23. App State Mountaineers - 15-4 - AMOV 14.11 Beat 2L Auburn & James Madison


24.Mississippi Rebels - 15-3 - AMOV 5.44 - beat 4 loss Memphis -957.44


25. Tennessee Vols - 14-4 - AMOV 13.44 - Beat 3L Ole Miss & 4L Wisc & Illinois



Others Receiving Humor: - provided by real comedians and mostly real humor writers for their alma maters.



Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets- Men's NCAA D1 (9-9 AMOV -1.67) Georgia Tech chocked at home once again. They are now thinking of changing their home uniforms to navy, silver and white with big stars. - Chris Pelc


Illinois Fighting Illini - Men's NCAA D1 (14-4 AMOV 14.78) This week, Illinois vaulted back into the top ten in the AP rankings after Big 10 wins against Michigan and Rutgers. The Fighting Illini did so by continuing to dominate on the boards and playing suffocating defense. They held those two teams to a combined 22% on 3-point shooting, which is coincidentally the same percentage as Buffalo Bills kickers' field goal percentage in postseason games.  - Mike Hurley


Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Men's NCAA D1 (7-11 AMOV -2.33) - This past week Boston College came back late to beat Notre Dame, 63-59. But let's not focus on that. Rather, let's reflect on two things; 1. Last Friday was the 50th anniversary of the Fighting Irish's legendary upset of UCLA; ending their 88 game win streak. and 2. This (unrelated) quote from that UCLA team's center, Bill Walton, "My bike is my gym, my wheelchair and my church all in one". Ummm, what?   - Rick Condon


Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (9-9 AMOV 3.61) - Penn falls to Harvard 70-61 in Philadelphia. But the ultimate indignity was Harvard math majors holding calculators and chanting Penn’s dwindling win-expectancy in the final minutes of the game. - David Yas


Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (8-9 AMOV 2.76) - This week’s journey for Penn State was again a tale of 2 seasons.  The Lions first defeated highly ranked Wisconsin 87-83 at home, then lost on the rhoad to that team from Ohio 79-67. After the home win, fans stormed the court—no doubt a reflection of extended pregaming afforded students after classes were cancelled due to bad weather.  With this latest rhoad loss, the Nittany Lions are now winless on the rhoad for the season—prompting first year head coach Mike Rhoades to officially change his last name to Homer. - Michael Dinga Class of '86


Providence College Friars - Men's NCAA D1 (12-6- AMOV 8.33) - Bryce Hopkins Vigil, Week 3:  Friars seemingly have found a path to the Big Dance...just play DePaul every game for the rest of the season. - Mike Rusconi


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Men's NCAA D1 (11-6- AMOV 8.29) - After beating the Rhode Island Rams by 35 points the St. Bonaventure Bonnies dipped back down and lost a game to the George Mason Patriots  69 -60.  It's been a real roller coaster ride for the Bonnies this year with fans never knowing what to expect. Next week the Bonnies travel to Pittsburgh to take on Duquesne - will it be Jeckyl or Hyde? Bonnie or Clyde who show up for the Bonnies?  Nobody knows - tune in !  - James Healy


Stonehill Skyhawks - Men's NCAA D1 - (2-19 AMOV -14.90) - In a loss to Merrimack this week Stonehill Men’s basketball used its 12th different starting line up tying it for third most in the country in the Division 1 level. Nice to be so highly ranked in something!

 -BMC Class of '88


Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (14-5 AMOV 9.32) - Vermont traveled to Binghamton on Thursday night and pummeled the Bearcats, 82-62. The people in Binghamton welcomed the visitors from Burlington with hearty handshakes and slaps on the back. Typically, people only stop in Binghamton if they need lunch on the drive from New York to Buffalo. - Clayton Trutor


Yeah, I know the below school isn't D1, but the joke is funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (12-6 AMOV 11.56) - Bentley men’s hoop defeated Pace to move into third place in the conference.  Kellan Bochenek hit six three pointers, all from the left side of the court.   I can relate as I only played on one side of the court when I played: the offensive end. - Paul Nardizzi


And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:


Bentley Falcons - Women's NCAA D2 (14-2 AMOV 12.62)- Bentley women’s basketball crushed Southern Connecticut by 19 pts, holding them to 28% from the floor and 15% from distance; prompting the Southern Connecticut coach to inspect the rims at halftime to see if they had been replaced by the rims used at local carnivals. Several players were seen leaving the gym after the loss clutching giant stuffed animals. - Paul Nardizzi


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (10-7 AMOV 3.00) - Penn took a tough loss to Harvard, 69-56, as Crimson  junior Harmoni Turner tied her career-high of 31 points and added 10 rebounds, six assists and two steals. Then she took a seat on the Harvard bench and completed a term paper on quantum physics.  - David Yas 


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Women's NCAA D1 (4-14 - AMOV -8.89) - A look at the box score showed "M. McConnell" led Duquesne to a 76-67 win over Bonaventure with a game high 17 points. Really impressive given that I’m pretty sure that a month or so ago I saw M. McConnell catatonic on Capitol Hill. - Isaac Howson


Stonehill Skyhawks - Women's NCAA D1 (2-17 AMOV -18.95) - In a recent win over Wagner, Stonehill Women’s basketball junior guard Sharn Hayward made 11 3-point shots and was featured on ESPN. The only time anyone was on TV when I was at Stonehill was when there was a fight in a bar in Brockton and the local news was slow. 


Sharn is from Penguin, Tasmania (population 6,729) which is known for penguins and is 10,529 miles from Boston.  How do you convince your athletic director that you need to go on a recruiting trip almost as far away as the sun?  “Hey Boss!  I really need to go see this shooter from down under. There’s more penguins than people living there, but she can really shoot the rock”. Congratulations Sharn!   -BMC Class of '88


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.


Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - January 17, 2024


1. Grand Canyon Lopes - 16-1 - AMOV 15.00 - beat 3 Loss SD St. & 4 Loss San Fran


2.Kansas Jayhawks - 15-2- AMOV 12.88 - beat 3L UK & UConn, & Okl & 4L Tenn and TCU


3.Mississippi Rebels - 15-1 - AMOV 8.12 - beat 2 loss Memphis & 4 loss NC St


4.Purdue Boilermakers - 16-2 - AMOV - 15.78 -beat 2L Samford & 4L AZ, Tenn &Illinois


5.Princeton Tigers - 14-1 AMOV 15.47


6.Houston Cougars - 14-2 - AMOV 23.38 - beat 2 loss Dayton






7. Utah State Aggies - 16-2 AMOV 13.78 - beat 3L Colorado St. & 4L Akron and SFran


8. UConn Huskies - 15-2 - AMOV 17.53 - Beat 3L UNC & 4L Texas


9. Baylor Bears - 14-3 AMOV - 15.94 - Beat 2L Auburn, 3L Cornell, BYU & 4L Cincy


10. Texas Tech Red Raiders 14-2 AMOV 12.81 - Beat 4L Texas & KState


11. BYU Cougars - 14-3 AMOV 22.06 - Beat 3L SD St & 4L NC St & Iowa St


12. Nevada Wolf Pack - 15-2 - AMOV 13.76 - beat 4L TCU


13. Auburn Tigers - 14-2 AMOV 18.38


14.McNeese State Cowboys - 14-2 - AMOV 17.69


15 James Madison Dukes - 15-2- AMOV 16.71


16.Samford Bulldogs 16-2 AMOV 15.56





17. Dayton Flyers - 14-2 - AMOV 8.62 - Beat 4L Cincy


18. S.Carolina Gamecocks - 14-3 -AMOV 8.06 - beat 1L Grand Canyon, 3L GW & 4L Miss St.


19. Drake Bulldogs - 14-3 - AMOV 10.41 Beat 2L Nevada, 3L Indiana St. & 4L Akron


20. New Mexico Lobos - 15-3 - AMOV 14.22 - Beat 2L Utah St & 3L SD St.


21. North Carolina Tar Heels - 13-3 - AMOV 14.25 - Beat 3L Oklahoma & 4L Tenn & NCSt


22. Memphis Tigers - 15-2 - AMOV 7.41


23.Kentucky Wildcats - 12-3 - AMOV - 14.80 - Beat 3L Miami & UNC


24.Colorado State Rams - 14-3 - AMOV 12.88 - beat 3L NM & 4L Creighton


25. Duke Blue Devils - 13-3 - AMOV 15.94 - Beat 3L Baylor



Others Receiving Humor: - provided by real comedians and mostly real humor writers for their alma maters.


Illinois Fighting Illini - Men's NCAA D1 (12-4 AMOV 14.25) The Fighting Illini succumbed to an inevitable loss to an unranked team on Sunday as they joined seven other top ten teams to do so this week. Illinois only managed to shoot 32.8% from the field. While that is a horrible stat it's still probably a higher percentage than what DeSantis and Haley will get combined in the Iowa Caucus against Trump...and it didn't cost them $70 million. - Mike Hurley


Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Men's NCAA D1 (7-10 AMOV -2.24) - Busy week for the Florida State athletic department. On Saturday, the Seminoles hoops team beat Notre Dame 67-58 for their fourth straight win. Two days prior, their football team was sanctioned by the NCAA for NIL rules violations. Come on, FSU , everyone knows cheating never pays off in the end. Just ask Michigan. Oh. Wait. - Rick Condon


Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (9-7 AMOV 5.69) - Penn spent a week off prepping for a big matchup against Cornell. Fans of “The Office” are just wondering whether the a cappella group Here Comes Treble will sing the national anthem. - David Yas


Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (8-9 AMOV 2.76) - Penn State lost both of their 2 games this week—a home loss in a tightly contested affair to Northwestern 76-72 and an away loss to consensus #1 Purdue 95-78 in a game where the final score was much closer than the actual game ever was.  After hours of extensive research—including in-depth analysis of both pre-game info and post-game pressers from the coaches—as well as careful consideration of where this leaves the 8-9 Nittany Lions, my esteemed and informed take on the current state of play from this team is, in a word, “Meh”. - Michael Dinga Class of '86


Providence College Friars - Men's NCAA D1 (11-6- AMOV 6.59) - Bryce Hopkins Post Mortem Entry Week 2:  PC loses a bunch of games but lands a top tier recruit, which will be great for a year before he transfers.  You know it's a tough season when you are excited about players that haven't played yet.  I guess this is what it's like to be a Jets fan.  - Mike Rusconi


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Men's NCAA D1 (10-5- AMOV 7.67) - St Bonaventure dropped an 80 - 74 A10 game at home to the Fordham Rams. Chad Venning again led the Bonnies in scoring while Charles Pride recorded a double double but it still wasnt quite enough! The loss was a wasted opportunity for the Bonnies to improve to 2-1 in A10 play - but that pales in comparison as to how coach Schmidt keeps wasting 6ft8 Barry Evans on the bench - only giving him 7 minutes of play even though he is in the top 3 for steals and rebounding. Wasted away in Bonanationville!! - James Healy


St. John's Red Storm - Men's NCAA D1 (12-5 - AMOV 8.76) - Rick Pitino doesn’t take losing lightly. Following the Red Storm’s 66–65 loss to Creighton on Saturday in Omaha, Pitino offered a rather blunt statement on the loss: “I don’t feel good when we lose. I f------ hate the world. . . . I don’t believe in those ‘valiant efforts’ on the road. I feel like I want to kill myself, jump in the cold and die of frostbite.” Message to the SJU players: Temps this week in NYC will be well below zero so If you like your coach I suggest you beat both Seton Hall and Marquette! - Brendan Angelini


Stonehill Skyhawks - Men's NCAA D1 - (2-16 AMOV -15.56) - With Stonehill’s non-conference play thankfully in the rear view mirror they can say goodbye to the 30+ point drubbings to the more watchable NEC conference losses such as the one this week to LIU where they lost by a mere five points (73-68).  Having such a tough start to the season Stonehill has only 14 remaining games to hit their stride. The good news these guys only have to endure 14 more games till they can plan for senior week on Cape Cod. -BMC Class of '88


Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (13-5 AMOV 8.72) - UVM fandom had their mind elsewhere this week as sports gambling began in Vermont on Thursday. Rather than seeing the Catamounts beat NJIT on Saturday, most of their fans spent the day coming to the realization that Bonus Bets on Fan Duel isn't just money you can withdraw to spend on Genny Cream and Hot Pockets. - Clayton Trutor


Washington State Cougars - Men's NCAA D1 (12-5 - AMOV 8.71) Arizona took an unbecoming loss on Saturday in its last trip to Pullman as a member of the Pac-12 and coach Tommy Lloyd suffered a mild injury when he picked up his bag at the airport, which was heavier than normal because Washington State football coach Jake Dickert had stowed away for the trip from Pullman to Tucson. Reached for comment, Dickert said he was happy in his role and had no interest in the Arizona football job. - Shawn O'Neal


Yeah, I know the below school isn't D1, but the joke is funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (10-6 AMOV 12.06) - Bentley hit on 23 three pointers to shatter the school record in a 106-71 win over Felician!  I think as a coach, what I’d tell my players after a loss like that is, if we don’t count their layups, mid range shots, dunks and all the free throws, we won this sucker 71-69. Good job. - Paul Nardizzi


And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:


Bentley Falcons - Women's NCAA D2 (13-2 AMOV 12.20)- Bentley downed Malloy in the first of its four game religious section of the schedule. It will face Holy Family next, then Assumption and finally St. Rose.  Not sure if these schools have stained glass backboards. - Paul Nardizzi


Marietta College Pioneers - Women's NCAA D3 - (10-5 AMOV 8.33) - Marietta College plays its home basketball games in the famed Ban Johnson Field House, named after one of its famous alumnus who went on to become the founder and first president of baseball’s American League.  The Johnson family is happy to have been recognized this way, particularly in contrast with the "honor" received when a town Kansas decided to name its collegiate summer baseball team after him: the Bee Jays. - Mark Hoover


Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Women's NCAA D1 (12-3 AMOV 25.73) - From the advanced Irish analytics department: On Thursday, Notre Dame waxed Boston College by 50 points, 98-48. Up the road a couple hours later, the Milwaukee Bucks trounced the not-so-lucky Boston Celtics by 33 points, 135-102. A rollercoaster, indeed, but the Leprechaun emerged from his busy night in the Midwest with a respectable +17. - Rick Condon


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (9-6 AMOV 3.40) - Penn’s tallest player is 6-4 Dutch standout Floor Toonders. No word on whether her teammates call her “Ceiling.” But they should. C’mon. - David Yas 


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Women's NCAA D1 (4-12 - AMOV -7.69) - George Washington defeated the Bonnies 78-62 on Sunday despite having to trek there in a massive storm. Predictable. GW knows how to get results during bad weather ever since Valley Forge. - Isaac Howson


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.




Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - January 9, 2024


1.Houston Cougars - 14-0 - AMOV 27.00 - beat 2 loss Dayton


2. Purdue Boilermakers - 14-1 - AMOV - 17.47 -beat 2L Samford & 3L AZ, Tenn &Illinois


3.Kansas Jayhawks - 13-1 - AMOV 13.43 - beat 2L UK & UConn, & 3L Tenn and TCU


4. S.Carolina Gamecocks - 13-1 -AMOV 11.93 - beat 1L Grand Canyon, 3L GW & Miss St.


5. Utah State Aggies - 14-1 AMOV 15.73 - beat 2L Colorado St.


6. Oklahoma Sooners - 13-1 - AMOV 18.50 - beat 3L Iowa St.





7. Grand Canyon Lopes - 14-1 - AMOV 14.60 - beat 2L SD St.


8. Nevada Wolf Pack - 14-1 - AMOV 15.27 - beat 3L TCU


9.Mississippi Rebels - 13-1 - AMOV 7.07 - beat 2-loss Memphis & 3 loss NC St


10. BYU Cougars - 12-2 AMOV 26.00 - Beat 2 loss SD St & 3 loss NC St


11 James Madison Dukes - 14-1 - AMOV 16.93


12.Princeton Tigers - 14-1 AMOV 15.29


13. Baylor Bears - 11-2 AMOV - 19.85 - Beat 2L Auburn and 3L Cornell


14. UConn Huskies - 12-2 - AMOV 18.67 - Beat 3L Texas & UNC


15.Kentucky Wildcats - 10-2 - AMOV - 16.46 - Beat 3L Miami & UNC


16. Cincinnati Bearcats - 12-2 - AMOV 15.86 - Beat 2L BYU





17.Colorado State Rams - 13-1 - AMOV 15.86 - beat 2L NM


18. Auburn Tigers - 11-2 AMOV 17.67


19. McNeese State Cowboys - 12-2 - AMOV 18.21


20. Dayton Flyers - 12-2 - AMOV 8.79 - Beat 2L Cincy


21. New Mexico Lobos - 13-2 - AMOV 15.67


22 Samford Bulldogs 13-2 AMOV 15.27


23. George Mason Patriots - 13-2 - AMOV 10.13 - Beat 3L Cornell


24. Texas Tech Red Raiders 12-2 AMOV 13.36 - Beat 3L Texas


25. Indiana St Sycamores 13-2 AMOV 14.73


Others Receiving Humor: - provided by real comedians and mostly real humor writers for their alma maters.


Illinois Fighting Illini - Men's NCAA D1 (11-3 AMOV 16.71) After destroying Northwestern by 30 on Tuesday, Illinois headed to the middle of nowhere (West Lafayette, Indiana) to face the #1 AP ranked team in the nation--Purdue. While Illinois staged a huge second-half comeback in their second game without their star player, it wasn't enough to overtake the Boilermakers. But it wasn't so much the player-of-the-year (the freakishly tall Zach Edey) who was a problem for the Illini as it was Trey Kaufman-Renn who scored a career high 23 points. His name sounds like a Star Wars character, perhaps a cousin of Kylo Ren, and he had to summon all of the Jedi tricks he learned from his Uncle Luke to overcome the Illini's late game surge. The teams meet again in March, and we'll see if Kylo, I mean Trey, can once again summon forces from the Dark Side while in Champaign. He won't be able to use his light saber this time since Illinois has much stricter laws against those than does Indiana. (Note: any references to Star Wars were thoroughly researched for up to 90 seconds on Wikipedia).  - Mike Hurley


Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (9-7 AMOV 5.69) - The Dartmouth Big Green were trounced by Penn, 80-51. The team will now be known as the Medium Green. - David Yas


Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (8-7 AMOV 4.53) - Penn State went 1-1 for the week, losing badly at Michigan St. 92-61 before holding off Michigan 79-73.  The Michigan game was played at The Palestra, where associate coach Phil Martelli served as head coach for the Wolverines, as a gesture from Michigan’s head coach Juwan Howard for Martelli’s many years as head coach of St. Joseph’s.  The Nittany Lions have Phil’s son, assistant coach Jimmy Martelli, on their staff this year, as a nod towards guys named Jimmy. - Michael Dinga Class of '86


Providence College Friars - Men's NCAA D1 (11-4- AMOV 8.93) - Friars fans worst nightmare: no, it's not the mascot...well, actually kinda yeah it is the mascot, have you seen that thing? It should be rated NC-17.  But seriously the Hopkins injury is a close second. - Mike Rusconi


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Men's NCAA D1 (10-4- AMOV 8.64) - The Bonnies stayed below the Mason Dixie line hoping to complete a 2-0 southern sweep but lost a tough game at  Richmond 65-54 dropping their record to 10-4  overall and 1-1 in A10 play. The Spiders played tough defense on the Bonnies who scored 44 points in the first half alone just 3 days before at VCU. The Bonnies head back north hosting back to back games vs Fordham & Rhode Island. Fans are hoping coach Schmidt can find fan favorite 6ft8 220 lb Barry Evans again who apparently can't be found to be put into the game!! - James Healy


St. John's Red Storm - Men's NCAA D1 (11 - 4 - AMOV 9.87) - Weather Alert!! - This weekend the Villanova Wildcats had to deal with two storms : first the St. John’s RedStorm won on their campus for the first time since 1993.  Then their fans had to drive home in a snowstorm. Good thing those Range Rovers and BMW’s come in All Wheel Drive. - Brendan Angelini


Stonehill Skyhawks - NCAA D1 Men - (2-15 AMOV -16.06) - Stonehill suffered another tough loss last week going down 79-64 to Binghamton. This was the Skyhawks seventh straight loss. Things have gotten so bad for Stonehill hoops this early season the fans in Easton could be heard cheering for Bailey Zappe. -BMC Class of '88


Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (11-5 AMOV 8.19) - Vermont starts the second semester tonight. They will not lose again this season until they have a 9:57 PM start time on Tru TV. - Clayton Trutor


Washington State Cougars - Men's NCAA D1 (10-5 - AMOV 9.13) In what could be their last trip to Pullman after more than 100 years, Oregon took an 89-84 win over Washington State Saturday night. The Ducks then had to walk to the airport through three miles of snow and wind in their game gear after their bus went missing and their dressing room was turned into a de facto garage sale during the second half by Wazzu President Kirk Schulz, attempting to recoup his school’s financial losses from the disintegration of the Pac-12. Oregon coach Dana Altman immediately fired his DOBO for failing to note the evening’s promotion was “Steal Oregon’s Shit Night.” - Shawn O'Neal


Yeah, I know the below school isn't D1, but the joke is funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (9-5 AMOV 10.79) - The Bentley men's team resumed play on January 3rd.  Since they played Assumption I made one. This game should should have been renamed The Hangover Bowl - Paul Nardizzi


And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:


Bentley Falcons - Women NCAA D2 (10-2 AMOV 11.42)- The Bentley women's team lost a recent recent match to Holy Family. This was a game we were all lucky to have not seen. Bentley shot 25.9% from the field and also from three. Holy Family shot 7.7% from 3 and 32% from the field, causing the score keeper to accidentally record the game as Brickley vs Holy _#$&&!  - Paul Nardizzi


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (8-6 AMOV 2.64) - In Penn’s 79-66 loss to Columbia, junior Stina Almqvist was a bright spot for the Quakers with 17 points, though not quite the 24 points Almqvist's surname would be worth in Words With Friends. - David Yas 


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.




Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - January 3, 2024


1.Houston Cougars - 13-0 - AMOV 26.54 - beat 2 loss Utah and Dayton


2. James Madison Dukes - 13-0 - AMOV 19.77


3.Mississippi Rebels - 13-0 - AMOV 9.62 - beat 2-loss Memphis & 3 loss NC St & UCF


4. BYU Cougars - 12-1 AMOV 28.85 - Beat 2 loss SD St & 3 loss NC St & Evansville


5. Purdue Boilermakers - 13-1 - AMOV - 18.36 -beat 2L Samford & 3L AZ, Tenn & Marq


6. Clemson Tigers - 11-1 - AMOV 13.08 - Beat 1L S Car, 2L TCU & 3L Davidson




7. Kansas Jayhawks - 12-1 AMOV 14.31 - beat 2L UK & UConn, & 3L Tenn and IU


8. S.Carolina Gamecocks - 12-1 -AMOV 12.38 - beat 1L Grand Canyon 2L GW


9. Colorado State Rams - 13-1 - AMOV 15.86 - beat 2L NM & Colorado


10. Oklahoma Sooners - 12-1 - AMOV 19.31 - beat 2 loss PC


11. Nevada Wolf Pack - 12-1 - AMOV 13.92 - beat 2L TCU


12. Grand Canyon Lopes - 12-1 - AMOV 14.46 - beat 2L SD St.


13. Utah State Aggies - 13-1 AMOV 16.50


14.Princeton Tigers - 12-1 AMOV 14.08 - beat 3L Duquesne


15. UConn Huskies - 12-2 - AMOV 19.50 - Beat 2L Texas & 3L IU & UNC


16. Baylor Bears - 11-2 AMOV - 19.85 - Beat 2L Auburn and 3L Fla & Cornell





17.Kentucky Wildcats - 10-2 - AMOV - 17.67 - Beat 2L Miami & 3L St.Joe's & UNC


18. Iowa State Cyclones - 10-2 - AMOV 27.15


19. Utah Utes - 11-2 - AMOV - 12.38 - Beat 1L BYU & 3L Wake Forest


20. Illinois Fighting Illini - 11-2 - AMOV 18.38 - beat 3L FAU & NW

llinois kicks off its Big 10 schedule with a visit from Northwestern and their star player Boo Buie. I don't care that he averages 17.9 points per game or that he torched Illinois for 50 points in two games last year, his name is funny to say. Reminds me of Boo Berry cereal, or Yogi's pal Boo-Boo, or Baba Booey of Howard Stern fame. It's even funnier if you say it several times in a row--Boo Buie Boo Buie Boo Buie Boo Buie Boo Buie. - Mike Hurley


21. Auburn Tigers - 11-2 AMOV 17.67 - beat 3L St. Bona & IU


22.Drake Bulldogs - 12-2 - AMOV 12.14 - Beat 1L Nevada


23 Miami Hurricanes - 10-2 - AMOV 14.92 - Beat 3L UCF, Kansas St, Georgia - 987.42


24. McNeese State Cowboys - 10-2 - AMOV 20.00


25. TCU Horned Frogs - 11-2 - AMOV 19.31



Others Receiving Humor: - provided by real comedians and mostly real humor writers for their alma maters.


Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (8-6 AMOV 5.86) - Penn fell to #3 Houston, 81-42. As my grandfather used to say, "in a fight between a cougar and a Quaker, take the cougar. No one ever got mauled to death by a Quaker.” - David Yas


Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (7-6 AMOV 7.15) - Penn State finished off 2023 in style, jumping out to a 44-24 halftime lead on the way to a 90-63 defeat of Rider.  Sophomore guard Kanye Clary paced the Nittany Lions attack with a career best 29 points.  The Broncs—not the Broncos, but the Broncs—were led by redshirt senior Mervin James, who scored a team high 19 points and who, by law, is nicknamed “Swervin”. - Michael Dinga Class of '86


Providence College Friars - Men's D1 (11-2 - AMOV 11.31) - Jesus bumps the Friars two up from 25 to 23 in the AP Poll for not playing during his birthday week. - Mike Rusconi


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Men's NCAA D1 (9-3- AMOV 10.08) The St Bonaventure Bonnies won a 1 point thriller 62-61 over Akron. The Bonnies now take a 9-3 record into its A10 conference schedule where they begin with a southern swing down to VCU & Richmond. Lets hope the Bonnies feast on this southern cooking and return north licking their fingers. - James Healy


Stonehill Skyhawks - NCAA D1 Men - (2-13 AMOV -26.92) - Stonehill traveled to Durham New Hampshire last week for a match up against 7-3 University of New Hampshire. Stonehill remained consistent losing 75-62.  Attendance was 410 which is 2.7% of the UNH student body. Sounds discouraging until you realize Republican Presidential Candidate Chris Christie spoke to 57 freshman co-ed’s, two librarians and an on the clock janitor at nearby Keene State University a few day’s earlier. -BMC Class of '88


Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (9-5 AMOV 8.79) - Vermont starts the second semester tonight. They will not lose again this season until they have a 9:57 PM start time on Tru TV. - Clayton Trutor


Yeah, I know the below school isn't D1, but the joke is funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (7-5 AMOV 9.58) - Bentley hit on 23 three pointers to shatter the school record in a 106-71 win over Felician!  I think as a coach, what I’d tell my players after a loss like that is, if we don’t count their layups, mid range shots, dunks and all the free throws, we won this sucker 71-69. Good job.  - Paul Nardizzi



And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:


Bentley Falcons - Women NCAA D2 (8-2 AMOV 10.20)- Bentley downed Malloy in the first of its four game religious section of the schedule. It will face Holy Family next, then Assumption and finally St. Rose.  Not sure if these schools have stained glass backboards.

 - Paul Nardizzi


Marietta College Pioneers - Women's NCAA D3 - (8-3 AMOV 11.09) - The team finished off 2023 with big win over Oberlin College who had been 9-1 going into the contest.   Following the game, the Oberlin mascot, Yeobie the Albino Squirrel, was asked what it thought about the result.  Apparently the mascot of very few words replied “Nuts.” - Mark Hoover


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (8-5 AMOV 3.85) - Penn takes on Columbia Saturday and then again on Jan. 27, as the rivalry is renewed between the two institutions that every Harvard and Yale kid employed as safety schools. - David Yas


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.




Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - December 27, 2023


1.Houston Cougars - 12-0 - AMOV 25.50 - beat 2 loss Utah and Dayton


2. BYU Cougars - 11-1 AMOV 29.08 - Beat 2 loss SD St, Evansville & 3 loss NC St.


3. James Madison Dukes - 12-0 AMOV 20.00


4.Mississippi Rebels - 12-0 - AMOV 9.00 - beat 2-loss Memphis & 3 loss NC St & UCF


5. Purdue Boilermakers - 11-1 - AMOV - 18.00 -beat 2L AZ & Samford & 3L Zags, Tenn & Marq


6. Clemson Tigers - 9-1 - AMOV 9.20 - Beat 1L S Car, 2L TCU & 3L Pitt & Davidson





7. Kansas Jayhawks - 11-1 AMOV 13.92 - beat 2L UK & UConn, & 3L Tenn and IU


8. S.Carolina Gamecocks - 11-1 -AMOV 10.75 - beat 1L Grand Canyon 2L GW & 3L VTech


9. Colorado State Rams - 11-1 - AMOV 14.08 - beat 2L Colorado & 3L BC, Creighton, Wash


10. Oklahoma Sooners - 10-1 - AMOV 19.91 - beat 2 loss PC


11. Nevada Wolf Pack - 12-1 - AMOV 13.92 - beat 2L TCU and 3L Washington


12 Grand Canyon Lopes - 10-1 AMOV 12.27 - beat 2L SD St. & 3L Liberty


13. Utah State Aggies - 12-1 AMOV 15.62 - beat 3 loss Akron


14. New Mexico Lobos - 11-1 AMOV 16.08 - beat 3L Santa Barbara


15.Princeton Tigers - 11-1 AMOV 15.08 - beat 3L Duquesne


16. Indiana State Sycamores - 11-1 AMOV 17.33





17. UConn Huskies - 11-2 - AMOV 18.77 - Beat 2L Texas & 3L IU, UNC & Zags


18.Baylor Bears 10-2 AMOV - 19.92 - Beat 2L Auburn and 3L Fla & Oregon St.


19.FAU Owls - 10-2 AMOV 14.17 - Beat 2L AZ & 3L Butler, VTech,Liberty & St. Bona


20. Iowa State Cyclones - 10-2 - AMOV 28.17


21. Arizona Wildcats -9-2- AMOV 22.27 - beat 3L Duke and Wisc


22. Kentucky Wildcats - 9-2 - AMOV - 16.91 - Beat 2L Miami & 3L St.Joe's & UNC


23. Miss. State Bulldogs 10-2 - AMOV 12.75 - Beat 2L Wash St & NW & 3L Tulane


24.Drake Bulldogs - 11-2 - AMOV 11.77 - Beat 1L Nevada & 3L Akron


25. Providence Friars - 11-2 - AMOV 11.31 - Beat 3L Butler, Columbia, Wisc, Georgia & Marq


Others Receiving Humor: - provided by real comedians and mostly real humor writers for their alma maters.


Illinois Fighting Illini - Men's NCAA D1 (9-2 AMOV 16.00) The Illini jumped up to #11 in the Men's D1 AP this week, just in time to meet the giant killers of Fairleigh Dickinson. As I like to remind my brother-in-law who graduated from Purdue, the #16 seeded Knights knocked off the #1 seeded Boilermakers in last year's tournament. Hey Chris, remember when you guys lost last year to a number 16 seed? It still brings me joy.  - Mike Hurley


Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (8-5 AMOV 9.31) - Penn is, of course, the home of the prestigious Wharton business school. The men’s hoop team needed overtime on Saturday to defeat Rider, 77-73, possibly due to confusion over whether Rider referred to a contractual provision or an actual school with a basketball team. - David Yas


Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (6-6 AMOV 5.50) - Penn State’s lone game this week was against Le Moyne College, which just moved up to Division 1 this year, with the Lions jumping out to an early lead and then pulling away late to garner a 72-55 victory at home.  Earlier this Fall, I witnessed in person Le Moyne’s first ever Division 1 game when they lost at Georgetown 94-57.  In his post-game presser, Le Moyne’s head coach Nate Champion said “But the biggest thing that I saw was just the maturity of the group, like how much we’ve improved since Georgetown.”  Me, too.  I mean my own maturity, since I have not rubbed PSU’s win in the face of my brother, who went to Le Moyne.  Until now, I guess. - Michael Dinga Class of '86


St Bonaventure Bonnies - Men's NCAA D1 (7-3- AMOV 9.40) The St Bonaventure Bonnies (8-3) began the holiday week with another blowout victory 90-64, this time over Binghamton with Moses Flowers leading the way with 25 points.  Bonnies have the rest of the holiday week off until they participate in the Legends Showcase Tournament in Cleveland OH where they take on Akron (8-3) as part of a triple header at the Rocket Mortgage arena.

The Bonnies have given Santa Claus a run for his money fattening up on cream puffs through the month of December -  however the Zips  may put an end to that feast. - James Healy


St. John's Red Storm - NCAA Men's D1 (8-4 AMOV 9.75) - Kind of a “good news / bad news / great news” week for St John’s basketball.  

Good news : they blew out Sean Miller and Xavier in their home opener.  

Bad news: they lost a close game  to UConn at the XL Center in Hartford, Connecticut.  

Great News : They left right after game and don’t have the spend the holidays in Hartford, Connecticut. - Brendan Angelini


Stonehill Skyhawks - NCAA D1 Men - (2-12 AMOV -18.00) - Thinking about Stonehill vs. Stony Brook I did a little research on the two institutions of higher learning. According to EduRank Stonehill, a Catholic college, ranks in the area of Theology, Divinity, Religious Studies #619 in the United States, 674 in North America and 1,887 in the world. It’s been a while since I was there but this seems a little low. I mean there were lots of priests around doing stuff, teaching and preaching.  On the bright side it does rank 4,714 in the world in Paleontology. Stony Brook has quite a list in their Edurank 100 notable alumni. People like Joy Behar, Pat Benatar and ranked #10 the sole, constant member of the hard rock band Blue Oyster Cult; Buck Dharma who is credited on several of the bands hits (Don’t Fear) The Reaper, Godzilla and Burnin for You.  Interesting how these lists are made up The Godzilla singer/songwriter guy is #10 and two spots later at #12 Jeff Raskin who conceived and initiated the MacIntosh project at Apple in the late 1970’s.  Then down at #18 is Vi Hart who has co-authored several research papers on “the mathematics of paper folding”.  I don’t know what is more confounding, the fact that there is an academic field on the mathematics of paper folding or that there are 4,713 schools with better Paleontology programs than my alma mater Stonehill.  - BMC Class of '88


Syracuse Orange - Men's NCAA D1 (9-3 AMOV 8.00) - Well, winning was nice while it lasted. Syracuse finally set to start ACC conference play. Can’t they just play Niagara 20 times until the tournament?  - John Berardi


Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (9-5 AMOV 8.79) - Vermont kicks off the second semester on January 2nd against Brown. I will not be able to attend or listen on the radio. The last time I missed a UVM basketball game was the last time that Boxcar Willie performed at his theatre in Branson, Missouri. I wasn't there in Branson but it happened to be on the same date. - Clayton Trutor


Washington State - Men's NCAA D1 (9-2 - AMOV 14.91) The announcement that the West Coast Conference would take Washington State as an affiliate member for basketball starting in 2024 was an exciting one for WCC coaches, absolutely thrilled to travel to Pullman in the dead of winter. In a related story, Vladmir Putin has announced that -- in the next stage of his incarceration -- Alexei Navalny will be Leonard Perry's new director of basketball operations at the University of the Pacific.  - Shawn O'Neal


Yeah, I know the below school isn't D1, but the joke is funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (6-5 AMOV 9.58) - Bentley men's basketball head coach Jay Lawson has been with the program for 38 years. I think it's time we started driving this man to the games in a Bentley. - Paul Nardizzi


And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:


Bentley Falcons - Women NCAA D2 (8-2 AMOV 10.20)- The D2 15th ranked Bentley women's team beat Southern New Hampshire despite Meghan Gordon's 19 rebounds. 19 rebounds! I had to double check the rules to make sure you were allowed to box out in women's hoop. - Paul Nardizzi


Marietta College Pioneers - Women's NCAA D3 - (6-3 AMOV 11.44) - The Marieta College Women’s team hosts the 37th Annual Jim Meagle Holiday Classic this weekend.  The Pioneers tip off against the Gettysburg College Bullets in Game One.  I think they’ve got a good shot at winning this one. - Mark Hoover


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (6-5 AMOV -0.73) - Penn freshman standout Mataya Gayle is the oldest of 10 siblings. It’s not so much that she could always find a pickup basketball game; it’s more like her house was a pickup basketball game. Before the Gayle kids learn how to say “mommy” and “daddy” they learn how to say “we got next!" - David Yas


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.



Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - December 20, 2023

1.Houston Cougars - 11-0 - AMOV 24.64 - 2 wins over 2 loss teams


2. Oklahoma Sooners - 10-0 - AMOV 23.10 - 1 win over 2-loss team


3. James Madison Dukes - 11-0 AMOV 20.55


4. BYU Cougars - 8-1 AMOV 26.78 - 2 wins over 2-loss teams


5.Mississippi Rebels - 11-0 - AMOV 8.27 - 1 wins over 2-loss teams


6. Purdue Boilermakers - 10-1 - AMOV - 15.73 -1 win over 1-loss team & 1 win over 2-loss team







7. Kansas Jayhawks - 10-1 AMOV 13.82 - 1 win over 1-loss team & 1 win over 2 loss team


8. UConn Huskies - 9-1 - AMOV 23.18 - 1 wins over 2-loss team


9.Arizona Wildcats -8-0 - AMOV 30.12


10. Colorado State Rams - 10-1 - AMOV 14.55 - 2 wins over 2-loss teams


11. S.Carolina Gamecocks - 10-1 -AMOV 9.27 -1 win over a 1-loss team & 1 win over 2-loss team


12. Drake Bulldogs -11-1 AMOV 12.83 - 1 win over a 1-loss team


13. Baylor Bears 9-1 AMOV 18.80 - 1 win over a 2 loss team


14. Longwood Lancers - 12-1 - AMOV 19.62


15.TCU Horned Frogs - 8-1 - AMOV 21.22


16.Purdue-Fort Wayne Mastodons - 11-1 AMOV 19.42





17. Nevada Wolf Pack - 9-1 - AMOV 13.60 - 1 win over 2-loss team


18. Indiana State Sycamores - 11-1 AMOV 17.33

19 Appalachian State Mountaineers - 9-2 - AMOV 18.18 - 2 wins over 2 loss teams


20 Grand Canyon Lopes - 9-1 AMOV 12.30 - 1 win over 2 loss team


21. New Mexico Lobos - 10-1 AMOV 16.36


22. Utah State Aggies - 11-1 AMOV 15.67


23. Clemson Tigers - 9-1 - AMOV 9.20 - 1 win over 2 loss team


24. Princeton Tigers - 10-1 AMOV 13.64 - 1 win over a 2 loss team


25. Iowa State Cyclones - 9-2 - AMOV 27.82


Others Receiving Humor: from comedians and humor writers about their schools.


Illinois Fighting Illini - Men's NCAA D1 (8-2 AMOV 15.20) - According to ESPN, Illinois played Colgate 75 years ago and attempted 132 field goals in the game--a franchise record--but they only scored 85 points. On Sunday, Illinois attempted a mere 55 field goals in their 74-57 win over Colgate while outrebounding them 43 to 25,  which left a minty fresh taste in their mouth.  - Mike Hurley


Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (7-5 AMOV 9.75) - After Penn’s victory over Howard, clever Daily Pennsylvanian editors somehow avoided the headline “Penn Sends Howard Stern Warning” and “Quakers’ Strong Start Means Howard’s End.” With a game coming up against 2-8 Rider, the preview article will likely be titled “Easy Rider Match Approaches,” “Quakers Look To Spill Rider’s Cup,” or “Rider? We Hardly Know Her.” - David Yas


Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (5-6 AMOV 4.45) - Penn State’s only loss this week (ok, it was also their only game this week) was an 82-81 OT thriller to Georgia Tech in the Holiday Festival in Madison Square Garden in NYC, due in large part to a phantom foul call with 2.1 seconds left that led to the go ahead free throws.  But I’m not bitter. - Michael Dinga Class of '86


St. Bonaventure Bonnies - Men's NCAA D1 (7-3- AMOV 9.40) The Bonnies were on a roll - winning 5 game in a row and  improving their NET ranking by a whopping 56 points to #71. Leading the charge has been senior PG Mika Adams Woods. His big week resulted in winning  Atlantic 10 Player of the Week honors as well as U.S. Basketball Writers Association (USBWA) Player of the Week, an award bestowed to only five players nation-wide. Mika Woods shot a sizzling 76.5% over the last 4 games. In all the pom pom waving for the Bonnies however, it must be noted in the pounding of their last 4 opponents by an average of 30 points - those opponents could be categorized as 4 schools in the league of St Marys School For The Poor - but I wont - since even they would have made quick fodder of the 4. - James Healy


St. John's Red Storm - NCAA Men's D1 (7-3 AMOV 10.60) - Over the weekend, St. John’s HC Rick Pitino praised play of the New Mexico Lobos in their win over their rival Aggies.   Upon further investigation…it turns out the HC of the Lobos also has the last name “Pitino”.  I wonder if they are related in some way ??? - Brendan Angelini


Stonehill Skyhawks - NCAA D1 Men - (2-11 AMOV -16.46) - My wife is an alum of top ranked University of Miami. For the first time in the 18 years we have known each other our colleges are facing off.  Unfortunately, she has minor elective eye surgery that day. Stonehill is so bad I have chosen to have more invasive eye surgery just so I can’t watch the game.

 - BMC Class of '88


Syracuse Orange - Men's NCAA D1 (8-3 AMOV 7.64) - Not having the zone stinks, like Patrick Ewings bad breath, only way to fix that is with some Mintz.  - John Berardi


Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (8-4 AMOV 8.17) - Earlier this week, UVM lost a battle of mid major powers against Colgate. Nevertheless, Vermont will beat out Colgate when it really counts.--as the safety school of choice for graduates of New England Prep Schools. - Clayton Trutor


Yeah, I know the below schools aren't D1, but the jokes are funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (6-5 AMOV 8.73) - Bentley played Southern New Hampshire this week. Folks from NH refer to that school as SNU (pronounced Snew) which for those who don't know New England slang, is the past tense of snow.  - Paul Nardizzi


Marietta College Pioneers - Men's NCAA D3 - (7-2 AMOV 8.44) - After a strong start to the season, the Marietta College men’s team heads to San Juan for the Puerto Rico Classic this week.  The Pioneers have their work cut out for them given the potential support coming from above as they compete against Messiah University, St. Mary’s College of Maryland and Lancaster Bible College. - Mark Hoover


And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:

Bentley Falcons - Women NCAA D2 (8-2 AMOV 10.20)- Quick glance at the  Bentley women's team schedule.  Unless they're looking for coal in their stocking, might be a good idea to tank the game vs Holy Family Univ. a week prior to Christmas!  Yeesh.  Who are they going to schedule before Easter, the South Dakota Jackrabbits? - Paul Nardizzi


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (6-5 AMOV -0.73) - After falling to the Temple Owls, the Lady Quakers look to rebound against Maine’s Black Bears and avoid the dreaded “Forest Wildlife Losing Streak." - David Yas


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.




Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - December 12, 2023


1.Houston Cougars - 10-0 AMOV 26.70 - 2 wins over 2 loss teams


2. Clemson Tigers - 9-0 - AMOV 11.57 - 2 win over 1 loss teams

3.Arizona Wildcats -8-0 - AMOV 30.12


4. Baylor Bears 9-0 AMOV 23.56 1 win over a 2 loss team


5. Oklahoma Sooners - 9-0 AMOV 21.89 - 1 win over 2-loss team


6. BYU Cougars - 8-1 AMOV 26.78 - 3 wins over 2-loss teams





7. UConn Huskies - 9-1 - AMOV 24.20 - 3 wins over 2-loss teams


8. James Madison Dukes - 9-0 AMOV 18.89


9. Mississippi Rebels - 9-0 - AMOV 6.67 - 2 wins over 2-loss teams


10. Colorado State Rams - 9-0 AMOV 12.80 - 2 wins over 2-loss teams & 1 win over 1 loss team


11. Purdue Boilermakers - 9-1 - AMOV - 16.50 -3 wins over 2-loss teams


12. Kansas Jayhawks - 9-1 AMOV 14.80 - 1 win over a one loss team & 1 win over a 2 loss team


13. Creighton Bluejays - 8-1 AMOV 23.33 - 1 win over a 2-loss team.


14. S.Carolina Gamecocks - 8-1 - AMOV 9.78 -1 win over a 1-loss team & 1 win over 2-loss team


15. Northwestern Wildcats - 7-1 AMOV 10.00 - 1 win over a 1-loss team & 1 win over 2-loss team


16. Washington State Cougars - 8-1 AMOV 18.50 - 1 win over a 2-loss team





17. New Mexico Lobos - 9-1 AMOV 16.50 - 1 win over 2-loss team


18. Longwood Lancers - 10-1 - AMOV 20.27


19. Drake Bulldogs - 9-1 AMOV 10.50 - 1 win over a 1-loss team


20.TCU Horned Frogs - 7-1 - AMOV 21.38


21.Cincinatti Bearcats - 8-1 AMOV 20.33


22. Purdue-Fort Wayne Mastodons - 10-1 AMOV 19.09


23. Utah State Aggies - 9-1 AMOV 18.50


24. Indiana State Sycamores - 9-1 AMOV 17.60


25.Grand Canyon Lopes - 8-1 AMOV 10.56


Others Receiving Humor: from comedians and humor writers


35. Illinois Fighting Illini - Men's NCAA D1 (7-2 AMOV 15) - For Illinois this past week, it was truly a Tale of Two Cities--New York and Knoxville. The best of times: Illinois with an impressive win against a 2023 Final Four FAU team at Madison Square Garden. The worst of times: Illinois with a tough road loss to a ranked Tennessee team. The absolute worst of times: having to listen to an arena of local yokels singing the most annoying song ever, "Rocky Top."  - Mike Hurley


87.Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (8-3 AMOV 10.91) - Sometimes, it's hard to be a woman. Giving all your love to just one man. Unless that man is UVM head basketball coach John Becker. Becker is 77 inches of dreaminess in a 260 pound bag. - Clayton Trutor


184.Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (6-5 AMOV 9.73) - Penn senior guard Clark Slajchert leads his team in 3-pointers and overall scoring. Go ahead and name him university president … it seems the position is suddenly available.  - David Yas


204.Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (4-4 AMOV 6.82) : Penn State’s much needed 83-80 home win on Saturday against that team from Ohio ended a 5 game losing streak. More importantly, one of the referees in the Lions’ 81-75 loss on Wednesday at Maryland was Jeffrey Anderson, who is known as “high knees” because he runs up and down the court with, well, high knees.  And he has his own supporter/fan account on X (formerly Twitter) @highkneesref.  For real. - Michael Dinga Class of '86


344.Stonehill Skyhawks - NCAA D1 Men - (1-10 AMOV -20.73) - From November 11 to November 17 Stonehill lost three consecutive games to #6 UConn., St. Joe’s and #17 University of Kentucky by an average of 39.33 points per game.  Almost makes watching a Patriots game sound appealing.  - BMC Class of '88


Yeah, I know the below school isn't D1, but the joke is funny.

Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (5-4 AMOV 6.89) - Bentley was undefeated but then lost to AIC. I can relate, I was poor when facing schools that reduced the school name to an acronym. My worst game was against Fordham University.  - Paul Nardizzi


And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:

Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (6-5 AMOV -0.73) - Penn senior Jordan Obi’s father’s name is “Innocent.” And yet somehow his daughter is a true thief — she leads the team with 20 steals.  - David Yas


Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.



Domination Rankings - Men's D1 Only - December 5, 2023


1. BYU Cougars - 8-0 AMOV 32.88 - 4 wins over 2-loss teams


2. UConn Huskies - 8-1 - AMOV 22.67 - 3 wins over 1-loss teams & 1 win over a 2-loss team

3. Colorado State Rams - 8-0 AMOV 15.12 - 2 wins over 2-loss teams & 1 win over 1 loss team

4.Houston Cougars - 8-0 AMOV 24.62 - 2 wins over 2 loss teams

5. Arizona Wildcats - 7-0 AMOV 30.86

6. Baylor Bears 9-0 AMOV 23.56 1 win over a 2 loss team



7. Oklahoma Sooners - 8-0 AMOV 23.5 - 1 win over 2 loss team

8. S.Carolina Gamecocks - 7-0 - AMOV 12.43 -1 win over a 1-loss team & 1 win over 2-loss team

9. Princeton Tigers - 9-0 - AMOV 11.33 - 3 wins over 2-loss teams

10. James Madison Dukes - 8-0 AMOV 19.38 - 1 win over 2 loss team

11.TCU Horned Frogs - 7-0 - AMOV 25.57

12. Nevada Wolf Pack - 6-0 - AMOV 20

13.Cincinatti Bearcats - 7-0 AMOV 22.29

14. Purdue Boilermakers - 8-1 - AMOV - 17.67 -1 win over 1-loss team &2 wins over 2-loss teams

15. Mississippi Rebels - 8-0 - AMOV 7.25 - 2 wins over 2-loss teams

16. Clemson Tigers - 7-0 - AMOV 11.57 - 1 win over a 2 loss team


17. Kansas Jayhawks - 8-1 - AMOV 15.44 - 1 win over a 1-loss team and 1 win over a 2-loss team

18. Creighton Blue Jays - 7-1 -AMOV - 20.62 - 1 win over a 1-loss team

19. Washington State Cougars - 7-1 AMOV 16 - 1 win over a 2-loss team

Washington State’s Myles Rice looks like one of the best young players in the Pac-12, which means he’ll be featured roughly 12 hours a day next year on the Pac-2 Network. That’s a bad joke and not even true: He’ll have transferred by then. - Shawn O'Neal

20. Miami Hurricanes - 6-1 AMOV 10.43 - 3 wins over 2-loss teams

21. Gonzaga Bulldogs - 7-1 - AMOV 20.38 - 1 win over a 1-loss team

22. Virginia Cavaliers - 8-1 -AMOV 14.78 - 2 wins over 2-loss teams

23. Ohio State Buckeyes - 7-1 AMOV 14.75 - 2 wins over 2-loss teams

24. Illinois Fighting Illini - 7-1 AMOV 17.75 - 1 win over a 2 loss team

So far this season, the Illini have recorded wins over such teams as Eastern Illinois, Southern University, and Western Illinois to vault them back into the AP Top 25 rankings. They're hoping to continue their winning ways over directional teams with two scheduled games against Northwestern, a tournament featuring the East-West University School of Communications and the South Central Michigan School of Phlebotomy, and a much-anticipated South-by-Southwest showdown in Austin with the band The Avett Brothers. - Mike Hurley

25. New Mexico Lobos - 7-1 AMOV 17.38 - 1 win over a 2 loss team

25. Marquette Golden Eagles 7-2 AMOV 13.22-2 wins over 1-loss teams and 2 wins over 2 loss teams


Others Receiving Humor:


167.Vermont Catamounts - Men's NCAA D1 (7-2 AMOV 13.78) - As I write, the Vermont Catamounts hold a 28-26 advantage over Yale at halftime in Burlington. Vermont may be a little overrated this season but not nearly as overrated as New Haven Pizza. - Clayton Trutor


169.Penn Quakers - Men's NCAA D1 (5-4 AMOV 7.56) - Penn loses an overtime heartbreaker to LaSalle. That must been a long bus ride home. Sure, it’s only six miles. But a looong six miles. - David Yas


176.Penn State Nittany Lions - Men's NCAA D1 (4-4 AMOV 6.82) : No truth to the rumor that recently fired football OC Mike Yurcich is being blamed for Penn State’s 76-67 loss to then-KenPom #330 Bucknell. Nope, not at all… - Mike Dinga


331.Stonehill Skyhawks - NCAA D1 Men - (1-8 AMOV -21.44) - Last week in an 80-74 loss to UMass-Lowell, Stonehill shot 8 for 23 from 3. Freshman year I was 8 for 23 from the girls dorm. - BMC Class of '88


Yeah, I know the below schools are not D1, but the jokes are funny.


Bentley Falcons - Men's NCAA D2 (5-3 AMOV 8.62) - Bentley is off to a 5-3 start. Guard Cash McClure is red hot, shooting 42% from three. Can we excuse a player named Cash for yelling ka ching every time he scores? - Paul Nardizzi


182.Marietta College Pioneers - Men's NCAA D3 (4-2 - AMOV 6.83) - Marietta College’s men’s team has started the 2023 season strong despite a tough loss to #10 in D3 Calvin University. Apparently Hobbs was on fire from outside the arc. - Mark Hoover


And as some evidence that we have not abandoned our mission of equality:


Penn Quakers - Women's NCAA D1 (5-3 AMOV 0.38) - The Penn women’s team suffered a humbling loss to Marquette. To compound the loss, the result ensures that the squad will end the season with a losing record against schools with the letter Q in their name. - David Yas

Others Receiving Praise:


Kenneth Massey - Without Kenneth's statistical assistance Dave would be spending another 25 hours putting this together. Please check out masseyratings.com. It's amazing.


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